Here's my struggle...
When I heard of Penn State/Sandusky and at least 6 victims of minors being sexually abused, my experience as a past victim roared to the forefront - how evil this guy must be, to harm kids.. to let his inner demons rule him so completely. I don't know the guy or anything about him - and it was easy/quick to label him monster, depraved, inhuman.
When I heard of my childhood sweetie being jailed and serving life for assaulting his daughter, I still felt utter repulsion that such a crime could even be committed, deep sympathy for the victim... and complete bafflement at how the boy I knew could have grown into a person capable of doing such things - to anyone, much less his own daughter. I still see the sweet, green-eyed drummer boy from our 9th grade musical - I have a photo of us together after the show. We were at his drum kit, I was in my costume... big silly grins, me on his knee, happy goofballs who were pretty crazy about each other. He'd walk miles out of his way to walk me home after school... we'd talk on the phone for hours about nothing in particular... just typical 14 year-old sweetheart stuff.
How did Steve go from being this sweet 14 year old boy into a 25-40 year old abuser? I'm really struggling with that. It's not as easy to sling the labels now.
I just hope that the news stories will encourage kids who may be enduring molestations now. It's ok to talk about it. Tell a teacher, call the police... if the first person doesn't help you, find someone else. If that doesn't work, call someone else. Call 9-1-1... You can make it stop - for yourself and likely for others, too. You CAN.
Parents and friends - if you see cases of where an adult takes an especial liking to a child and is doing things that isolate them from others so they can spend time alone together - be wary. Not everyone is perverted - but be diligent and watchful.
I've been praying a lot for Steve. I pray his heart isn't hardened beyond reach. I pray he can be healed and find a way to make the rest of his life worthwhile. I pray his wife and children have been getting the help they need. Mostly I pray that children around the world stop being hurt and can grow up feeling safe, feel comfort, and feel loved.
When I heard of my childhood sweetie being jailed and serving life for assaulting his daughter, I still felt utter repulsion that such a crime could even be committed, deep sympathy for the victim... and complete bafflement at how the boy I knew could have grown into a person capable of doing such things - to anyone, much less his own daughter. I still see the sweet, green-eyed drummer boy from our 9th grade musical - I have a photo of us together after the show. We were at his drum kit, I was in my costume... big silly grins, me on his knee, happy goofballs who were pretty crazy about each other. He'd walk miles out of his way to walk me home after school... we'd talk on the phone for hours about nothing in particular... just typical 14 year-old sweetheart stuff.
How did Steve go from being this sweet 14 year old boy into a 25-40 year old abuser? I'm really struggling with that. It's not as easy to sling the labels now.
I just hope that the news stories will encourage kids who may be enduring molestations now. It's ok to talk about it. Tell a teacher, call the police... if the first person doesn't help you, find someone else. If that doesn't work, call someone else. Call 9-1-1... You can make it stop - for yourself and likely for others, too. You CAN.
Parents and friends - if you see cases of where an adult takes an especial liking to a child and is doing things that isolate them from others so they can spend time alone together - be wary. Not everyone is perverted - but be diligent and watchful.
I've been praying a lot for Steve. I pray his heart isn't hardened beyond reach. I pray he can be healed and find a way to make the rest of his life worthwhile. I pray his wife and children have been getting the help they need. Mostly I pray that children around the world stop being hurt and can grow up feeling safe, feel comfort, and feel loved.