(no subject)
I am so very, very lost. Every time I try to stand on my convictions they fall out from under me. I don't know that what I want is right anymore. It's true that I'm not happy here, but am I really happy there? I feel like I haven't been myself, I haven't been living, and I'm not sure how to fix it. I'm going through the motions. Making the promises. Being moved rather than controlling my own actions.
Why am I so dead set that I am always right? I'm 20. I won't try to pretend I know all the subtleties of life, but I'm not a child anymore. I can make my own decisions. I can live with the consequences.
So how did I get into a position where I have to choose? How did I land in this mess, where either way, someone loses?
Who am I going to hurt? The people who I have spent my whole life with, or the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? And do I have to choose right now?
I feel like it is much too soon. Much sooner than it was yesterday.
Fancy that.
Why am I so dead set that I am always right? I'm 20. I won't try to pretend I know all the subtleties of life, but I'm not a child anymore. I can make my own decisions. I can live with the consequences.
So how did I get into a position where I have to choose? How did I land in this mess, where either way, someone loses?
Who am I going to hurt? The people who I have spent my whole life with, or the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? And do I have to choose right now?
I feel like it is much too soon. Much sooner than it was yesterday.
Fancy that.