(no subject)
well, i know i haven't posted anything in a while... i guess i'll update everyone cuz even though everyone's home i dont feel like they have any idea what's going on. so...the hot dog thing's going really great. except it's sorta sad that noel's not working with me n mike. we all thought we'd be doing the hot dog stand, but now noel is doing hot dogs and mike and myself are doing ice cream. speaking of which he's not going to be here this weekend so i'll either be alone or with someone i dont know. either way could be fun. trying to get some color whilst i'm there too.
what else...well...brandon's sorta upset me recently... i really want the whole ordeal to be done with i just have to get back the money i borrowed him. i really wish i hadn't. then he could just be fucked paying a super interest fee on his credit card. but i was nice. and now he won't even talk to me about it. i can't force him to. i dont know. it's like...no matter what i do i'm always wrong with this stupid situation. i tried to help him out even though we weren't on good terms...and then now i'm trying to figure out what's going on..practically BEGGING him to talk to me so i know what's goin on and all he does is he won't talk to me and tells me i dont treat him like a person. WHAT THE FUCK. what do i have to do to treat him like a person...other than going out of my way to try to do everything to make his life easier. i'm not going to worship him like a god. qand then people say "well justine, dont get worked up over it because then he's just controlling you and you're letting him" well ... just as an fyi./..he's got 200$ of mine and wont talk to me...that's a pretty big situation..and if no one else cares i just wish that someone might care simply that i care about the situation. i just dont see how he think's he living beyond fate or whatever crap if he can't just suck up his fucking pride and have a FUCKING conversation with me!!!! what the hell. obviously i made time for him when i didn't need to and he can't return the favor. or any favor for that matter...just sucks up whatever people can give him and then dumps them. I understand whyh his parents kicked him out, if he was my kid i wouldn't want him in my house being ungreatful and i would tell him...well your 18, do it on your fucking own. he could tell me i was terrible all he wanted...he's being ungreatful. i understand why his friends "back stabbed him too" because i'm sure he can say that i back stabbed him. next, amber was probably more sane than he was and just saw that he was a little too crazy for her/ about her...realized that ... and decided she didn't want to be in a relationship with him. i think her and i could get along. some people are arrogant and selfish and self centered. and if he says he's living the way God would want him to...he's terribly mistaken. love your fucking enemies. that's what i have to say. even when people talk bad about him i always pipe up with something good. why? because yes i dont like him, yes i dont ageree w/ a lot of the things he does, but i dont enjoy just bashing him. i say "well his band is talanted..." "and i do hope for the best for him". despite the fact that he's fucked me over, stabbed me in the back, narked on me, and won't give me the time of day.
it's not possible to live beoyond fate anyways...unless you want to go to hell. we're all destined to go to heaven, right ? that's our fate in a sense...
either that or our fate is always changing so really how can you ever reach it? i dont get it...that's just my thought and my little rant....
grrrrrrrrrrrr...........
what else...well...brandon's sorta upset me recently... i really want the whole ordeal to be done with i just have to get back the money i borrowed him. i really wish i hadn't. then he could just be fucked paying a super interest fee on his credit card. but i was nice. and now he won't even talk to me about it. i can't force him to. i dont know. it's like...no matter what i do i'm always wrong with this stupid situation. i tried to help him out even though we weren't on good terms...and then now i'm trying to figure out what's going on..practically BEGGING him to talk to me so i know what's goin on and all he does is he won't talk to me and tells me i dont treat him like a person. WHAT THE FUCK. what do i have to do to treat him like a person...other than going out of my way to try to do everything to make his life easier. i'm not going to worship him like a god. qand then people say "well justine, dont get worked up over it because then he's just controlling you and you're letting him" well ... just as an fyi./..he's got 200$ of mine and wont talk to me...that's a pretty big situation..and if no one else cares i just wish that someone might care simply that i care about the situation. i just dont see how he think's he living beyond fate or whatever crap if he can't just suck up his fucking pride and have a FUCKING conversation with me!!!! what the hell. obviously i made time for him when i didn't need to and he can't return the favor. or any favor for that matter...just sucks up whatever people can give him and then dumps them. I understand whyh his parents kicked him out, if he was my kid i wouldn't want him in my house being ungreatful and i would tell him...well your 18, do it on your fucking own. he could tell me i was terrible all he wanted...he's being ungreatful. i understand why his friends "back stabbed him too" because i'm sure he can say that i back stabbed him. next, amber was probably more sane than he was and just saw that he was a little too crazy for her/ about her...realized that ... and decided she didn't want to be in a relationship with him. i think her and i could get along. some people are arrogant and selfish and self centered. and if he says he's living the way God would want him to...he's terribly mistaken. love your fucking enemies. that's what i have to say. even when people talk bad about him i always pipe up with something good. why? because yes i dont like him, yes i dont ageree w/ a lot of the things he does, but i dont enjoy just bashing him. i say "well his band is talanted..." "and i do hope for the best for him". despite the fact that he's fucked me over, stabbed me in the back, narked on me, and won't give me the time of day.
it's not possible to live beoyond fate anyways...unless you want to go to hell. we're all destined to go to heaven, right ? that's our fate in a sense...
either that or our fate is always changing so really how can you ever reach it? i dont get it...that's just my thought and my little rant....
grrrrrrrrrrrr...........