The wind, her only friend..

[alone_she_crys]

Hm.. well im getting used to the fact that everyone including andrea and all my friends are always against me somehow. and im really getting use to the fact that i always get blamed for everything. *sigh* you know.. its just sad that noone understands. It feels like im lying helplessly on the ground and everytime i attempt to get back up someone just pushes me back down. Ah fuck it... its more complicated than that. I just wish everyone would leave me the fuck alone for once, so i can actually get some shit done without them on my fucking back. If i wanted to quit smoking or w/e else i do.. i wouldnt do it for anyone.. the only person i'd do it for is me. Not trying to sound selfish but still. Id actually probably accomplish something by now if everyone wasnt always pressuring me and bugging the hell out of me.. erg.

Yea and plus.. i decided im finding new friends. fuck all my old ones. I've never done shit to them, talked bad about them. I was always there, i was always a good fucking friend. But why.. tell why they turn against me too? hah.. when its not even there bussiness that there getting into and fucking up. erg.

But i dont care, whatever i have to erase outta my life to make me happy and worthy again , then trust me i will. I dont care anymore

ugh.. so anyway. Andreas coming over today. Im alittle afraid because shes not too happy with me right now, and i know i'll be regreting her being over because she'll be in her mood swings, or beating me up. great.

Guess im off to take a shower. Oh and im probably not going to write in this anymore. I think i just want my own personal journal of some sort. k well bye