superlocke to the rescue of nothing
almostnever: The 'previously's on Lost just played!
almostnever: LOCKE!
cindyjade: yis. can you tell what the episode is going to be about?
cindyjade: CAN YOU GUESS
almostnever: They are going to break into the hatch!
almostnever: whoa! they dug around the hatch
almostnever: THEY DUG THAT WHOLE UNDERGROUND THING OUT
almostnever: IT LOOKS LIKE A HUMIDIFIER
cindyjade: haha
cindyjade: SEKRIT HUMIDIFIER!
cindyjade: ALL THE ALIENS ARE HIDING IN IT!
almostnever: There's just going to be water inside! Locke will be disappointed.
cindyjade: maybe it's like the fountain of youth trip
cindyjade: HUMIDIFIER OF YOUTH
The device that Locke and Boone built to try to break into the hatch fails to shatter the glass, and collapses in a thousand pieces.
almostnever: Wow. The trebuchet flopped big time.
cindyjade: trebuchet trip?
almostnever: the catapulty thing
cindyjade: oh! hee
almostnever: Whoa. Locke felt no pain when that metal thing went into his leg
cindyjade: HE HAS ZOMBIE LEGS
almostnever: Maybe his paralysis is coming back omg!
cindyjade: HE HAS LOCKEBOT LEGS
almostnever: hahaa
almostnever: bionic legs!
almostnever: like when the plane crashed
almostnever: somehow accidentally BIONIC LEGS got grafted on to Locke
cindyjade: yis trip
cindyjade: it's fantasy island trip
cindyjade: locke's fantasy is to be the bionic man
almostnever: yis
cindyjade: does that mean he has bionic goods as well
almostnever: of course he has bionic goods
almostnever: for to shag Charlie er, Boone all bionically-like
almostnever: nah, it's fantasy island right? MAKE IT CHARLIE
cindyjade: CHARLIE CAN GIVE LOCKE MECHANICAL BEEJAYE!
almostnever: but apparently Locke wouldn't be able to feel it! like his numbity legs!
cindyjade: hee! that would only make him give it to charlie harder
cindyjade: YOU HAVE TO FEEL FOR BOTH OF US CHARLIE!
cindyjade: *pound pound*
Locke flashes back to a time when he had more hair.
almostnever: YOUNG LOCKE
almostnever: W/ COMBOVER
cindyjade: how young is he supposed to be?
cindyjade: old man w/ wig young?
almostnever: like, 10 years younger than he is on the island?
almostnever: maybe 15 years younger
cindyjade: how old is he supposed to be on island?
almostnever: 50 I think
Locke has an encounter with a woman who eventually admits she's his mother. The woman is played by Swoosie Kurtz.
almostnever: WTF SWOOSIE KURTZ IS NOT TERRY O'QUINN'S MOTHER
cindyjade: EXACTLY
cindyjade: OMG DID SHE GIVE BIRTH TO HIM WHEN SHE FIVE?
almostnever: hahaaa
cindyjade: wtf casting director
almostnever: Terry O'Quinn is 53, really
almostnever: Swoosie Kurtz is 61, really
cindyjade: okay. so she was 10 when she had him
cindyjade: she blossomed early
cindyjade: i love how the casting people think that giving terry o'quinn a cheap wig will fool us into believing that he is the spawn of a woman only a decade older
almostnever: Well, it was an immaculate conception so maybe it's okay that she was only 10
almostnever: maybe that's part of what made it immaculate
cindyjade: what? the whole lack of puberty thing? hehehe
almostnever: yis!
almostnever: no messy menstruation! TOTALLY IMMACULATE
cindyjade: i doubt the same could be said of the childbirth
almostnever: ...
cindyjade: maybe he immaculately popped out of her vagina?
almostnever: let's pretend this was the case trip
cindyjade: OR HER BELLY!
cindyjade: HE'S AN ALIEN TRIP
almostnever: BIONIC ALIEN LOCKE
cindyjade: HE'S MORPHED INTO HUMAN FORM W/ BIONIC LEGS
cindyjade: or! maybe he was like one of those lizard babies from V!
almostnever: what did they do trip?
almostnever: besides eat mice
cindyjade: um. coerce british men to give beejayes?
cindyjade: I DON'T REMEMBER TRIP
almostnever: back to the island
almostnever: Ian Somerhalder is SO not a good actor
cindyjade: but he's got big eyes trip
Locke dreams that Boone berates him for his faith in the island. Then he sees Boone covered in blood and chanting something about "Teresa goes up the stairs, Teresa goes down the stairs" while a yellow plane streaks across the sky and crashes. It totally looks like it's only a toy plane, and I labor under this misapprehension for a long time.
almostnever: Locke had a dream. now he just woke Boone up
cindyjade: he's so obsessed!
cindyjade: looking for any excuse to monopolize boone's time!
cindyjade: why doesn't he just confess his loff and be done w/ it
almostnever: haa
almostnever: Flashback time!
almostnever: Locke has found out his mom is schizophrenic
cindyjade: poor swoosie
cindyjade: i'd be schizo too if i had to squeeze out a watermelon at age 10
almostnever: *snickers!*
Locke goes to meet his father. Locke drove a red VW bug.
almostnever: Locke drove a VW bug
almostnever: I don't know what I think about that
cindyjade: hehe
cindyjade: why is he even driving?
cindyjade: can't he fly w/ his bionic powers?
almostnever: he's not bionic yet
cindyjade: immaculate conception = superhero or antichrist trip!
cindyjade: and since claire is having the antichrist...
cindyjade: *puts cape on locke*
almostnever: HA
almostnever: SUPERLOCKE
cindyjade: believe it or not he's walking on air trip!
almostnever: ahahaha
In media flashback, Locke is visiting with the father he never knew.
almostnever: his dad is asking him to go hunting
almostnever: he seriously looks way younger in those flashbacks!
almostnever: they did a nice job with makeup
cindyjade: TRIP NO HE LOOKS LIKE OLD MAN W/ CHEAP WIG WTF
almostnever: Ian is so cute trip
almostnever: if only he could act just a little less badly
almostnever: I could pretend he was good
cindyjade: he should test out his acting chops w/ some NC17 action w/ locke
almostnever: Michael is learning Korean!
almostnever: That's cool
cindyjade: yes! i liked that!
almostnever: Sawyer and Jack!
cindyjade: *yawn* trip
almostnever: ahaha, Sawyer's a hypochondriac
cindyjade: trip no, he's just being health conscious
almostnever: Jack keeps trying to walk away and turning back
cindyjade: jack cares! HE CARES ABOUT EVERYONE!
almostnever: it's like they're reconciling
almostnever: EXCEPT IT'S BORING
cindyjade: I TOLD YOU SO
Locke and Boone, hopping through the forest, pickin' up the field mice and poppin' 'em on the head.
almostnever: who the fuck is Teresa
almostnever: Boone will you just stfu and say who Teresa is
They find a rosary in the trees.
almostnever: oooh Locke just found a rosary!
cindyjade: i didn't understand that either
almostnever: the rosary?
cindyjade: no! teresa must be mother teresa!
almostnever: Locke fell down ouch
cindyjade: BIONIC LEGS NEED MAINTENANCE
almostnever: wtf?!
almostnever: a CORPSE JUST FELL OUT OF THE TREE
cindyjade: zombies!
almostnever: trip if Locke is ignoring his leg wound
almostnever: it could be getting gangrene
almostnever: yuck
almostnever: BIONIC gangrene
cindyjade: boone will have to saw it off trip
cindyjade: that will require ian to take off his shirt and open his eyes VERY WIDE!
almostnever: hehehe
almostnever: Locke's dad has kidney failure
almostnever: I bet Locke gives his dad his kidney!
cindyjade: his dad lacks locke's bionic organs
cindyjade: i guess that runs on the virgin mary side of the fam
almostnever: haa!
The corpse was a Nigerian guy with a rosary and a gun.
almostnever: the corpse was a Nigerian guy with a rosary and a gun
cindyjade: yes. SO MUCH SYMBOLISM IN THIS SHOW.
Meanwhile, back in the really inconsequential subplot...
almostnever: AHAHAHA Kate: "You're going to see Jack!"
almostnever: Sawyer: "Do I get a lollipop?"
cindyjade: charlie: *takes down pants?*
almostnever: ahaha
Jack pointlessly humiliates Sawyer while examining him about his headaches.
almostnever: Sawyer needs glasses
cindyjade: hee, yis, i liked that bit
Locke tells his secret about having been paralyzed to Boone.
almostnever: LOCKE TOLD HIS SECRET TO BOONE
almostnever: IT MUST BE LOVE
cindyjade: I KNOW OMG
cindyjade: SEE? SEE!
cindyjade: SECRETS FIRST
cindyjade: THEN BUTTSEX
cindyjade: IT'S A FORMULA TRIP!
cindyjade: TUT TUT ABC
almostnever: ahahaa
almostnever: I believe you trip! I am converted to the Church of Shag
almostnever: AND LOCKE AND BOONE EMBRACE
cindyjade: where is charlie?
cindyjade: he's off in a corner. pouting and jealous trip
almostnever: trip
almostnever: I am getting a bad feeling
cindyjade: wot trip
almostnever: I think Locke's dad SENT Locke's mom to pique Locke's curiosity about his parents
almostnever: so Locke would find his dad
almostnever: all so that Locke would give his dad his kidney!
cindyjade: o.O
cindyjade: inteeeeeeeeeeresting theory trip
cindyjade: WOULD SWOOSIE BE CAPABLE OF DOING THAT TRIP?
almostnever: SWOOSIE HAD A BABY WHEN SHE WAS 10. SHE IS NOT IN HER RIGHT MIND
Boone returns Locke's confidence by telling him about Teresa.
almostnever: Boone just told Locke who Teresa is! And Locke laughed because he found the toy plane from his dream!
almostnever: I AM SO CONFUSED
cindyjade: wait. who is teresa?
cindyjade: I MISSED THAT
almostnever: Boone said Teresa was his nanny
cindyjade: oh. huh. his nanny?
cindyjade: WAS HE IN LOVE W/ HER TOO?
almostnever: and he'd make her climb up and down the stairs to his room by calling her on his intercom. She fell down the stairs and broke her neck when he was 6
cindyjade: ........
cindyjade: whoa
cindyjade: i bet he got more than grounding as a punishment for that
almostnever: that's why Boone is so good! GUILT omg
cindyjade: yes. plus! add to it the "i like to fuck my sister guilt"
cindyjade: and the "i was happy imagining my sister was dead" guilt
cindyjade: and the "i can't act worth shit guilt"
almostnever: AHAHAHA
almostnever: that's a lot of sins
almostnever: Boone better keep that rosary!
almostnever: I know!
almostnever: HE SHOULD CONFESS TO CHARLIE
almostnever: CHARLIE CAN ABSOLVE HIM WITH HIS COCK
cindyjade: OMG! IT'S ALL TIED IN TOGETHER TRIP
cindyjade: CHARLIE WILL FIND HIS RELIGION SO HE CAN GIVE ABSOLUTION TO OTHER PEOPLES
cindyjade: ABSOLUTION THROUGH COCK SUCKING
almostnever: trip. THERE WAS AN ALIAS COMMERCIAL. SHE HAD BEEN BURIED ALIVE
almostnever: but I bet she gets rescued
almostnever: WHY DO THEY GET MY HOPES UP LIKE THIS
cindyjade: haha trip
cindyjade: BUT DON'T VAMPIRES LIKE TO BE IN COFFINS?
cindyjade: WOT UP JENNIFER! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT NOW
almostnever: okay, Lost is back on
almostnever: Locke told Boone to climb up the tree to get the plane
almostnever: can't they just knock it down with a branch??
cindyjade: trip omg the plane
almostnever: trip I noticed that Locke neglected to mention to Boone that his vision included BOONE COVERED IN BLOOD
cindyjade: the best part trip
Flashbackery!
almostnever: I KNEW IT. HE'S GIVING HIS DAD HIS KIDNEY
cindyjade: trip we all saw that coming
And back to the island. The cuts between the flashbacks and the island go awfully quick in this episode.
almostnever: Sawyer trying on glasses
almostnever: wotevah
cindyjade: trip he's all scholarly
Boone and Locke.
almostnever: BOONE CLIMBS UP THE HIGHEST TREE IN THE WORLD
cindyjade: HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO ACT TO CLIMB TREES TRIP!
almostnever: whoa
almostnever: that plane wasn't a toy plane! it's full sized
almostnever: I visually misinterpreted their model
almostnever: I mean
almostnever: I didn't get that
cindyjade: yeah trip. *laughs at you*
cindyjade: actually i did too for a couple of seconds!
cindyjade: it was a very bad shot! that first one of the plane!
almostnever: Boone is so going to die
cindyjade: wot trip? nooooo.
almostnever: trip if Boone doesn't die it will be SUCH a huge fakeout
cindyjade: not till locke takes his cherry plis
almostnever: TRIP
cindyjade: TRIP YES
almostnever: THE PLANE IS FULL OF HEROIN
almostnever: CHARLIE
cindyjade: YES OMG!!!
cindyjade: TRIP DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
cindyjade: A WHOLE PLANE OF HEROIN!
cindyjade: THINK OF ALL THE BEEJAYES LOCKE CAN EXTORT W/ A WHOLE PLANE TRIPTRIPTRIP!!!!
almostnever: why does Locke keep saying he doesn't understand?
almostnever: the plane might have a working radio! THE PLANE MIGHT BE REPAIRABLE. What's not to understand?
cindyjade: TRIP FOCUS
cindyjade: BEEJAYES!
cindyjade: OF COURSE THE PLANE ISN'T REPAIRABLE
cindyjade: OR THE SHOW WOULD BE OVER
The plane falls down, goes boom.
almostnever: uh trip
almostnever: Boone just died
almostnever: I think
cindyjade: you also thought the plane was a toy model
almostnever: LOST ARE YOU FAKING ME OUT YOU DAMN FAKEY SHOW
almostnever: Locke's legs are suddenly working again!
almostnever: wow. he picked Boone up in a FIREMAN'S CARRY EVEN
cindyjade: heroin is the magical key to get his bionic bits working again
almostnever: and I'm right again, Boone's gonna bite it, yay
almostnever: trip it's not that I have anything against Boone
almostnever: but if he dies I know Claire is safe!
cindyjade: BETTER BOONE THAN CLAIRE TRIP
cindyjade: yes
almostnever: commercials
almostnever: OH NO, AN ALIAS COMMERCIAL ARRGH
almostnever: Sydney buried alive
almostnever: Laurence thinks the show would be more interesting if it was about the adventures of a lady spy who's buried underground
cindyjade: hee!
cindyjade: they should combine alias w/ blind justice trip
almostnever: so much badness! it would cancel each other out!
Jack and Kate bland at each other.
almostnever: Evangeline is so pretty
almostnever: AND JACK AND KATE ARE SO BORING
almostnever: yaye, here comes Locke with Boone to break up the monotony
cindyjade: they really are
almostnever: Locke just woke up in the hospital
cindyjade: with his new legs! bionic transplant
almostnever: I was right yet again, trip.
almostnever: Locke's dad fucked him over.
almostnever: You'd think that his experience with his father would have made him more skeptical!
almostnever: instead he's all like "meant to be" all the time
almostnever: even though it got him screwed already once before
cindyjade: heh
cindyjade: swoosie is a bad schizo mom!
Locke goes to the hatch and screams into it, "Why are you doing this to me?!" At that very moment, AIM kicks both me and cindyjade off, and won't let us log back on again.
EERIE.
almostnever: LOCKE!
cindyjade: yis. can you tell what the episode is going to be about?
cindyjade: CAN YOU GUESS
almostnever: They are going to break into the hatch!
almostnever: whoa! they dug around the hatch
almostnever: THEY DUG THAT WHOLE UNDERGROUND THING OUT
almostnever: IT LOOKS LIKE A HUMIDIFIER
cindyjade: haha
cindyjade: SEKRIT HUMIDIFIER!
cindyjade: ALL THE ALIENS ARE HIDING IN IT!
almostnever: There's just going to be water inside! Locke will be disappointed.
cindyjade: maybe it's like the fountain of youth trip
cindyjade: HUMIDIFIER OF YOUTH
The device that Locke and Boone built to try to break into the hatch fails to shatter the glass, and collapses in a thousand pieces.
almostnever: Wow. The trebuchet flopped big time.
cindyjade: trebuchet trip?
almostnever: the catapulty thing
cindyjade: oh! hee
almostnever: Whoa. Locke felt no pain when that metal thing went into his leg
cindyjade: HE HAS ZOMBIE LEGS
almostnever: Maybe his paralysis is coming back omg!
cindyjade: HE HAS LOCKEBOT LEGS
almostnever: hahaa
almostnever: bionic legs!
almostnever: like when the plane crashed
almostnever: somehow accidentally BIONIC LEGS got grafted on to Locke
cindyjade: yis trip
cindyjade: it's fantasy island trip
cindyjade: locke's fantasy is to be the bionic man
almostnever: yis
cindyjade: does that mean he has bionic goods as well
almostnever: of course he has bionic goods
almostnever: for to shag Charlie er, Boone all bionically-like
almostnever: nah, it's fantasy island right? MAKE IT CHARLIE
cindyjade: CHARLIE CAN GIVE LOCKE MECHANICAL BEEJAYE!
almostnever: but apparently Locke wouldn't be able to feel it! like his numbity legs!
cindyjade: hee! that would only make him give it to charlie harder
cindyjade: YOU HAVE TO FEEL FOR BOTH OF US CHARLIE!
cindyjade: *pound pound*
Locke flashes back to a time when he had more hair.
almostnever: YOUNG LOCKE
almostnever: W/ COMBOVER
cindyjade: how young is he supposed to be?
cindyjade: old man w/ wig young?
almostnever: like, 10 years younger than he is on the island?
almostnever: maybe 15 years younger
cindyjade: how old is he supposed to be on island?
almostnever: 50 I think
Locke has an encounter with a woman who eventually admits she's his mother. The woman is played by Swoosie Kurtz.
almostnever: WTF SWOOSIE KURTZ IS NOT TERRY O'QUINN'S MOTHER
cindyjade: EXACTLY
cindyjade: OMG DID SHE GIVE BIRTH TO HIM WHEN SHE FIVE?
almostnever: hahaaa
cindyjade: wtf casting director
almostnever: Terry O'Quinn is 53, really
almostnever: Swoosie Kurtz is 61, really
cindyjade: okay. so she was 10 when she had him
cindyjade: she blossomed early
cindyjade: i love how the casting people think that giving terry o'quinn a cheap wig will fool us into believing that he is the spawn of a woman only a decade older
almostnever: Well, it was an immaculate conception so maybe it's okay that she was only 10
almostnever: maybe that's part of what made it immaculate
cindyjade: what? the whole lack of puberty thing? hehehe
almostnever: yis!
almostnever: no messy menstruation! TOTALLY IMMACULATE
cindyjade: i doubt the same could be said of the childbirth
almostnever: ...
cindyjade: maybe he immaculately popped out of her vagina?
almostnever: let's pretend this was the case trip
cindyjade: OR HER BELLY!
cindyjade: HE'S AN ALIEN TRIP
almostnever: BIONIC ALIEN LOCKE
cindyjade: HE'S MORPHED INTO HUMAN FORM W/ BIONIC LEGS
cindyjade: or! maybe he was like one of those lizard babies from V!
almostnever: what did they do trip?
almostnever: besides eat mice
cindyjade: um. coerce british men to give beejayes?
cindyjade: I DON'T REMEMBER TRIP
almostnever: back to the island
almostnever: Ian Somerhalder is SO not a good actor
cindyjade: but he's got big eyes trip
Locke dreams that Boone berates him for his faith in the island. Then he sees Boone covered in blood and chanting something about "Teresa goes up the stairs, Teresa goes down the stairs" while a yellow plane streaks across the sky and crashes. It totally looks like it's only a toy plane, and I labor under this misapprehension for a long time.
almostnever: Locke had a dream. now he just woke Boone up
cindyjade: he's so obsessed!
cindyjade: looking for any excuse to monopolize boone's time!
cindyjade: why doesn't he just confess his loff and be done w/ it
almostnever: haa
almostnever: Flashback time!
almostnever: Locke has found out his mom is schizophrenic
cindyjade: poor swoosie
cindyjade: i'd be schizo too if i had to squeeze out a watermelon at age 10
almostnever: *snickers!*
Locke goes to meet his father. Locke drove a red VW bug.
almostnever: Locke drove a VW bug
almostnever: I don't know what I think about that
cindyjade: hehe
cindyjade: why is he even driving?
cindyjade: can't he fly w/ his bionic powers?
almostnever: he's not bionic yet
cindyjade: immaculate conception = superhero or antichrist trip!
cindyjade: and since claire is having the antichrist...
cindyjade: *puts cape on locke*
almostnever: HA
almostnever: SUPERLOCKE
cindyjade: believe it or not he's walking on air trip!
almostnever: ahahaha
In media flashback, Locke is visiting with the father he never knew.
almostnever: his dad is asking him to go hunting
almostnever: he seriously looks way younger in those flashbacks!
almostnever: they did a nice job with makeup
cindyjade: TRIP NO HE LOOKS LIKE OLD MAN W/ CHEAP WIG WTF
almostnever: Ian is so cute trip
almostnever: if only he could act just a little less badly
almostnever: I could pretend he was good
cindyjade: he should test out his acting chops w/ some NC17 action w/ locke
almostnever: Michael is learning Korean!
almostnever: That's cool
cindyjade: yes! i liked that!
almostnever: Sawyer and Jack!
cindyjade: *yawn* trip
almostnever: ahaha, Sawyer's a hypochondriac
cindyjade: trip no, he's just being health conscious
almostnever: Jack keeps trying to walk away and turning back
cindyjade: jack cares! HE CARES ABOUT EVERYONE!
almostnever: it's like they're reconciling
almostnever: EXCEPT IT'S BORING
cindyjade: I TOLD YOU SO
Locke and Boone, hopping through the forest, pickin' up the field mice and poppin' 'em on the head.
almostnever: who the fuck is Teresa
almostnever: Boone will you just stfu and say who Teresa is
They find a rosary in the trees.
almostnever: oooh Locke just found a rosary!
cindyjade: i didn't understand that either
almostnever: the rosary?
cindyjade: no! teresa must be mother teresa!
almostnever: Locke fell down ouch
cindyjade: BIONIC LEGS NEED MAINTENANCE
almostnever: wtf?!
almostnever: a CORPSE JUST FELL OUT OF THE TREE
cindyjade: zombies!
almostnever: trip if Locke is ignoring his leg wound
almostnever: it could be getting gangrene
almostnever: yuck
almostnever: BIONIC gangrene
cindyjade: boone will have to saw it off trip
cindyjade: that will require ian to take off his shirt and open his eyes VERY WIDE!
almostnever: hehehe
almostnever: Locke's dad has kidney failure
almostnever: I bet Locke gives his dad his kidney!
cindyjade: his dad lacks locke's bionic organs
cindyjade: i guess that runs on the virgin mary side of the fam
almostnever: haa!
The corpse was a Nigerian guy with a rosary and a gun.
almostnever: the corpse was a Nigerian guy with a rosary and a gun
cindyjade: yes. SO MUCH SYMBOLISM IN THIS SHOW.
Meanwhile, back in the really inconsequential subplot...
almostnever: AHAHAHA Kate: "You're going to see Jack!"
almostnever: Sawyer: "Do I get a lollipop?"
cindyjade: charlie: *takes down pants?*
almostnever: ahaha
Jack pointlessly humiliates Sawyer while examining him about his headaches.
almostnever: Sawyer needs glasses
cindyjade: hee, yis, i liked that bit
Locke tells his secret about having been paralyzed to Boone.
almostnever: LOCKE TOLD HIS SECRET TO BOONE
almostnever: IT MUST BE LOVE
cindyjade: I KNOW OMG
cindyjade: SEE? SEE!
cindyjade: SECRETS FIRST
cindyjade: THEN BUTTSEX
cindyjade: IT'S A FORMULA TRIP!
cindyjade: TUT TUT ABC
almostnever: ahahaa
almostnever: I believe you trip! I am converted to the Church of Shag
almostnever: AND LOCKE AND BOONE EMBRACE
cindyjade: where is charlie?
cindyjade: he's off in a corner. pouting and jealous trip
almostnever: trip
almostnever: I am getting a bad feeling
cindyjade: wot trip
almostnever: I think Locke's dad SENT Locke's mom to pique Locke's curiosity about his parents
almostnever: so Locke would find his dad
almostnever: all so that Locke would give his dad his kidney!
cindyjade: o.O
cindyjade: inteeeeeeeeeeresting theory trip
cindyjade: WOULD SWOOSIE BE CAPABLE OF DOING THAT TRIP?
almostnever: SWOOSIE HAD A BABY WHEN SHE WAS 10. SHE IS NOT IN HER RIGHT MIND
Boone returns Locke's confidence by telling him about Teresa.
almostnever: Boone just told Locke who Teresa is! And Locke laughed because he found the toy plane from his dream!
almostnever: I AM SO CONFUSED
cindyjade: wait. who is teresa?
cindyjade: I MISSED THAT
almostnever: Boone said Teresa was his nanny
cindyjade: oh. huh. his nanny?
cindyjade: WAS HE IN LOVE W/ HER TOO?
almostnever: and he'd make her climb up and down the stairs to his room by calling her on his intercom. She fell down the stairs and broke her neck when he was 6
cindyjade: ........
cindyjade: whoa
cindyjade: i bet he got more than grounding as a punishment for that
almostnever: that's why Boone is so good! GUILT omg
cindyjade: yes. plus! add to it the "i like to fuck my sister guilt"
cindyjade: and the "i was happy imagining my sister was dead" guilt
cindyjade: and the "i can't act worth shit guilt"
almostnever: AHAHAHA
almostnever: that's a lot of sins
almostnever: Boone better keep that rosary!
almostnever: I know!
almostnever: HE SHOULD CONFESS TO CHARLIE
almostnever: CHARLIE CAN ABSOLVE HIM WITH HIS COCK
cindyjade: OMG! IT'S ALL TIED IN TOGETHER TRIP
cindyjade: CHARLIE WILL FIND HIS RELIGION SO HE CAN GIVE ABSOLUTION TO OTHER PEOPLES
cindyjade: ABSOLUTION THROUGH COCK SUCKING
almostnever: trip. THERE WAS AN ALIAS COMMERCIAL. SHE HAD BEEN BURIED ALIVE
almostnever: but I bet she gets rescued
almostnever: WHY DO THEY GET MY HOPES UP LIKE THIS
cindyjade: haha trip
cindyjade: BUT DON'T VAMPIRES LIKE TO BE IN COFFINS?
cindyjade: WOT UP JENNIFER! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT NOW
almostnever: okay, Lost is back on
almostnever: Locke told Boone to climb up the tree to get the plane
almostnever: can't they just knock it down with a branch??
cindyjade: trip omg the plane
almostnever: trip I noticed that Locke neglected to mention to Boone that his vision included BOONE COVERED IN BLOOD
cindyjade: the best part trip
Flashbackery!
almostnever: I KNEW IT. HE'S GIVING HIS DAD HIS KIDNEY
cindyjade: trip we all saw that coming
And back to the island. The cuts between the flashbacks and the island go awfully quick in this episode.
almostnever: Sawyer trying on glasses
almostnever: wotevah
cindyjade: trip he's all scholarly
Boone and Locke.
almostnever: BOONE CLIMBS UP THE HIGHEST TREE IN THE WORLD
cindyjade: HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO ACT TO CLIMB TREES TRIP!
almostnever: whoa
almostnever: that plane wasn't a toy plane! it's full sized
almostnever: I visually misinterpreted their model
almostnever: I mean
almostnever: I didn't get that
cindyjade: yeah trip. *laughs at you*
cindyjade: actually i did too for a couple of seconds!
cindyjade: it was a very bad shot! that first one of the plane!
almostnever: Boone is so going to die
cindyjade: wot trip? nooooo.
almostnever: trip if Boone doesn't die it will be SUCH a huge fakeout
cindyjade: not till locke takes his cherry plis
almostnever: TRIP
cindyjade: TRIP YES
almostnever: THE PLANE IS FULL OF HEROIN
almostnever: CHARLIE
cindyjade: YES OMG!!!
cindyjade: TRIP DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
cindyjade: A WHOLE PLANE OF HEROIN!
cindyjade: THINK OF ALL THE BEEJAYES LOCKE CAN EXTORT W/ A WHOLE PLANE TRIPTRIPTRIP!!!!
almostnever: why does Locke keep saying he doesn't understand?
almostnever: the plane might have a working radio! THE PLANE MIGHT BE REPAIRABLE. What's not to understand?
cindyjade: TRIP FOCUS
cindyjade: BEEJAYES!
cindyjade: OF COURSE THE PLANE ISN'T REPAIRABLE
cindyjade: OR THE SHOW WOULD BE OVER
The plane falls down, goes boom.
almostnever: uh trip
almostnever: Boone just died
almostnever: I think
cindyjade: you also thought the plane was a toy model
almostnever: LOST ARE YOU FAKING ME OUT YOU DAMN FAKEY SHOW
almostnever: Locke's legs are suddenly working again!
almostnever: wow. he picked Boone up in a FIREMAN'S CARRY EVEN
cindyjade: heroin is the magical key to get his bionic bits working again
almostnever: and I'm right again, Boone's gonna bite it, yay
almostnever: trip it's not that I have anything against Boone
almostnever: but if he dies I know Claire is safe!
cindyjade: BETTER BOONE THAN CLAIRE TRIP
cindyjade: yes
almostnever: commercials
almostnever: OH NO, AN ALIAS COMMERCIAL ARRGH
almostnever: Sydney buried alive
almostnever: Laurence thinks the show would be more interesting if it was about the adventures of a lady spy who's buried underground
cindyjade: hee!
cindyjade: they should combine alias w/ blind justice trip
almostnever: so much badness! it would cancel each other out!
Jack and Kate bland at each other.
almostnever: Evangeline is so pretty
almostnever: AND JACK AND KATE ARE SO BORING
almostnever: yaye, here comes Locke with Boone to break up the monotony
cindyjade: they really are
almostnever: Locke just woke up in the hospital
cindyjade: with his new legs! bionic transplant
almostnever: I was right yet again, trip.
almostnever: Locke's dad fucked him over.
almostnever: You'd think that his experience with his father would have made him more skeptical!
almostnever: instead he's all like "meant to be" all the time
almostnever: even though it got him screwed already once before
cindyjade: heh
cindyjade: swoosie is a bad schizo mom!
Locke goes to the hatch and screams into it, "Why are you doing this to me?!" At that very moment, AIM kicks both me and cindyjade off, and won't let us log back on again.
EERIE.