Conversations with Nemo
The interconnectivity of the internet never ceases to amuse me. When I first tapped into the internet, I never would have imagined what is now a common occurrence. [See In the Beginning was the Command Line by Neal Stephenson.]
nemo_49 and I are having a conversation. Part of our conversation is on the C/A-ToT list. Another part of our conversation is on the HML list. So people on either list get to see part of the conversation. One needs to be on both lists to see the entire conversation. None of the conversation is here on LJ.
Exactly why this amuses me may be lost on younger readers. My first word processor was based upon the Edlin line editor on IBM DOS 1.0.
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Your Zen tale got me thinking.
When I first began reading out on Jackson Square, my feelings got bruised many times a week by passersby making rude comments about me and what I do for a living.
I developed a thicker skin. Reading Richard Feynman's biography, "What do you care what other people think" helped me a lot. I still get derisive remarks, but I just don't give a shit unless they become violent towards me.
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Getting over the hump of caring about what other people think was a huge stumbling block for me. Once it was gone, life got a lot easier.
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When I look around at my hermit pit (my home) I think "My mother would be both horrified and ashamed to see my home", then I laugh. It took me more than 20 years to stop feeling guilty because I am not a neat orderly middle class guy like my Mom wanted me to be. My landlord is horrified, but my landlady loves me, so I do not get evicted. Life is good.
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Suzi is an excellent example of a Madwand -- someone who taps into magickal essence with no benefit of teachers or structures of a magickal order. People within the more traditional Orders I have known tended to sneer at people who claimed self-initiation. They claimed self-initiation was all self-delusion. The ONLY real initiation arose from formal initiations (with oaths of secrecy, formal teachings from dead masters, paying $$ to organizations to interpret the dead masters for one, etc.)
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I know a young Madwand like that. Blazingly intelligent, gifted equally in mysticism and science, and one of the most impressive natural talents I have ever met. Luck follows the boy around like a lap dog, and he can manifest what he needs like no one I have ever seen. Yet, despite all that, he often tosses away what he has manifested in fits of self righteousness and melancholy, and winds up sleeping in parks, broke and wallowing in self pity over the latest love lorn quest he is on. Watching him oscillate between powerful Madwand and miserable kid is fascinating and sad all at once. Waking up as a Madwand can be very hard to deal with.
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For sure!
I am very glad that I got into magickal discipline and ritual over a decade prior to my start of psychedelics.