(no subject)
Wow. It's defenitely been quite awhile. My birthday's tomorrow, but I haven't even really thought about it at all. This summer has been freaking crazy. I guess I should start at the beginning.
First, right before school ended, I took a second job at this store called Spencer's. One of the managers kind of caught my eye a bit and we got to flirting. Turns out, we ended up really good friends and, you know, a little more. But a bunch of people caught on and he could've got into big trouble, so nothing was finalized. More and more though, I started falling for him. He's this really great guy, really nice, really sweet.
So, I decided I defenitely should think about getting a new job. I went down to UVa, and decided to take up a job as a waitress for the Business School at UVa. I got the job, and it turned out that the job ended up being really good for me.
Michael and I began to really start to like eachother, so I knew I had to start telling people. I lost one of my best friends in the process, because everything got all screwed up and people always end up fucking eachother over in situations like that, I guess. I like to say I tried my best, but, in the end, most likely it was my fault. Somehow. I screwed up. Because I do that, a lot. I guess I just have come to terms with that. One of my best friends stayed, though. The one that's always stayed. I don't even know why I expected any differently, really, because he's always been there. Through and through. I guess that's just how some people are.
And, in the end of the summer, I can say I ended up with the same person I always knew would be there, with a person who I never expected to be there but so glad he is, and without a person who I always hoped would stick around but doubted she forever would. I feel good. I wish that some things didn't turn out the way that I wanted them to, but with the bad comes the good. And I have to go ahead and hold my head up high and enjoy the good.
I've felt bad about the bad for so long... All my life, actually. And its brought me down. Down. Down. Now, though, my last year.. I'm finally learning that I'm a good person and I deserve to be treated well and I work hard and love my friends and family and do everything I can to help out. I don't deserve to be brought down, so I won't be. Even though there are factors every day of my life that make me think I could just crawl up in a little ball and stay that way for the rest of my life. But then I think better thoughts and I'm grateful.
Every summer I seem to grow like a hundred times more than I did throughout the year combined. Hence the love for summer, I guess. I still Andrew and Jimmie and Michael and Britton and Bob and my girls at work and my mom... And for now, that's all I need.
School, though, is another story. But that's for the next entry. Hopefully not in a hundred months. Hah.
Much love. <333. &hearts. Lizi.
First, right before school ended, I took a second job at this store called Spencer's. One of the managers kind of caught my eye a bit and we got to flirting. Turns out, we ended up really good friends and, you know, a little more. But a bunch of people caught on and he could've got into big trouble, so nothing was finalized. More and more though, I started falling for him. He's this really great guy, really nice, really sweet.
So, I decided I defenitely should think about getting a new job. I went down to UVa, and decided to take up a job as a waitress for the Business School at UVa. I got the job, and it turned out that the job ended up being really good for me.
Michael and I began to really start to like eachother, so I knew I had to start telling people. I lost one of my best friends in the process, because everything got all screwed up and people always end up fucking eachother over in situations like that, I guess. I like to say I tried my best, but, in the end, most likely it was my fault. Somehow. I screwed up. Because I do that, a lot. I guess I just have come to terms with that. One of my best friends stayed, though. The one that's always stayed. I don't even know why I expected any differently, really, because he's always been there. Through and through. I guess that's just how some people are.
And, in the end of the summer, I can say I ended up with the same person I always knew would be there, with a person who I never expected to be there but so glad he is, and without a person who I always hoped would stick around but doubted she forever would. I feel good. I wish that some things didn't turn out the way that I wanted them to, but with the bad comes the good. And I have to go ahead and hold my head up high and enjoy the good.
I've felt bad about the bad for so long... All my life, actually. And its brought me down. Down. Down. Now, though, my last year.. I'm finally learning that I'm a good person and I deserve to be treated well and I work hard and love my friends and family and do everything I can to help out. I don't deserve to be brought down, so I won't be. Even though there are factors every day of my life that make me think I could just crawl up in a little ball and stay that way for the rest of my life. But then I think better thoughts and I'm grateful.
Every summer I seem to grow like a hundred times more than I did throughout the year combined. Hence the love for summer, I guess. I still Andrew and Jimmie and Michael and Britton and Bob and my girls at work and my mom... And for now, that's all I need.
School, though, is another story. But that's for the next entry. Hopefully not in a hundred months. Hah.
Much love. <333. &hearts. Lizi.