Penny For Your Thoughts - Part 2 - Tina
Title: Penny For Your Thoughts (all 4 parts of a 4 part fic)
Author: alonemirage2see
Pairing: Tina/Mike (mentions of Tina/Artie but not much)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Dream On with references to Ballad
Word Count: 2,758
Disclaimer: Obviously the characters are not mine and I mean no harm. I just have an over active imagination sometimes and the idea of Tina and Mike together is too good to pass up.
Summery: A journey of Tina and Mike's inner thoughts during the last 5 minutes or so of Dream On.
A/N: I started this about 4 months ago, and finally managed to finish it. It sticks very closely to the events of the episodes, but is slightly A/U in the sense that I filled in some of the blanks in events and things we didn't see. Also, please don't judge me by the cheese factor of some of it. Sometimes I can't help myself. I LOVE CHEESE (this is why I'm not a vegan)
Part 1 - Mike
Part 3 - Mike
Part 4 - Tina
Tina tried to put on a brave face while Artie broke the news to her that he wasn’t going to do the dance they’d been working on. She couldn’t understand why he thought he had to quit, she didn’t care about his wheelchair, she never had, but it was bothering him. All her efforts to fake a smile were failing her, and at her best, she knew she was still unconvincing. It was all she could do not to cry though, so really, she wasn’t surprised. There was a guilt that tugged at her about the whole ordeal, and it wasn’t helping her current mood. Had she done something wrong? Did she build his hopes up too much? Was it wrong to even say anything in the first place? She hadn’t meant to cause any harm, she only wanted to help. She wanted Artie to feel like he could do what he’d always dreamed of, she wanted to help him feel better about it, wanted to give him hope. He sounded upset now though, that was definitely not her goal, and she couldn’t help but feel like she had messed up again. Lately, it felt like she couldn’t do anything right, and sometimes it left her wondering how much he really did care about her. She knew he did, but it was hard to believe when he made her feel like she needed to change. Deep down, she knew it wasn’t that simple, and those were the times when Mercedes would remind her that “he’s just bein’ a dumb teenage boy,” but Tina often suspected those words were just to make her feel better. She loved Artie, and no matter what, she knew there’d always be a place for him in her heart, but lately she didn’t know if it was worth it. She could handle a relationship that wasn’t exactly 50/50, but she couldn’t deal with one that was 90/10, let alone one that was completely one sided, and sometimes…a lot of the time, with Artie, that was exactly what it felt like.
Taking her seat along with everyone else, Tina couldn’t help but watch Artie out of the corner of her eye while Mr. Schuester was talking to them. It wasn’t as though her mind was paying any attention anyway, so what difference did it make if her eyes were or not? Everything he was saying glossed right over her. She picked out a choice word here or there, but that was about it. The point of anything he was trying to say was completely lost on her, because all she could think about was Artie and what had just happened out in the hall. She was supposed to get up and perform in a minute, without her dance partner. What was she going to do? Dance with someone else. That was the option he gave her. It wasn’t how she wanted this to go, the point of it all was for him to dance. She was doing it for him, first and foremost. Somewhere along the way though, it became something she wanted to do for herself as well, but was that really so bad? She tossed the options around in her head, and finally came to a conclusion, if that was how he wanted it to be, her dancing with someone else, then that’s what was going to happen. She didn’t know if he meant it or not, but regardless, she was going to do it. She wanted everyone to see what she’d been working on.
There was a tugging feeling in her gut when she got called up to face everyone. She knew what she wanted to do, she knew exactly who she wanted dancing with her, and in the front of her mind, she had rationalized it easily. She hadn’t known what she was getting into, choreographing a dance routine, it wasn’t exactly her specialty, so she asked Mike if he would help her come up with something. At first, she wasn’t sure if he really wanted to, he had seemed surprised when she asked, and was acting strange. (Then again, Mike acting strange around her had grown to be a normal thing, ironically enough.) Ultimately though, he agreed to it, and the couple days they spent together figuring it out had been fun. It was a lot of fun, actually, and there was a point when it might have been too much fun. In the back of her mind, she knew that was the real reason she wanted to pick him, and it scared her. It scared her, how he made her smile, but in a good way, which at the same time was bad. Talk about confusing. She had a boyfriend, she wasn’t supposed to think about other guys like that, especially when it wasn’t the first time he scared her that way.
When she drew his name as a ballad partner, Tina didn’t know what to expect. Mike Chang, she was supposed sing a ballad to football player Mike? They had nothing in common, there was no way he’d ever understand her, and there was no way she was going to understand him. They were from two different worlds; this was a disaster waiting to happen. When they hung back after class to make plans, it was the first time he acted weird around her, but she had just assumed it was because he was disappointed with who he ended up with. He wanted Brittany, she thought. It always seemed to her that he liked her, but he lacked the equipment she desired. By the time they had decided to meet up after school, he seemed to cheer up a little, so she hoped that maybe his earlier weirdness was a result of Brittany and Santana’s victory dance at being paired up, and maybe that meant this adventure wasn’t going to be total hell.
It was weird to her, being at Mike’s place. She wasn’t exactly the type who always went over to other peoples’ houses. She’d been over to Artie’s several times, almost all the time, and she’d been to Kurt’s place, and Mercedes’ house too, but that was about it. She wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. Being at someone else’s house was awkward enough as it was, but now she was in the house of someone who there was a 50% chance didn’t want her there to begin with. It hadn’t helped matters any that she was in a mood, and had been for a couple weeks. After Artie got mad at her, she hadn’t been herself, and she could feel people talking behind her back. At first, she thought maybe it was all in her head, but then Mercedes greeted her one morning in a way that could be described as anything but subtle. “Giiiiirl, who fakes a stutter?” Her stomach sank, if Mercedes knew, there was no doubt that the entire club, at the very least, knew. The surefire way to let the whole school know something was to tell Mercedes, everyone knew that. Maybe Artie told her to teach Tina a lesson. That was what she thought anyway.
To Tina’s surprise, her friend was a lot better about it than Artie had been. After a day of pampering themselves and shopping at the mall while they talked, she’d been feeling better. Well, about everyone knowing her secret at least. Artie on the other hand? Well that was a different story. Mercedes knew how Tina felt about him, she was the only one she ever told, so it was needless to say that Mercedes knew how heartbroken Tina was over it, and given her own messy situation with Kurt earlier that year, she understood all too well. When they left the mall, she handed Tina a small bag from the music store, and when she looked inside, she saw Beyonce’s “I Am…Sasha Fierce” CD. When she got home, she listened to track number one, the song she’d been told would make her feel better, the one that would help her channel the anger. The song stayed on repeat for over a week.
As the words poured from her mouth, Tina couldn’t hide the butterflies that were circulating in her stomach. She was terrified, she didn’t know Mike that well, she didn’t know if she could trust him, and for her, in that moment, the song felt soul exposing. By the end of it, however, she had become more at ease with him, and she found that it wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be to look him in the eye. She got into it, actually, and everything she’d been feeling for the past week came spilling out, and she couldn’t stop it. Biting her lip when she finished, her eyes immediately broke their hold on his, but looked back, shyly after a taking a moment. He was still looking at her, and intensely so. What that look meant, she didn’t know, but it made her nervous. “Um…” She cleared her throat and looked down, realizing he was still holding her hand, and what’s more, while she knew she should let go, she found that she didn’t want to. “So…” Like ripping off a band aid, she pulled her hand back quickly, under the guise of scratching the back of her head as she looked back up at him. “Do you know what song you want to sing?”
“Oh. Yeah, a song.” He sounded about as nervous as she felt, maybe she was making him uncomfortable, maybe she shouldn’t have sung that song, maybe she should kept her emotion more in check, regardless of their assignment. “I’ve been thinking about that all day. I uh, I think I have one.” He let out a small chuckle of laughter, and rubbed the back of his neck. “I, yeah…So I’ll just? Ok.” Her lips curved up into a small smile while he seemed to have a quick conversation with himself. She thought it was cute, if she was being honest. Oh god, did she really just think that? What the hell was going on with her? “I don’t know if I remember it all, but uh are you ready?”
“What? Oh” She realized her mind was wondering and snapped out of it, giving him a quick nod and reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m ready, go for it.”
He nodded, and she watched, giving him the same attention he had given her. “I see the way he treats you, I feel the tears you cried, and it makes me sad, and it makes me mad. There's nothing I can do baby, cause your lover is my best friend, and I guess that's where they story ends.” Right away, her mind started turning. Why did he pick this song? It sounded familiar, she was sure she heard it before, but she couldn’t place it, and she definitely hadn’t known the lyrics before now. “So I've gotta try to keep it inside, you will never be, never be mine. But if I was the one who was loving you, baby, the only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy.” Had she been looking at him the way he was looking at her right now when she sang? “And if I was by your side, you'll never know one lonely night. And if it was my arms you were running to, I'd give you love in these arms of mine. If I was the one in your life.” It felt like he was actually singing it to her. That’s what he was supposed to do though, right? Maybe he was just better than anyone knew, after all, she hadn’t heard him sing on his own before. “If I could have just one wish, I'd wish that you were mine. I would hold you near, kiss away those tears. I'd be so good to you baby.” Suddenly, it clicked. What was she thinking? He was singing this about Brittany, of course. ‘He’ in the context of the song, meant Santana. “You're the one I want next to me, but I guess that's just not meant to be. He's there in your life, and he's sharing your nights, it'll never be, never be right.” She felt stupid for thinking for even a second that he could be singing it to her, and she also felt…disappointed. She was disappointed that he wasn’t singing it to her. “If I was the one who was loving you, baby, the only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy. And if I was by your side, you'll never know one lonely night. And if it was my arms you were running to, I'd give you love in these arms of mine.” Why did she want him to be talking about her? Where did this even come from? Maybe it was the compassion he seemed to show her this past week, while she was catching other people staring point blank, he was offering understanding smiles. Maybe it had to do with the way he was looking at her just then, while she sang her song. Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to let go of his hand…maybe she liked him. Her mind was going a mile a minute, and the words started to become a blur. “If I was the one in your life.”
The room grew silent, and it was only then that she realized he was finished, and that she was still staring at him, and he was staring back. There was something about the look in his eyes that she could figure out. Absentmindedly, she licked her lips, then saw him do the same. Was it hot? It felt like it was getting really hot in there, or maybe that was just her. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Suddenly, without warning, she jumped up from where she sat on the floor. “I uh,” She fumbled around for her bag quickly. “You should, you know,” She was flustered, very flustered. “let Brittany know how you feel.” She sputtered the words out quickly, without really thinking about it.
“What?” She caught a quick glimpse of his expression, he looked confused, maybe a little disappointed himself. “Yeah, yeah I guess I should just be honest.” Was he just playing along? Or was she right? She didn’t want to find out.
“I should go, my mom’s probably wondering where I am.” Finally, she managed to locate her bag, and swung it over her shoulder.
“I’ll give you a ride.” He sounded hopeful as he pulled himself to his feet.
“No, that’s ok, I’ll walk, it’s not far!” She was already halfway out the door when she called out to him. Hurrying down the front steps and out to the sidewalk, she moved with a quick pace, and it was only after she’d rounded the corner and sure she was out of sight, that she burst into tears. This was confusion on top of confusion. How had her life become so complicated so fast? It used to be so simple, zero mess, and now? Well now, she didn’t know what she was even thinking anymore.
When Mr. Schue asked Tina who she’d be performing with, she could feel her hands shaking, but despite that, she put on the bravest face she could. It wasn’t easy, but she didn’t want the rest of them to see how shaken she’d been, and she tried to ignore the look Artie was giving her. It screamed apologetic, but she couldn’t let it get to her this time, even if it did pull, unfairly, at her heart. Instead, she focused her attention on the back of the room, where Mike was sitting next to Finn, wanting to catch his eye. She didn’t even need to try though, his attention was already on her, which by itself was enough to make her pulse quicken, and if she hadn’t been so desperate in that moment, she would have worried about it. Exchanging glances with him, there was a pleading sort of look in her eyes, one that he seemed to understand. How? She wasn’t sure, but what she did know was that he was nodding at her, a look that obviously told her to do what she needed to, not that she was surprised. Mike had become one of her best friends, and he’d proven, without a doubt, that he had her back. Her eyes then darted back to Artie, just long enough to tell him she was giving in to his request.
Author: alonemirage2see
Pairing: Tina/Mike (mentions of Tina/Artie but not much)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Dream On with references to Ballad
Word Count: 2,758
Disclaimer: Obviously the characters are not mine and I mean no harm. I just have an over active imagination sometimes and the idea of Tina and Mike together is too good to pass up.
Summery: A journey of Tina and Mike's inner thoughts during the last 5 minutes or so of Dream On.
A/N: I started this about 4 months ago, and finally managed to finish it. It sticks very closely to the events of the episodes, but is slightly A/U in the sense that I filled in some of the blanks in events and things we didn't see. Also, please don't judge me by the cheese factor of some of it. Sometimes I can't help myself. I LOVE CHEESE (this is why I'm not a vegan)
Part 1 - Mike
Part 3 - Mike
Part 4 - Tina
Tina tried to put on a brave face while Artie broke the news to her that he wasn’t going to do the dance they’d been working on. She couldn’t understand why he thought he had to quit, she didn’t care about his wheelchair, she never had, but it was bothering him. All her efforts to fake a smile were failing her, and at her best, she knew she was still unconvincing. It was all she could do not to cry though, so really, she wasn’t surprised. There was a guilt that tugged at her about the whole ordeal, and it wasn’t helping her current mood. Had she done something wrong? Did she build his hopes up too much? Was it wrong to even say anything in the first place? She hadn’t meant to cause any harm, she only wanted to help. She wanted Artie to feel like he could do what he’d always dreamed of, she wanted to help him feel better about it, wanted to give him hope. He sounded upset now though, that was definitely not her goal, and she couldn’t help but feel like she had messed up again. Lately, it felt like she couldn’t do anything right, and sometimes it left her wondering how much he really did care about her. She knew he did, but it was hard to believe when he made her feel like she needed to change. Deep down, she knew it wasn’t that simple, and those were the times when Mercedes would remind her that “he’s just bein’ a dumb teenage boy,” but Tina often suspected those words were just to make her feel better. She loved Artie, and no matter what, she knew there’d always be a place for him in her heart, but lately she didn’t know if it was worth it. She could handle a relationship that wasn’t exactly 50/50, but she couldn’t deal with one that was 90/10, let alone one that was completely one sided, and sometimes…a lot of the time, with Artie, that was exactly what it felt like.
Taking her seat along with everyone else, Tina couldn’t help but watch Artie out of the corner of her eye while Mr. Schuester was talking to them. It wasn’t as though her mind was paying any attention anyway, so what difference did it make if her eyes were or not? Everything he was saying glossed right over her. She picked out a choice word here or there, but that was about it. The point of anything he was trying to say was completely lost on her, because all she could think about was Artie and what had just happened out in the hall. She was supposed to get up and perform in a minute, without her dance partner. What was she going to do? Dance with someone else. That was the option he gave her. It wasn’t how she wanted this to go, the point of it all was for him to dance. She was doing it for him, first and foremost. Somewhere along the way though, it became something she wanted to do for herself as well, but was that really so bad? She tossed the options around in her head, and finally came to a conclusion, if that was how he wanted it to be, her dancing with someone else, then that’s what was going to happen. She didn’t know if he meant it or not, but regardless, she was going to do it. She wanted everyone to see what she’d been working on.
There was a tugging feeling in her gut when she got called up to face everyone. She knew what she wanted to do, she knew exactly who she wanted dancing with her, and in the front of her mind, she had rationalized it easily. She hadn’t known what she was getting into, choreographing a dance routine, it wasn’t exactly her specialty, so she asked Mike if he would help her come up with something. At first, she wasn’t sure if he really wanted to, he had seemed surprised when she asked, and was acting strange. (Then again, Mike acting strange around her had grown to be a normal thing, ironically enough.) Ultimately though, he agreed to it, and the couple days they spent together figuring it out had been fun. It was a lot of fun, actually, and there was a point when it might have been too much fun. In the back of her mind, she knew that was the real reason she wanted to pick him, and it scared her. It scared her, how he made her smile, but in a good way, which at the same time was bad. Talk about confusing. She had a boyfriend, she wasn’t supposed to think about other guys like that, especially when it wasn’t the first time he scared her that way.
When she drew his name as a ballad partner, Tina didn’t know what to expect. Mike Chang, she was supposed sing a ballad to football player Mike? They had nothing in common, there was no way he’d ever understand her, and there was no way she was going to understand him. They were from two different worlds; this was a disaster waiting to happen. When they hung back after class to make plans, it was the first time he acted weird around her, but she had just assumed it was because he was disappointed with who he ended up with. He wanted Brittany, she thought. It always seemed to her that he liked her, but he lacked the equipment she desired. By the time they had decided to meet up after school, he seemed to cheer up a little, so she hoped that maybe his earlier weirdness was a result of Brittany and Santana’s victory dance at being paired up, and maybe that meant this adventure wasn’t going to be total hell.
It was weird to her, being at Mike’s place. She wasn’t exactly the type who always went over to other peoples’ houses. She’d been over to Artie’s several times, almost all the time, and she’d been to Kurt’s place, and Mercedes’ house too, but that was about it. She wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. Being at someone else’s house was awkward enough as it was, but now she was in the house of someone who there was a 50% chance didn’t want her there to begin with. It hadn’t helped matters any that she was in a mood, and had been for a couple weeks. After Artie got mad at her, she hadn’t been herself, and she could feel people talking behind her back. At first, she thought maybe it was all in her head, but then Mercedes greeted her one morning in a way that could be described as anything but subtle. “Giiiiirl, who fakes a stutter?” Her stomach sank, if Mercedes knew, there was no doubt that the entire club, at the very least, knew. The surefire way to let the whole school know something was to tell Mercedes, everyone knew that. Maybe Artie told her to teach Tina a lesson. That was what she thought anyway.
To Tina’s surprise, her friend was a lot better about it than Artie had been. After a day of pampering themselves and shopping at the mall while they talked, she’d been feeling better. Well, about everyone knowing her secret at least. Artie on the other hand? Well that was a different story. Mercedes knew how Tina felt about him, she was the only one she ever told, so it was needless to say that Mercedes knew how heartbroken Tina was over it, and given her own messy situation with Kurt earlier that year, she understood all too well. When they left the mall, she handed Tina a small bag from the music store, and when she looked inside, she saw Beyonce’s “I Am…Sasha Fierce” CD. When she got home, she listened to track number one, the song she’d been told would make her feel better, the one that would help her channel the anger. The song stayed on repeat for over a week.
As the words poured from her mouth, Tina couldn’t hide the butterflies that were circulating in her stomach. She was terrified, she didn’t know Mike that well, she didn’t know if she could trust him, and for her, in that moment, the song felt soul exposing. By the end of it, however, she had become more at ease with him, and she found that it wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be to look him in the eye. She got into it, actually, and everything she’d been feeling for the past week came spilling out, and she couldn’t stop it. Biting her lip when she finished, her eyes immediately broke their hold on his, but looked back, shyly after a taking a moment. He was still looking at her, and intensely so. What that look meant, she didn’t know, but it made her nervous. “Um…” She cleared her throat and looked down, realizing he was still holding her hand, and what’s more, while she knew she should let go, she found that she didn’t want to. “So…” Like ripping off a band aid, she pulled her hand back quickly, under the guise of scratching the back of her head as she looked back up at him. “Do you know what song you want to sing?”
“Oh. Yeah, a song.” He sounded about as nervous as she felt, maybe she was making him uncomfortable, maybe she shouldn’t have sung that song, maybe she should kept her emotion more in check, regardless of their assignment. “I’ve been thinking about that all day. I uh, I think I have one.” He let out a small chuckle of laughter, and rubbed the back of his neck. “I, yeah…So I’ll just? Ok.” Her lips curved up into a small smile while he seemed to have a quick conversation with himself. She thought it was cute, if she was being honest. Oh god, did she really just think that? What the hell was going on with her? “I don’t know if I remember it all, but uh are you ready?”
“What? Oh” She realized her mind was wondering and snapped out of it, giving him a quick nod and reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m ready, go for it.”
He nodded, and she watched, giving him the same attention he had given her. “I see the way he treats you, I feel the tears you cried, and it makes me sad, and it makes me mad. There's nothing I can do baby, cause your lover is my best friend, and I guess that's where they story ends.” Right away, her mind started turning. Why did he pick this song? It sounded familiar, she was sure she heard it before, but she couldn’t place it, and she definitely hadn’t known the lyrics before now. “So I've gotta try to keep it inside, you will never be, never be mine. But if I was the one who was loving you, baby, the only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy.” Had she been looking at him the way he was looking at her right now when she sang? “And if I was by your side, you'll never know one lonely night. And if it was my arms you were running to, I'd give you love in these arms of mine. If I was the one in your life.” It felt like he was actually singing it to her. That’s what he was supposed to do though, right? Maybe he was just better than anyone knew, after all, she hadn’t heard him sing on his own before. “If I could have just one wish, I'd wish that you were mine. I would hold you near, kiss away those tears. I'd be so good to you baby.” Suddenly, it clicked. What was she thinking? He was singing this about Brittany, of course. ‘He’ in the context of the song, meant Santana. “You're the one I want next to me, but I guess that's just not meant to be. He's there in your life, and he's sharing your nights, it'll never be, never be right.” She felt stupid for thinking for even a second that he could be singing it to her, and she also felt…disappointed. She was disappointed that he wasn’t singing it to her. “If I was the one who was loving you, baby, the only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy. And if I was by your side, you'll never know one lonely night. And if it was my arms you were running to, I'd give you love in these arms of mine.” Why did she want him to be talking about her? Where did this even come from? Maybe it was the compassion he seemed to show her this past week, while she was catching other people staring point blank, he was offering understanding smiles. Maybe it had to do with the way he was looking at her just then, while she sang her song. Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to let go of his hand…maybe she liked him. Her mind was going a mile a minute, and the words started to become a blur. “If I was the one in your life.”
The room grew silent, and it was only then that she realized he was finished, and that she was still staring at him, and he was staring back. There was something about the look in his eyes that she could figure out. Absentmindedly, she licked her lips, then saw him do the same. Was it hot? It felt like it was getting really hot in there, or maybe that was just her. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Suddenly, without warning, she jumped up from where she sat on the floor. “I uh,” She fumbled around for her bag quickly. “You should, you know,” She was flustered, very flustered. “let Brittany know how you feel.” She sputtered the words out quickly, without really thinking about it.
“What?” She caught a quick glimpse of his expression, he looked confused, maybe a little disappointed himself. “Yeah, yeah I guess I should just be honest.” Was he just playing along? Or was she right? She didn’t want to find out.
“I should go, my mom’s probably wondering where I am.” Finally, she managed to locate her bag, and swung it over her shoulder.
“I’ll give you a ride.” He sounded hopeful as he pulled himself to his feet.
“No, that’s ok, I’ll walk, it’s not far!” She was already halfway out the door when she called out to him. Hurrying down the front steps and out to the sidewalk, she moved with a quick pace, and it was only after she’d rounded the corner and sure she was out of sight, that she burst into tears. This was confusion on top of confusion. How had her life become so complicated so fast? It used to be so simple, zero mess, and now? Well now, she didn’t know what she was even thinking anymore.
When Mr. Schue asked Tina who she’d be performing with, she could feel her hands shaking, but despite that, she put on the bravest face she could. It wasn’t easy, but she didn’t want the rest of them to see how shaken she’d been, and she tried to ignore the look Artie was giving her. It screamed apologetic, but she couldn’t let it get to her this time, even if it did pull, unfairly, at her heart. Instead, she focused her attention on the back of the room, where Mike was sitting next to Finn, wanting to catch his eye. She didn’t even need to try though, his attention was already on her, which by itself was enough to make her pulse quicken, and if she hadn’t been so desperate in that moment, she would have worried about it. Exchanging glances with him, there was a pleading sort of look in her eyes, one that he seemed to understand. How? She wasn’t sure, but what she did know was that he was nodding at her, a look that obviously told her to do what she needed to, not that she was surprised. Mike had become one of her best friends, and he’d proven, without a doubt, that he had her back. Her eyes then darted back to Artie, just long enough to tell him she was giving in to his request.