sga season 6
Here's my brilliant idea for how season 6 of SGA should have gone. Ready? Okay, so they give the Wraith the gene therapy that makes them not need to feed on humans anymore. The Wraith experience a great awakening, culturally. They suddenly don't have to spend all their time hunting and scrapping over territory, so they develop Wraith art and Wraith music and Wraith poetry and Wraith macrame. Woolsey's office becomes cluttered with handcrafted Wraithy thank-you gifts.
There's no zealot like a convert: a majority of the newly non-murderous Wraith become militant vegetarians, and quickly grow disgusted with humans for eating meat when they don't need it to survive. Hostilities start to escalate when the Wraith begin using culling beams to scoop up livestock and transport it far away from human settlements.
In order to safeguard Pegasus humans' sacred right to hamburgers, Atlantis helps instigate a massive vegetarian vs. vegan dispute among the Wraith. Hivemate turns against hivemate as the Wraith take sides against one another, aligning under Queens who now have a new purpose in life as champions of various types of vegetarianism. Vegan Wraith snub vegetarian Wraith and refuse to invite them to quilting bees and potlucks. Ovo-lacto vegetarian Wraith take to egging the doors of horrified vegan Wraith.
As the brutal disagreement rages on, John pushes Rodney to create the ultimate turkey sandwich to deploy against the veggie Wraith and convince their Queen that meat-eating's not so bad in moderation. However, when John flies a puddlejumper toward the vegan hive ship, armed with the sandwich... he gets so hungry. CAN HE RESIST? WILL HE MAKE IT?! Cliffhanger season finale!
Tune in for season 7, when the Replicators return, only to become obsessed with collecting and compacting cubes of trash, watching Hello Dolly over and over, and taking care of tiny growing plants.
There's no zealot like a convert: a majority of the newly non-murderous Wraith become militant vegetarians, and quickly grow disgusted with humans for eating meat when they don't need it to survive. Hostilities start to escalate when the Wraith begin using culling beams to scoop up livestock and transport it far away from human settlements.
In order to safeguard Pegasus humans' sacred right to hamburgers, Atlantis helps instigate a massive vegetarian vs. vegan dispute among the Wraith. Hivemate turns against hivemate as the Wraith take sides against one another, aligning under Queens who now have a new purpose in life as champions of various types of vegetarianism. Vegan Wraith snub vegetarian Wraith and refuse to invite them to quilting bees and potlucks. Ovo-lacto vegetarian Wraith take to egging the doors of horrified vegan Wraith.
As the brutal disagreement rages on, John pushes Rodney to create the ultimate turkey sandwich to deploy against the veggie Wraith and convince their Queen that meat-eating's not so bad in moderation. However, when John flies a puddlejumper toward the vegan hive ship, armed with the sandwich... he gets so hungry. CAN HE RESIST? WILL HE MAKE IT?! Cliffhanger season finale!
Tune in for season 7, when the Replicators return, only to become obsessed with collecting and compacting cubes of trash, watching Hello Dolly over and over, and taking care of tiny growing plants.