How's it gunna be when you don't know me anymore?...
Well it's my second time updating today (besides the song I put in before)...
I'm extremely depressed right now. More depressed than I have been feeling, and I have been feeling pretty damn depressed. I dunno when I got home I just started thinking and I couldnt stop.
I hate everyting about myself
I am not worth anything
No one will ever love me
I just have to deal with it
I need someone to prove me wrong,
But I however know that all my feelings are right
They also will not stop
I know that I dont deserve anything
My life is a joke and nothing will ever go my way
I will never be happy, no matter what
I wish I could find one ounce of happiness
Instead I walk around like a big phony pretneding to be
Every time things get better, I recieve another smack in the face
Nobody will ever know the extent of my pain
She will never know how much she has hurt me
I'll never be able to forgive her for ruining my life
I am losing my favorite person in the whole world
And even worse is that I can't do anything at all about it
No one will be able to make him come back
And I wont even get to say goodbye
This isnt how I pictured things turning out
She wasnt supposed to fail, again
There is no way she will ever know the damage she has caused
I cover up how I feel about it all the time
I need to tell her that it's not okay
I always tell myself that we're like best friend
But what kind of best friend would do this,
Nevermind a mother...
She is my mother but she is not a mom
She isn't here for me, and I know she never will be
Therefore I shall go my whole life missing her
She doesnt want to change, so she won't.
I will always wonder why I wasnt good enough,
Not even for my own mother
If I wasnt good anough for her
No wonder why nobody else could ever love me
If my own mother doesnt care about me,
How am I supposed to care about myself?
I dont care anymore
Whatever happens, happens
I cant stop it, so I wont even try anymore
I can't stand being inside my own skin
But this is what I'm stuck with
I just want it all to go away
I always wonder why God stuck me with this life
Why doesnt anyone in my family want to stick around?
Why are they all a bunch of screw-ups?
Any why do I allow them to hurt me again and again?
I just dont know what to do anymore
Everything is caving in on me and I cant take it
Please someone, just make it stop,
I'm begging you...
Okay that was officially like the longest fucking poem I have ever written and it's so mixed up and confusing and its a bunch of babble, but I needed to get sooo many things out and I know its not even like a poem but I needed to write something to try to feel a little better. I definitely needed to vent. Well now that I've done that I think I'm gunna go to bed, or wallow... or something...
I'm extremely depressed right now. More depressed than I have been feeling, and I have been feeling pretty damn depressed. I dunno when I got home I just started thinking and I couldnt stop.
I hate everyting about myself
I am not worth anything
No one will ever love me
I just have to deal with it
I need someone to prove me wrong,
But I however know that all my feelings are right
They also will not stop
I know that I dont deserve anything
My life is a joke and nothing will ever go my way
I will never be happy, no matter what
I wish I could find one ounce of happiness
Instead I walk around like a big phony pretneding to be
Every time things get better, I recieve another smack in the face
Nobody will ever know the extent of my pain
She will never know how much she has hurt me
I'll never be able to forgive her for ruining my life
I am losing my favorite person in the whole world
And even worse is that I can't do anything at all about it
No one will be able to make him come back
And I wont even get to say goodbye
This isnt how I pictured things turning out
She wasnt supposed to fail, again
There is no way she will ever know the damage she has caused
I cover up how I feel about it all the time
I need to tell her that it's not okay
I always tell myself that we're like best friend
But what kind of best friend would do this,
Nevermind a mother...
She is my mother but she is not a mom
She isn't here for me, and I know she never will be
Therefore I shall go my whole life missing her
She doesnt want to change, so she won't.
I will always wonder why I wasnt good enough,
Not even for my own mother
If I wasnt good anough for her
No wonder why nobody else could ever love me
If my own mother doesnt care about me,
How am I supposed to care about myself?
I dont care anymore
Whatever happens, happens
I cant stop it, so I wont even try anymore
I can't stand being inside my own skin
But this is what I'm stuck with
I just want it all to go away
I always wonder why God stuck me with this life
Why doesnt anyone in my family want to stick around?
Why are they all a bunch of screw-ups?
Any why do I allow them to hurt me again and again?
I just dont know what to do anymore
Everything is caving in on me and I cant take it
Please someone, just make it stop,
I'm begging you...
Okay that was officially like the longest fucking poem I have ever written and it's so mixed up and confusing and its a bunch of babble, but I needed to get sooo many things out and I know its not even like a poem but I needed to write something to try to feel a little better. I definitely needed to vent. Well now that I've done that I think I'm gunna go to bed, or wallow... or something...