Love, Inception fic, Arthur/Everyone, PG-13
I was supposed to be writing my Losers prompt fic, but then I saw a prompt in the Inception Kink meme, and well, this happened. I can only apologise.
Arthur blinks, staring incredulously round the circle of his teammates.
“I'm sorry,” he blurts eventually. “I must have misheard you. Would you mind repeating yourselves?”
“WE'RE IN LOVE WITH YOU!” the rest of his team shout in unison, and Arthur sighs.
“Yes, that was what I thought I heard. Alright, sit down, all of you.” He waits while they settle themselves onto the deckchairs, and smiles reassuringly at them. “Okay, first of all, none of you are in love with me.” He raises a hand to silence the immediate protests. “No, pay attention. Eames, I'll start with you, you're easiest. You like me because I'm not charmed by you. So, go out and flirt with a bunch of women. Whoever turns you down, you marry them.”
Eames frowns. “Can I sleep with some of the ones that don't reject me, too?” he asks. Arthur nods.
“As many as possible.”
“Fair enough.”
The remaining extractors watch as the forger bounces out of the warehouse, then turn their attention back to Arthur.
“Ariadne, you're also not in love with me. You just find me less creepy and morally lacking than the rest of them. Go back to college, find a nice architect who doesn't steal stuff.” He pats her hand gently, and moves swiftly on.
“Saito, you have enough mistresses. Do you really want to get another love pad?” The businessman thinks for a moment, then bows his head regally and leaves.
Arthur turns to the remaining two suitors, who look back at him with hopeful expressions.
“Yusuf,” he starts “You're very sweet, but you're way too attached to your cat, and I love my suits too much to expose them to animal dander... maybe you could find someone who also has a cat?” he suggests as gently as possible. Yusuf looks as though he can't comprehend anyone not loving cats, but nods ad leaves, already looking through his phone contacts. In a way, Arthur is offended at how easily he is replaced.
“Cobb... in a way, you're actually the easiest one to deal with.” Arthur sits next to his friend, and holds his shoulders. “Now pay attention Cobb, because what I'm going to tell you will stop you from making a fool of yourself later... You're straight.”
Cobb leans back, a dawning expression of realisation on his face.
“That actually explains a lot.” He says. “Thanks!”
Arthur can only flop back on the chair as the extractor leaves, and heaves a sigh. Behind him, he hears footsteps, and grins when he turns around.
“Are you going to talk me out of loving you as well?” Fischer asks.
“Nope” Arthur smiles. “I'm going to let you get me drunk, then we're going to have sex.” Laughing, the two leave the warehouse, and Arthur can't help but hope they get so drunk that he forgets this afternoon. Fun and talented his team may be, but they're also all nuts.
Arthur blinks, staring incredulously round the circle of his teammates.
“I'm sorry,” he blurts eventually. “I must have misheard you. Would you mind repeating yourselves?”
“WE'RE IN LOVE WITH YOU!” the rest of his team shout in unison, and Arthur sighs.
“Yes, that was what I thought I heard. Alright, sit down, all of you.” He waits while they settle themselves onto the deckchairs, and smiles reassuringly at them. “Okay, first of all, none of you are in love with me.” He raises a hand to silence the immediate protests. “No, pay attention. Eames, I'll start with you, you're easiest. You like me because I'm not charmed by you. So, go out and flirt with a bunch of women. Whoever turns you down, you marry them.”
Eames frowns. “Can I sleep with some of the ones that don't reject me, too?” he asks. Arthur nods.
“As many as possible.”
“Fair enough.”
The remaining extractors watch as the forger bounces out of the warehouse, then turn their attention back to Arthur.
“Ariadne, you're also not in love with me. You just find me less creepy and morally lacking than the rest of them. Go back to college, find a nice architect who doesn't steal stuff.” He pats her hand gently, and moves swiftly on.
“Saito, you have enough mistresses. Do you really want to get another love pad?” The businessman thinks for a moment, then bows his head regally and leaves.
Arthur turns to the remaining two suitors, who look back at him with hopeful expressions.
“Yusuf,” he starts “You're very sweet, but you're way too attached to your cat, and I love my suits too much to expose them to animal dander... maybe you could find someone who also has a cat?” he suggests as gently as possible. Yusuf looks as though he can't comprehend anyone not loving cats, but nods ad leaves, already looking through his phone contacts. In a way, Arthur is offended at how easily he is replaced.
“Cobb... in a way, you're actually the easiest one to deal with.” Arthur sits next to his friend, and holds his shoulders. “Now pay attention Cobb, because what I'm going to tell you will stop you from making a fool of yourself later... You're straight.”
Cobb leans back, a dawning expression of realisation on his face.
“That actually explains a lot.” He says. “Thanks!”
Arthur can only flop back on the chair as the extractor leaves, and heaves a sigh. Behind him, he hears footsteps, and grins when he turns around.
“Are you going to talk me out of loving you as well?” Fischer asks.
“Nope” Arthur smiles. “I'm going to let you get me drunk, then we're going to have sex.” Laughing, the two leave the warehouse, and Arthur can't help but hope they get so drunk that he forgets this afternoon. Fun and talented his team may be, but they're also all nuts.