what am i?
What am i? Less than human being because of what i believe? All my friends are going to hell, well most of them anyways. Im a lost sheep trying to find a shepard, they claim its the "truth" but dont they realize "truth" is an opinion? Who knows what "truth" is. If "truth" were that easy to find...should it be that easy to find. I thought "truth" came from suffering and trials not believing in something. If we all believed in the same way of doing things life would be pretty boring. We must not curse in the presence of god but wouldnt he already know how you feel even if you dont say it? Its like you try to hide what you want to say to god. I thought you could bare your soul even if it was sacreligous in the face of god because hes our lord and willing to forgive us. I must live in the presence of god. Wow i need people to tell me how to believe i thought only god could do that. I know what ive been through and so does god and he understands why i am the way i am you dont need to understand, by all reasoning i should hate god right now but i dont. They say they walk in "truth", they need to wake up. Wonder why i walk. I walk everday to school i see the same people doing the same thing, believing the same way, i see a sun rise every morning when people are listening to their radios eating a sausage mc muffin, shaving with the hearter turned up while trying to get to work on time. I dont want to be like that oblivous to the whole world outside my life. Yes when i go to bed at night all alone dark under my covers im afraid for my soul, i wonder if what im doing is right if beleiving the way i do is right does god exist am i doing what i should be and yes i wonder if hers is the right way and im so wrong and im afraid but i dont change my mind fear doesnt make me change my mind. I dont want to accept a "truth" because im afraid to lose my eternal soul. Her moms right I dont accept their "truth" and if it means losing something like her to it then i guess i have to. I just cant get past the fact that..." i know the truth and everyone elses beliefs are wrong that im right over everyone else and still holding a strait face saying that i respect and will be their friend". You cant do that mock someones whole beliefs and still go up to them like you respect them. If i die tommorow atleast i was trying to find the "truth"