brought this back from the grave.
“I want to sleep next to you and do your shopping and carry your bags and tell you how much I love being with you and I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes and tell you I like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and massage your neck and kiss your feet and hold your hand and go for a meal and not mind when you eat my food and talk about your day and type your letters and carry your boxes and laugh at your paranoia and give you tapes you don’t listen to and watch great films and watch terrible films and complains about the radio and get up to fetch you coffee and bagels and Danish and go to Florence and drink coffee at midnight and have you steel my cigarettes and never be able to find a match and tell you the TV program I saw the night before and take you to the eye hospital and want you in the morning but let you sleep for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair and worry when you’re late and be amazed when you’re early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance ‘till I’m black and be sorry when I’m wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I had known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when your angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and tell you you’re gorgeous and hug you when you’re anxious and hold you when your hurt and want you when I smell you and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don’t and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand why you think I’m rejecting you when I’m not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I’d ever reject you and wonder who you are but accept you anyway and want to buy you a kitten I’d get jealous of because it would get more attention then me and keep you in bed when you have to go and think I’m losing myself but I know I’m safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don’t deserve any less and try to get closer to you because it’s beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for YOU.”