too stubborn to play the game
I once got a horrible grade on a standardized test for my essay...and this is after aquiring a BA in Creative Writing...guess that degree did me no good. I got a bad grade because I refused to find a way to make the topic work for me. The topic was something like: Name something you regret from your past and what you learned from it.
I'm sure the question was meant to be benign but i read it before doing the English and Math portion, like any good standardized test prep teaches you to, so I had time to think....no, stew...over the topic. One of my main philosophies in life is to live with no regrets. Regrets are pointless...I believe you should make conscious decisions and live with the consequences. Don't spend time thinking of could haves and should haves, it's a waste of time. I literally could not think of one single regret. "So," I hear you say, "make something up...they don't know you."
And I could have; I could have looked at it like a writing prompt and created a lie, a fiction if you will, and embellished it until I believed it myself. A little creative writing and a great score on an essay that was probably only looking for basic grammar and fulfilling the checkboxes of: understood topic, addressed topic appropriately, summarized essay. But instead I spent the essay explaining why I had no regrets. And why did I not play the game and make something up? Because I'm stubborn. So I passed the essay but not with full marks like I have come to expect from my experience with standardized tests.
I am having a similar reaction to this week's topic. I have wrestled with finding a way into the topic...fiction? addressing something specific in my life? a poem?
But really, I'm being stubborn. I don't need struggle to feel alive. I live in a state of appreciation (not every day, I'm not that evolved), I realize how short life is, I love what I do, I have people to shower my love on. I don't need struggle. So, Universe, if you're listening...I'm good. Thanks for sending me struggles but you can send them on to others who may need it to feel alive.
I'm sure the question was meant to be benign but i read it before doing the English and Math portion, like any good standardized test prep teaches you to, so I had time to think....no, stew...over the topic. One of my main philosophies in life is to live with no regrets. Regrets are pointless...I believe you should make conscious decisions and live with the consequences. Don't spend time thinking of could haves and should haves, it's a waste of time. I literally could not think of one single regret. "So," I hear you say, "make something up...they don't know you."
And I could have; I could have looked at it like a writing prompt and created a lie, a fiction if you will, and embellished it until I believed it myself. A little creative writing and a great score on an essay that was probably only looking for basic grammar and fulfilling the checkboxes of: understood topic, addressed topic appropriately, summarized essay. But instead I spent the essay explaining why I had no regrets. And why did I not play the game and make something up? Because I'm stubborn. So I passed the essay but not with full marks like I have come to expect from my experience with standardized tests.
I am having a similar reaction to this week's topic. I have wrestled with finding a way into the topic...fiction? addressing something specific in my life? a poem?
But really, I'm being stubborn. I don't need struggle to feel alive. I live in a state of appreciation (not every day, I'm not that evolved), I realize how short life is, I love what I do, I have people to shower my love on. I don't need struggle. So, Universe, if you're listening...I'm good. Thanks for sending me struggles but you can send them on to others who may need it to feel alive.