forever past so quickly
i was looking back at my yearbook just now. and its amazing how things change. especially since theyve changed so much in what seemed like so little time. its been almost two years. i was reading what _____ wrote. it made me miss so much. i still wonder why we arent together. i dont care who sees this. maybe i do miss her. so what.
dated june 12th 2002
"id do anything 4 you ronald!!"
"im alwaize gonna love you!"
"if we ever seperate, your still gonna be mah mehb cuz i <3 you so much! ill never love eni/wun else tha way i <3 you!"
"you mean everything to me"
"dun find some1 new... you can do things with them... i dun care...just dun <3! your myne!"
love always
________
so theres the shortened version for you. i dont care how you said it. the fact that you did meant a lot. at least to me it did. love always huh? its funny how you told me not to find anyone new... when you did. i know its foolish to think that you meant that stuff. but it hurts because now i regret the fact that i didnt give you a second chance. its basically my fault and thats why im "alone and cold" now you are happy with him and i cant say im glad. but i guess im happy for you. youve been able to move on. as much as my pride wants me to say that i have. and as much as i wish i did. i dont think i ever fully recovered. you were my first, my only, and when i said always and forever, no matter how corny it sounded... maybe i shouldve stuck with that. but i didnt and all im left with are memories and the dreaded "couldve beens" so this entry is dedicated to you julie ann gamboa. yeah thats right i said it. i dont care if i get drama for it. i dont care if anyone reads this. your birthday is coming up on tuesday. consider this my gift to you. sure its not a great gift, and i bet you will never see this but at least in a way ive gotten it off my chest. if you do read this. i hope you dont hate me for bringing back all these bad memories you have of me. i hope that im not being conceited when i say that we had some good times. and i hope you think of those if you ever do think of me. sure i wasnt the best boyfriend in the world, i wish i couldve been. if i could change anything i wouldnt. you made me the person i am today. and for that i thank you. if i had a second chance then id take it in a heart beat. but dont get me wrong, its not something im pursuing. i dont wanna get in the way of you and him. i doubt that i could anyway. i just want you to be happy no matter how cliche that is. this is probably the longest entry ive ever written. i could keep going. but i dont wanna be repetitive. the end.
i love you
dated june 12th 2002
"id do anything 4 you ronald!!"
"im alwaize gonna love you!"
"if we ever seperate, your still gonna be mah mehb cuz i <3 you so much! ill never love eni/wun else tha way i <3 you!"
"you mean everything to me"
"dun find some1 new... you can do things with them... i dun care...just dun <3! your myne!"
love always
________
so theres the shortened version for you. i dont care how you said it. the fact that you did meant a lot. at least to me it did. love always huh? its funny how you told me not to find anyone new... when you did. i know its foolish to think that you meant that stuff. but it hurts because now i regret the fact that i didnt give you a second chance. its basically my fault and thats why im "alone and cold" now you are happy with him and i cant say im glad. but i guess im happy for you. youve been able to move on. as much as my pride wants me to say that i have. and as much as i wish i did. i dont think i ever fully recovered. you were my first, my only, and when i said always and forever, no matter how corny it sounded... maybe i shouldve stuck with that. but i didnt and all im left with are memories and the dreaded "couldve beens" so this entry is dedicated to you julie ann gamboa. yeah thats right i said it. i dont care if i get drama for it. i dont care if anyone reads this. your birthday is coming up on tuesday. consider this my gift to you. sure its not a great gift, and i bet you will never see this but at least in a way ive gotten it off my chest. if you do read this. i hope you dont hate me for bringing back all these bad memories you have of me. i hope that im not being conceited when i say that we had some good times. and i hope you think of those if you ever do think of me. sure i wasnt the best boyfriend in the world, i wish i couldve been. if i could change anything i wouldnt. you made me the person i am today. and for that i thank you. if i had a second chance then id take it in a heart beat. but dont get me wrong, its not something im pursuing. i dont wanna get in the way of you and him. i doubt that i could anyway. i just want you to be happy no matter how cliche that is. this is probably the longest entry ive ever written. i could keep going. but i dont wanna be repetitive. the end.
i love you