slowly erasing you...
my love, nothing was ever real with us. i convinced myself so hard, cuz i wanted to believe so bad.. now my eyes are wide open and those gates are closed. darling, i could have died for your words.. now i just feel dead cause i believed them. and remembering us, hurts so much- because i couldn't see anything past your gorgeous eyes. i never noticed that yellow part of them.. that lying decieving part.. i so lost in what i thought they were. i just was so blinded by what i wanted us to be, i couldn't accept what we actually were. now i can see it all.. now that i'm strong enough to walk away from you.. and you're already gone. with nothing to walk away from, i feel so weak. like everything i gained was just no use if i can't throw it in your face. god, i thought i'd never be able to live a day without you.. cuz everytime i started for forget you, you'd call, and we'd become friends again, and get back together. and i tried harder every time. it wasn't worth it. nothing is worth what you put me through. i think about all the excuses, and all the lies, and everything so fake.. and what i have now- and it's so real, it almost makes me want to cry. i feel like i don't deserve it, but i deserve all of it at the same time. everything is so perfect.. then you came back.. with that predictable phone call. only this time, i felt nothing.. and when you asked "what's so special about this guy?" ..all i said was "..he's everything you're not."
the last 5 years were just pretend..
and you'll go through your life pretending. no doubt you'll forget all about me. and continue your pathetic life, getting by on lies and cheating.. but me, i'll never forget you.. you were the biggest mistake that i could never forget to never make again....
scared to leave my past.. afraid to forget you.. but strong enough to walk away from it all