trips on tv: lost and alias
Trips watch TV! Spoilers for Lost and Alias!
Cesare: triptrip
Cesare: LOST in 7 min
cindyjade: TRIP WE WATCH TOGETHAH???
cindyjade: YAYE
cindyjade: *twirls*
Cesare: IT'S ON
cindyjade: YAYE
cindyjade: she can climb trees
Indeed, Kate is up a tree. Scary music begins as she hears rustling noises.
Cesare: suspense music
cindyjade: hee
cindyjade: ooh she's got a rock
The noises turn out to be...
Cesare: ahahaaaa
Cesare: it's Sawyer
cindyjade: heeeee
More rustling.
cindyjade: is it a waterfall?
cindyjade: I WAS RIGHT TRIP
Sawyer strips (NOT ENOUGH) and invites Kate to swim.
Cesare: He didn't take his pants off! wtf
cindyjade: he's SHY trip
Cesare: yay lighthearted swimming SHUT UP WHAT HAPPENED TO CLAIRE
They find bodies underwater.
Cesare: oh come ON this is just stupidly ... oh fuck
cindyjade: omg
Cesare: I knew it
cindyjade: haha
cindyjade: how did they end over there seriously trip
cindyjade: wtf
Cesare: I was about to type "this is just stupidly upbeat, you know something horrible is going to happen" :D
cindyjade: hee
cindyjade: i thought they were going to be just dead people
cindyjade: NOT DEAD PEOPLE IN PLANE SEATS
Commercial break.
Cesare: Alias looks kind of dumb
cindyjade: i've never seen it
Cesare: I haven't either
But we will! For now though, Lost comes back from the break. Sawyer and Kate get a briefcase from the plane seats o' dead folk.
cindyjade: gross
Cesare: this is nice underwater filming
cindyjade: wot is the briefcase
Cesare: I dunno
cindyjade: predict trip
cindyjade: you are so good at it
Cesare: actually I saw spoilers
Cesare: so it wouldn't be fair
cindyjade: TELL ME I'M TOO IMPATIENT OMG
Cesare: ALL I KNOW IS THAT KATE DOESN'T WANT IT OPEN
Cesare: BC IT'S SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER FUGITIVE PAST
cindyjade: oh
cindyjade: I KINDA FIGURED THAT TRIP
cindyjade: poor claire still missing
Cesare: *cries!*
cindyjade: maybe they will find her by the end of the season trip
cindyjade: *holds you*
Cesare: Claaaaaaaaaaaaaire
cindyjade: SAGSLDGKHA;LSDFJ
cindyjade: ANGSTY DOM OMG
Cesare: wot where
cindyjade: did you see him looking off into nowhere trip?
cindyjade: all angsty
Cesare: no
Cesare: omg
Cesare: where
cindyjade: OMG!
Cesare: on the beach?
cindyjade: jack gestured to him
cindyjade: yis
Cesare: oh
Cesare: I missed
cindyjade: and he was just staring at the sky like
cindyjade: claaaaaaaaaaaaaaire
Flashbacks.
cindyjade: MORE KATE BACKSTORY WHY
cindyjade: she's so pretty trip
Cesare: she is!
Cesare: she's in league with those bank robber guys I bet
cindyjade: no. but i bet she steals the money
cindyjade: like
cindyjade: they die and she walks off with it
cindyjade: or something
After telling Sawyer he can keep the Briefcase of Plot Pointiness, Kate the Good tries to steal it from him while he sleeps, leading to a UST-heavy clinch as they grapple with each other.
Cesare: wtf this is dumb
cindyjade: agreed
Kate headbutts Sawyer.
Cesare: AHAHA
cindyjade: she headbutted!
cindyjade: haha
Cesare: headbutt makes it okay
cindyjade: HEE I AGREE TRIP
And then, the beach!
Cesare: bikini Shannon
Cesare: Sayid hot!
Cesare: Sawyer's hair was nicer earlier in the show
Cesare: it's getting too long now
cindyjade: yeah. mulletish
cindyjade: hee! hurley
Cesare: Ian pretteh
cindyjade: yis
cindyjade: FINALLY
Charlie! He gets a scolding from Rose, the older black lady who thinks her husband is still alive. She's on his case about him moping instead of helping to carry shit, or something.
Cesare: Charlie being chided
Cesare: lady, his neck is still BLOODY FROM BEING HANGED
Cesare: cut the guy some freaking slack
cindyjade: he's all wounded trip
cindyjade: LOL
cindyjade: no shit
Meanwhile in the jungle, Sawyer climbs a tree and drops the briefcase from a great height trying to break it open. Kate darts out and steals it while Sawyer's still up the tree.
Cesare: haaa
cindyjade: hahaha
cindyjade: that was awesome
Sawyer chases Kate.
Cesare: how are they running that fast!? aren't they gonna get lost
Cesare: ...loster
cindyjade: ha trip
cindyjade: he'll give it to you for a BEEJAYE Kate
Kate tries to get Jack to help her find the key to the briefcase. They have to dig up the dead marshal to find it in his wallet. Kate won't tell Jack why she wants the case so bad.
Cesare: Jesus Kate, just LIE about what's in it!
Cesare: She must have been the shittiest fugitive EVER
cindyjade: ahahahahha
cindyjade: she's not too bright
More flashbacks! Kate the Good is at the bank robbery and a gun slides toward her. She picks it up and aims at a robber.
Cesare: OH GOD is this why she's a fugitive? all a big mistake?
Cesare: that would be SO LAME
cindyjade: SHE'S SO GOOD TRIP
cindyjade: she cannae even shoot a criminal
...except it turns out Kate is in league with the robbers who are now pretending she's a hostage.
Cesare: YES I WAS RIGHT
cindyjade: omg
cindyjade: YOU WERE
Cesare: TOLD YOU
cindyjade: OMG
cindyjade: DID YOU READ SPOILERS TRIP
Cesare: NO
Cesare: I'm just smart trip :D
cindyjade: the lack of charlie in this episode is appalling
Cesare: there bettah be more later
cindyjade: more shots of his bloody neck plis
Cesare: yeah like the strain of carrying shit should make it bleed
Cesare: and that lady can feel all bad for scolding him
cindyjade: oof trip. that's yummy
cindyjade: *licks him*
cindyjade: i bet her sob stories don't involve being HANGED and left for DEAD omg
Cesare: no shit!
Cesare: wtf how long was his brain w/out oxygen?
Cesare: he's not in mourning lady he's trying to RECOVER SYNAPSES
cindyjade: *humps his neurons back to life!*
Cesare: ahahaaa
cindyjade: sayid's nails are too long
cindyjade: MOST FOUL
Sun and Jack are trying to communicate.
Cesare: oooh Sun
cindyjade: you can speak english hello
Cesare: she can't let anyone know
Cesare: AHAHAHA JACK when Kate says "We have a problem."
Cesare: He says, "We have a problem? Or you have a problem?" haha
Cesare: That's the best Jack line evah
cindyjade: it was pretty good
cindyjade: OH NO THEY TELL STORY IN FRONT OF SEKRIT ENGLISH SPEAKING LADY!
cindyjade: the plot thickens
Cesare: awesome
Kate the Good is shifty but convinces Jack they need to dig up the marshal and get the keys to the Suitcase of Plot Pointiness.
Cesare: Kate's so totally lying about what's in that thing.
cindyjade: to get him to help
cindyjade: she's crafty
cindyjade: ew
cindyjade: she's going to dig up dead carcass
Cesare: yep yep
Cesare: we need more bodies this episode
Cesare: two skanky fish eaten corpses just didn't make quota
cindyjade: YAYE CHARLIE
Cesare: his neck is so hurt!
cindyjade: omg!
Rose says she knows Charlie came very close to dying in the previous episode.
Cesare: very close to dying? LADY HE WAS DEAD
Cesare: HE WAS SO TOTALLY DEAD
cindyjade: haha trip
cindyjade: he's going to cry!
cindyjade: i will come
In her backstory, Kate gives her name as Maggie.
Cesare: Maggie :D
Cesare: I like how Sawyer and Kate both haven't given their real names
cindyjade: me too :D
Present day: Kate and Jack dig up the marshal.
Cesare: yay rotty marshal body
cindyjade: maggots
cindyjade: score
Cesare: ew ew ew
Cesare: HA TRIP
Kate tries to steal the key under Jack's nose.
cindyjade: haha
cindyjade: no key
cindyjade: she's got in her palm
cindyjade: TRICKSY
cindyjade: MAGGOTS ON HER JACKETSES
Cesare: why would anyone ever want Jack and Kate to hook up?
Cesare: not only is Jack inexplicably SUPER BORING
cindyjade: you need any other reason?
Cesare: but he doesn't ever act like he likes her at all
cindyjade: yeah
Cesare: Not even as if he doesn't like her but he's attracted to her
Cesare: no
Cesare: not even like he's attracted!
cindyjade: maybe his cock got injured in plane crash trip
Cesare: bwah
Cesare: plus she's all throwing herself at him, but she's scheming! who else would you try to hook up with if you were smart in this situation? THE HERO DOCTOR
Commercials.
cindyjade: alias = WHO CARES
Shannon is sad.
Cesare: tearful Shannon! WOE
Cesare: SHE HAS INNER PAIN
cindyjade: oh pretty blonde girl angst
cindyjade: N'AWW
cindyjade: *rolls eyes*
Jack tries to get the suitcase from Saywer.
Cesare: Jack and Sawyer have more chemistry than Jack and Kate
cindyjade: he's gonna give it to you....FOR A BEEJAYE
cindyjade: YES
cindyjade: i would like jack more if he did heroic things to sawyer's crotch
Cesare: :D
Kate flashbacks.
Cesare: Haaa, "my name's not Maggie"
Cesare: I bet they do a backstory episode with her where she hangs out with the Alias chick
Cesare: when is someone going to write Sydney/Kate femmeslash, that's what I want to know
Kate has evidently gone to a lot of trouble to team up with these bank robbers just to get a safe deposit box that contains... a toy plane.
cindyjade: ....
cindyjade: wtf
cindyjade: it's a toy plane?
Cesare: seriously.
Cesare: this could not be more w. t. f.
cindyjade: i raise you that with a WHAT. EVAH.
Cesare: Evangeline is good at freaking out and crying, I'll give her that.
Cesare: not. enough. Charlie.
cindyjade: word trip
Cesare: HELLO? TV? MORE CHARLIE KTHX
cindyjade: AUDIENCE 99 % FANGIRLS HELLO
Cesare: ahahaaa
Cesare: that may be overestimating a tad trip :D
cindyjade: okay. 98.999999999999999999
cindyjade: i rounded up
Commercials.
cindyjade: fuck off w/ the alias SOME OF US DON'T CARE
Cesare: trip
Cesare: I'm not sure
Cesare: but I'm starting to think maybe Alias will be on after Lost
Cesare: it's just this feeling I get
cindyjade: hahaha
cindyjade: trip i laugh
cindyjade: it frighten the cats
cindyjade: *laughs*
Cesare: poor kittehs
cindyjade: you know it's sad when a bachorlette commercial is less annoying
The beach!
cindyjade: doggie!
Cesare: okay Lost
Cesare: you have a last chance!
Cesare: PONY UP WITH MORE CHARLIE
Cesare: AGH NO DON'T WATCH HIM WALK BY
Cesare: FOLLOW HIM
Cesare: FOLLLLLLLLLLLOW
Cesare: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM
cindyjade: ...
cindyjade: CHARLIE
Cesare: YES LIKE THAT!
Cesare: his arms trip
cindyjade: A;LSDKGHALS;DJF
cindyjade: LIT BY FIRELIGHT
cindyjade: EAR TRIP
Cesare: woeful face!
Charlie breaks down in tears.
cindyjade: omg
Cesare: trip take all the time you need
cindyjade: omg
cindyjade: i think i just came a little
Cesare: Charlie is so totally going to find religion again, I knew it
Cesare: he's going to end up like, a priest
cindyjade: HELP ME FOR I HATH SINNED
Cesare: trip I can't BELIEVE it, my tape ended right in the middle of Charlie crying and breaking down
cindyjade: ............
cindyjade: NO TRIP
Cesare: yes
Cesare: WOE
cindyjade: *holds you*
Cesare: fuk u longing looks between jack and kate
Cesare: WTF IS UP WITH THAT TOY MOTHERFUCKING PLANE
cindyjade: WHO CARES
cindyjade: MORE CHARLIE PLIS
Next week on Lost:
Cesare: ahahaha Sayid!
Cesare: putting Boone in his place in preview
Cesare: nise
Lost ends, but what's this? Apparently there is another show on next! It's called Alias!
Cesare: hey trip
Cesare: you'll never guess what's on next
cindyjade: triptrip
cindyjade: what's this trip?
cindyjade: a new show?
cindyjade: some chick is in it
cindyjade: and look she's half nekkid so i guess i won't change channel
cindyjade: and speaking w/ accent
cindyjade: marketing geniuses *watches*
Cesare: she is doing an accent trip
Cesare: where is it from, I can't place it
Cesare: it sounds like she is from DUMBSYLVANIA
cindyjade: i don't think she is who she pretends to be trip
cindyjade: i'm getting this feeling
cindyjade: also, hahaha
Cesare: trip when a beautiful girl like this comes onto a guy with classified info
Cesare: that guy with classified info instantly knows what is up
Cesare: they are from an alternative universe of stupid
cindyjade: i don't even think that is her real hair trip
cindyjade: THREE DOTS TRIP HOW CLASSIFIED
cindyjade: THREE DOTS OF EVIL
Cesare: wtf what is their relationship to each other supposed to be that he just SHOWS her this shit
Cesare: trip she hit him and stole his secret thing
Cesare: I AM SO SURPRISED
cindyjade: ow trip my head hurts
cindyjade: the rolling of the eyes
Cesare: *pets you* poor trip
cindyjade: I AM SHOCKED TRIP
Cesare: take comfort in her breasts and blonde wig trip
Cesare: she offers them for this purpose
cindyjade: hahaha
cindyjade: NOW THERE ARE PEOPLE CHASING HER!
cindyjade: *GASP*
Cesare: look trip she has a suitcase
cindyjade: she wields it like strider
Cesare: on Lost, Kate had a suitcase
Cesare: YOU SEE WHY IF YOU LIKE LOST YOU WILL LIKE ALIAS
Cesare: SUITCASE FANS THE WORLD OVER, REJOICE
cindyjade: they should be slashed you are right
cindyjade: *LAFFS*
cindyjade: <3
Sydney hangs by a rope from the side of the train.
cindyjade: outlook not good
cindyjade: is she gonna die trip
cindyjade: maybe she has nine lives
Cesare: I do not understand the mechanics of him cutting this rope in several places and her falling just a little bit each time
The evil guy takes a long time to cut the last section of rope.
cindyjade: it didn't take him that long to cut the first two wtf
Cesare: oh boy trip
Cesare: now we go back in time to show how she got in danger
Cesare: WE WILL BE LEFT IN SUSPENSE LO THESE TWO HOURS
Cesare: WILL SHE GET OUT OF IT ALIVE
Sydney's bare midriff bounces into view.
cindyjade: a navel trip
cindyjade: i wasn't just satisfied w/ her titis
cindyjade: i'm glad they are stepping up w/ her rock-hard abs too
Cesare: look trip she's dressed like a naughty schoolgirl
Cesare: choir boy Charlie would no doubt approve
cindyjade: maybe she runs into a church!
cindyjade: the lost connections never stop !
Cesare: RUN INTO A CHURCH SYDNEY
Cesare: BETTER YET
Cesare: RUN INTO CHARLIE
cindyjade: CHARLIE WANTS YOU TO
Cesare: trip if she runs into Charlie I will watch the rest of the show
cindyjade: outlook not good
Cesare: oh boy trip an upskirt shot
Sydney quickly makes up a fellow spy to look like a goth raver guy.
cindyjade: oh he's all goth trip
Cesare: she's so smart trip with such a canny grasp of subculture
cindyjade: really
Cesare: or perhaps she has seen one Marilyn Manson video in her life
Sydney changes into a completely different costume and wig from nowhere.
cindyjade: did she steal the other girl's hair?
Cesare: whoa I look away five seconds and she's in a totally different outfit
Cesare: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM
Cesare: DID SHE HAVE ALL THOSE OTHER CLOTHES SHOVED UP HER PERT SCHOOLGIRL ASS?
Other spies tattle on Sydney.
cindyjade: is there no honor anymore in the spy business?
cindyjade: POOR ANGELA BASSETT
cindyjade: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN REDUCED TO???
Cesare: yeah wtf was that cameo about
Cesare: maybe she traded it for a role in Elektra or something
cindyjade: more trains trip
cindyjade: do you see the connection
cindyjade: bad tv makes me sneeze
Cesare: trip television shows are supposed to be entertaining right
Cesare: not "vaguely taxing of patience"?
cindyjade: that's what i thought
Cesare: more Angela Bassett
Cesare: when's the last movie she was in
Cesare: how long has she been waiting to exhale
cindyjade: i'm supposed to be wow'd now right trip
Cesare: Sydney is very freshfaced
Cesare: Victor Garber!
Cesare: trip. apparently there is intrigue.
Cesare: evidently this is exciting or so the swell of music would have me believe
Cesare: so many wigs in the credits! and yet amazingly she looks EXACTLY THE SAME IN EACH DISGUISE
cindyjade: wot trip? i think i went comatose for a second there
Cesare: hee trip
cindyjade: when will you wear wigs
cindyjade: have you worn wigs
Cesare: heheee
Cesare: trip my mom rented Troy
cindyjade: rilly?
Cesare: she thought I would like to see it because Orlando Bloom is in it
cindyjade: sean bean was the best in it
cindyjade: haha
Cesare: I have not been vocal enough in my preferences
cindyjade: your mom knows you so well
cindyjade: trip omg
Cesare: ALL HOBBITZ ALL THE TIME PLIS
cindyjade: was that a bulge
cindyjade: that link
cindyjade: dom's towel
cindyjade: BULGE?
Cesare: it looked like it, didn't it?
Cesare: it is an unsolved mystery trip
Cesare: like the face on Mars or the Shroud of Turin
cindyjade: i am getting that DVD trip
cindyjade: someone bought for me
Cesare: oooooh
cindyjade: MINE
cindyjade: MY OWN
cindyjade: BULGE
Cesare: hey trip these people
Cesare: on this show
Cesare: I guess they are spies
cindyjade: you think trip?
cindyjade: i don't know
Cesare: that should be exciting right?
Cesare: SHOULD is the operative word
cindyjade: how did you come to that conclusion
Cesare: I also think possibly Sydney does not like that balding guy. possibly maybe perhaps?
Sydney says she has to go prep.
cindyjade: did she just announce she had to poo poo?
Cesare: prep trip
Cesare: PREP
cindyjade: oh
Cesare: *dies laughing*
Cesare: trip she's a spy
Cesare: shouldn't she have a better poker face?
Cesare: she is totally showing that Sloane guy that she is all upset and afraid
cindyjade: it's her I HAVE TO CRAP face trip
Cesare: ahahahaa
cindyjade: i don't think she's in a wig anymore trip
cindyjade: OR IS SHE
cindyjade: the real mystery
Cesare: bwah
Cesare: hey trip
Cesare: spies listen to Dido
Cesare: who knew
cindyjade: is that fucking dido?
cindyjade: haha trip
cindyjade: more trains
cindyjade: i am sensing a theme here trip
Cesare: we appear to have lapped ourselves trip
cindyjade: this show is putting my cats to sleep
cindyjade: n'aww
Cesare: she is blonde again
cindyjade: another bad accent trip
cindyjade: YAYE
Cesare: *refuckingjoices*
cindyjade: commercial yaye
cindyjade: oooh southpark
cindyjade: no more dumb show CARTOON IS ON
ETA
Cesare: alias is STILL on trip
Cesare: show nevah ends
cindyjade: wtf!
Cesare: poor Sydney!
Cesare: earlier she was angsting because her dad killed her mom
Cesare: now she is angsting because apparently her mom wanted to kill her
Cesare: and her dad killed her mom to save Sydney
Cesare: are you following all that trip?
Cesare: IT IS SAD OKAY
cindyjade: *coma*
Cesare: triptrip
Cesare: LOST in 7 min
cindyjade: TRIP WE WATCH TOGETHAH???
cindyjade: YAYE
cindyjade: *twirls*
Cesare: IT'S ON
cindyjade: YAYE
cindyjade: she can climb trees
Indeed, Kate is up a tree. Scary music begins as she hears rustling noises.
Cesare: suspense music
cindyjade: hee
cindyjade: ooh she's got a rock
The noises turn out to be...
Cesare: ahahaaaa
Cesare: it's Sawyer
cindyjade: heeeee
More rustling.
cindyjade: is it a waterfall?
cindyjade: I WAS RIGHT TRIP
Sawyer strips (NOT ENOUGH) and invites Kate to swim.
Cesare: He didn't take his pants off! wtf
cindyjade: he's SHY trip
Cesare: yay lighthearted swimming SHUT UP WHAT HAPPENED TO CLAIRE
They find bodies underwater.
Cesare: oh come ON this is just stupidly ... oh fuck
cindyjade: omg
Cesare: I knew it
cindyjade: haha
cindyjade: how did they end over there seriously trip
cindyjade: wtf
Cesare: I was about to type "this is just stupidly upbeat, you know something horrible is going to happen" :D
cindyjade: hee
cindyjade: i thought they were going to be just dead people
cindyjade: NOT DEAD PEOPLE IN PLANE SEATS
Commercial break.
Cesare: Alias looks kind of dumb
cindyjade: i've never seen it
Cesare: I haven't either
But we will! For now though, Lost comes back from the break. Sawyer and Kate get a briefcase from the plane seats o' dead folk.
cindyjade: gross
Cesare: this is nice underwater filming
cindyjade: wot is the briefcase
Cesare: I dunno
cindyjade: predict trip
cindyjade: you are so good at it
Cesare: actually I saw spoilers
Cesare: so it wouldn't be fair
cindyjade: TELL ME I'M TOO IMPATIENT OMG
Cesare: ALL I KNOW IS THAT KATE DOESN'T WANT IT OPEN
Cesare: BC IT'S SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER FUGITIVE PAST
cindyjade: oh
cindyjade: I KINDA FIGURED THAT TRIP
cindyjade: poor claire still missing
Cesare: *cries!*
cindyjade: maybe they will find her by the end of the season trip
cindyjade: *holds you*
Cesare: Claaaaaaaaaaaaaire
cindyjade: SAGSLDGKHA;LSDFJ
cindyjade: ANGSTY DOM OMG
Cesare: wot where
cindyjade: did you see him looking off into nowhere trip?
cindyjade: all angsty
Cesare: no
Cesare: omg
Cesare: where
cindyjade: OMG!
Cesare: on the beach?
cindyjade: jack gestured to him
cindyjade: yis
Cesare: oh
Cesare: I missed
cindyjade: and he was just staring at the sky like
cindyjade: claaaaaaaaaaaaaaire
Flashbacks.
cindyjade: MORE KATE BACKSTORY WHY
cindyjade: she's so pretty trip
Cesare: she is!
Cesare: she's in league with those bank robber guys I bet
cindyjade: no. but i bet she steals the money
cindyjade: like
cindyjade: they die and she walks off with it
cindyjade: or something
After telling Sawyer he can keep the Briefcase of Plot Pointiness, Kate the Good tries to steal it from him while he sleeps, leading to a UST-heavy clinch as they grapple with each other.
Cesare: wtf this is dumb
cindyjade: agreed
Kate headbutts Sawyer.
Cesare: AHAHA
cindyjade: she headbutted!
cindyjade: haha
Cesare: headbutt makes it okay
cindyjade: HEE I AGREE TRIP
And then, the beach!
Cesare: bikini Shannon
Cesare: Sayid hot!
Cesare: Sawyer's hair was nicer earlier in the show
Cesare: it's getting too long now
cindyjade: yeah. mulletish
cindyjade: hee! hurley
Cesare: Ian pretteh
cindyjade: yis
cindyjade: FINALLY
Charlie! He gets a scolding from Rose, the older black lady who thinks her husband is still alive. She's on his case about him moping instead of helping to carry shit, or something.
Cesare: Charlie being chided
Cesare: lady, his neck is still BLOODY FROM BEING HANGED
Cesare: cut the guy some freaking slack
cindyjade: he's all wounded trip
cindyjade: LOL
cindyjade: no shit
Meanwhile in the jungle, Sawyer climbs a tree and drops the briefcase from a great height trying to break it open. Kate darts out and steals it while Sawyer's still up the tree.
Cesare: haaa
cindyjade: hahaha
cindyjade: that was awesome
Sawyer chases Kate.
Cesare: how are they running that fast!? aren't they gonna get lost
Cesare: ...loster
cindyjade: ha trip
cindyjade: he'll give it to you for a BEEJAYE Kate
Kate tries to get Jack to help her find the key to the briefcase. They have to dig up the dead marshal to find it in his wallet. Kate won't tell Jack why she wants the case so bad.
Cesare: Jesus Kate, just LIE about what's in it!
Cesare: She must have been the shittiest fugitive EVER
cindyjade: ahahahahha
cindyjade: she's not too bright
More flashbacks! Kate the Good is at the bank robbery and a gun slides toward her. She picks it up and aims at a robber.
Cesare: OH GOD is this why she's a fugitive? all a big mistake?
Cesare: that would be SO LAME
cindyjade: SHE'S SO GOOD TRIP
cindyjade: she cannae even shoot a criminal
...except it turns out Kate is in league with the robbers who are now pretending she's a hostage.
Cesare: YES I WAS RIGHT
cindyjade: omg
cindyjade: YOU WERE
Cesare: TOLD YOU
cindyjade: OMG
cindyjade: DID YOU READ SPOILERS TRIP
Cesare: NO
Cesare: I'm just smart trip :D
cindyjade: the lack of charlie in this episode is appalling
Cesare: there bettah be more later
cindyjade: more shots of his bloody neck plis
Cesare: yeah like the strain of carrying shit should make it bleed
Cesare: and that lady can feel all bad for scolding him
cindyjade: oof trip. that's yummy
cindyjade: *licks him*
cindyjade: i bet her sob stories don't involve being HANGED and left for DEAD omg
Cesare: no shit!
Cesare: wtf how long was his brain w/out oxygen?
Cesare: he's not in mourning lady he's trying to RECOVER SYNAPSES
cindyjade: *humps his neurons back to life!*
Cesare: ahahaaa
cindyjade: sayid's nails are too long
cindyjade: MOST FOUL
Sun and Jack are trying to communicate.
Cesare: oooh Sun
cindyjade: you can speak english hello
Cesare: she can't let anyone know
Cesare: AHAHAHA JACK when Kate says "We have a problem."
Cesare: He says, "We have a problem? Or you have a problem?" haha
Cesare: That's the best Jack line evah
cindyjade: it was pretty good
cindyjade: OH NO THEY TELL STORY IN FRONT OF SEKRIT ENGLISH SPEAKING LADY!
cindyjade: the plot thickens
Cesare: awesome
Kate the Good is shifty but convinces Jack they need to dig up the marshal and get the keys to the Suitcase of Plot Pointiness.
Cesare: Kate's so totally lying about what's in that thing.
cindyjade: to get him to help
cindyjade: she's crafty
cindyjade: ew
cindyjade: she's going to dig up dead carcass
Cesare: yep yep
Cesare: we need more bodies this episode
Cesare: two skanky fish eaten corpses just didn't make quota
cindyjade: YAYE CHARLIE
Cesare: his neck is so hurt!
cindyjade: omg!
Rose says she knows Charlie came very close to dying in the previous episode.
Cesare: very close to dying? LADY HE WAS DEAD
Cesare: HE WAS SO TOTALLY DEAD
cindyjade: haha trip
cindyjade: he's going to cry!
cindyjade: i will come
In her backstory, Kate gives her name as Maggie.
Cesare: Maggie :D
Cesare: I like how Sawyer and Kate both haven't given their real names
cindyjade: me too :D
Present day: Kate and Jack dig up the marshal.
Cesare: yay rotty marshal body
cindyjade: maggots
cindyjade: score
Cesare: ew ew ew
Cesare: HA TRIP
Kate tries to steal the key under Jack's nose.
cindyjade: haha
cindyjade: no key
cindyjade: she's got in her palm
cindyjade: TRICKSY
cindyjade: MAGGOTS ON HER JACKETSES
Cesare: why would anyone ever want Jack and Kate to hook up?
Cesare: not only is Jack inexplicably SUPER BORING
cindyjade: you need any other reason?
Cesare: but he doesn't ever act like he likes her at all
cindyjade: yeah
Cesare: Not even as if he doesn't like her but he's attracted to her
Cesare: no
Cesare: not even like he's attracted!
cindyjade: maybe his cock got injured in plane crash trip
Cesare: bwah
Cesare: plus she's all throwing herself at him, but she's scheming! who else would you try to hook up with if you were smart in this situation? THE HERO DOCTOR
Commercials.
cindyjade: alias = WHO CARES
Shannon is sad.
Cesare: tearful Shannon! WOE
Cesare: SHE HAS INNER PAIN
cindyjade: oh pretty blonde girl angst
cindyjade: N'AWW
cindyjade: *rolls eyes*
Jack tries to get the suitcase from Saywer.
Cesare: Jack and Sawyer have more chemistry than Jack and Kate
cindyjade: he's gonna give it to you....FOR A BEEJAYE
cindyjade: YES
cindyjade: i would like jack more if he did heroic things to sawyer's crotch
Cesare: :D
Kate flashbacks.
Cesare: Haaa, "my name's not Maggie"
Cesare: I bet they do a backstory episode with her where she hangs out with the Alias chick
Cesare: when is someone going to write Sydney/Kate femmeslash, that's what I want to know
Kate has evidently gone to a lot of trouble to team up with these bank robbers just to get a safe deposit box that contains... a toy plane.
cindyjade: ....
cindyjade: wtf
cindyjade: it's a toy plane?
Cesare: seriously.
Cesare: this could not be more w. t. f.
cindyjade: i raise you that with a WHAT. EVAH.
Cesare: Evangeline is good at freaking out and crying, I'll give her that.
Cesare: not. enough. Charlie.
cindyjade: word trip
Cesare: HELLO? TV? MORE CHARLIE KTHX
cindyjade: AUDIENCE 99 % FANGIRLS HELLO
Cesare: ahahaaa
Cesare: that may be overestimating a tad trip :D
cindyjade: okay. 98.999999999999999999
cindyjade: i rounded up
Commercials.
cindyjade: fuck off w/ the alias SOME OF US DON'T CARE
Cesare: trip
Cesare: I'm not sure
Cesare: but I'm starting to think maybe Alias will be on after Lost
Cesare: it's just this feeling I get
cindyjade: hahaha
cindyjade: trip i laugh
cindyjade: it frighten the cats
cindyjade: *laughs*
Cesare: poor kittehs
cindyjade: you know it's sad when a bachorlette commercial is less annoying
The beach!
cindyjade: doggie!
Cesare: okay Lost
Cesare: you have a last chance!
Cesare: PONY UP WITH MORE CHARLIE
Cesare: AGH NO DON'T WATCH HIM WALK BY
Cesare: FOLLOW HIM
Cesare: FOLLLLLLLLLLLOW
Cesare: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM
cindyjade: ...
cindyjade: CHARLIE
Cesare: YES LIKE THAT!
Cesare: his arms trip
cindyjade: A;LSDKGHALS;DJF
cindyjade: LIT BY FIRELIGHT
cindyjade: EAR TRIP
Cesare: woeful face!
Charlie breaks down in tears.
cindyjade: omg
Cesare: trip take all the time you need
cindyjade: omg
cindyjade: i think i just came a little
Cesare: Charlie is so totally going to find religion again, I knew it
Cesare: he's going to end up like, a priest
cindyjade: HELP ME FOR I HATH SINNED
Cesare: trip I can't BELIEVE it, my tape ended right in the middle of Charlie crying and breaking down
cindyjade: ............
cindyjade: NO TRIP
Cesare: yes
Cesare: WOE
cindyjade: *holds you*
Cesare: fuk u longing looks between jack and kate
Cesare: WTF IS UP WITH THAT TOY MOTHERFUCKING PLANE
cindyjade: WHO CARES
cindyjade: MORE CHARLIE PLIS
Next week on Lost:
Cesare: ahahaha Sayid!
Cesare: putting Boone in his place in preview
Cesare: nise
Lost ends, but what's this? Apparently there is another show on next! It's called Alias!
Cesare: hey trip
Cesare: you'll never guess what's on next
cindyjade: triptrip
cindyjade: what's this trip?
cindyjade: a new show?
cindyjade: some chick is in it
cindyjade: and look she's half nekkid so i guess i won't change channel
cindyjade: and speaking w/ accent
cindyjade: marketing geniuses *watches*
Cesare: she is doing an accent trip
Cesare: where is it from, I can't place it
Cesare: it sounds like she is from DUMBSYLVANIA
cindyjade: i don't think she is who she pretends to be trip
cindyjade: i'm getting this feeling
cindyjade: also, hahaha
Cesare: trip when a beautiful girl like this comes onto a guy with classified info
Cesare: that guy with classified info instantly knows what is up
Cesare: they are from an alternative universe of stupid
cindyjade: i don't even think that is her real hair trip
cindyjade: THREE DOTS TRIP HOW CLASSIFIED
cindyjade: THREE DOTS OF EVIL
Cesare: wtf what is their relationship to each other supposed to be that he just SHOWS her this shit
Cesare: trip she hit him and stole his secret thing
Cesare: I AM SO SURPRISED
cindyjade: ow trip my head hurts
cindyjade: the rolling of the eyes
Cesare: *pets you* poor trip
cindyjade: I AM SHOCKED TRIP
Cesare: take comfort in her breasts and blonde wig trip
Cesare: she offers them for this purpose
cindyjade: hahaha
cindyjade: NOW THERE ARE PEOPLE CHASING HER!
cindyjade: *GASP*
Cesare: look trip she has a suitcase
cindyjade: she wields it like strider
Cesare: on Lost, Kate had a suitcase
Cesare: YOU SEE WHY IF YOU LIKE LOST YOU WILL LIKE ALIAS
Cesare: SUITCASE FANS THE WORLD OVER, REJOICE
cindyjade: they should be slashed you are right
cindyjade: *LAFFS*
cindyjade: <3
Sydney hangs by a rope from the side of the train.
cindyjade: outlook not good
cindyjade: is she gonna die trip
cindyjade: maybe she has nine lives
Cesare: I do not understand the mechanics of him cutting this rope in several places and her falling just a little bit each time
The evil guy takes a long time to cut the last section of rope.
cindyjade: it didn't take him that long to cut the first two wtf
Cesare: oh boy trip
Cesare: now we go back in time to show how she got in danger
Cesare: WE WILL BE LEFT IN SUSPENSE LO THESE TWO HOURS
Cesare: WILL SHE GET OUT OF IT ALIVE
Sydney's bare midriff bounces into view.
cindyjade: a navel trip
cindyjade: i wasn't just satisfied w/ her titis
cindyjade: i'm glad they are stepping up w/ her rock-hard abs too
Cesare: look trip she's dressed like a naughty schoolgirl
Cesare: choir boy Charlie would no doubt approve
cindyjade: maybe she runs into a church!
cindyjade: the lost connections never stop !
Cesare: RUN INTO A CHURCH SYDNEY
Cesare: BETTER YET
Cesare: RUN INTO CHARLIE
cindyjade: CHARLIE WANTS YOU TO
Cesare: trip if she runs into Charlie I will watch the rest of the show
cindyjade: outlook not good
Cesare: oh boy trip an upskirt shot
Sydney quickly makes up a fellow spy to look like a goth raver guy.
cindyjade: oh he's all goth trip
Cesare: she's so smart trip with such a canny grasp of subculture
cindyjade: really
Cesare: or perhaps she has seen one Marilyn Manson video in her life
Sydney changes into a completely different costume and wig from nowhere.
cindyjade: did she steal the other girl's hair?
Cesare: whoa I look away five seconds and she's in a totally different outfit
Cesare: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM
Cesare: DID SHE HAVE ALL THOSE OTHER CLOTHES SHOVED UP HER PERT SCHOOLGIRL ASS?
Other spies tattle on Sydney.
cindyjade: is there no honor anymore in the spy business?
cindyjade: POOR ANGELA BASSETT
cindyjade: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN REDUCED TO???
Cesare: yeah wtf was that cameo about
Cesare: maybe she traded it for a role in Elektra or something
cindyjade: more trains trip
cindyjade: do you see the connection
cindyjade: bad tv makes me sneeze
Cesare: trip television shows are supposed to be entertaining right
Cesare: not "vaguely taxing of patience"?
cindyjade: that's what i thought
Cesare: more Angela Bassett
Cesare: when's the last movie she was in
Cesare: how long has she been waiting to exhale
cindyjade: i'm supposed to be wow'd now right trip
Cesare: Sydney is very freshfaced
Cesare: Victor Garber!
Cesare: trip. apparently there is intrigue.
Cesare: evidently this is exciting or so the swell of music would have me believe
Cesare: so many wigs in the credits! and yet amazingly she looks EXACTLY THE SAME IN EACH DISGUISE
cindyjade: wot trip? i think i went comatose for a second there
Cesare: hee trip
cindyjade: when will you wear wigs
cindyjade: have you worn wigs
Cesare: heheee
Cesare: trip my mom rented Troy
cindyjade: rilly?
Cesare: she thought I would like to see it because Orlando Bloom is in it
cindyjade: sean bean was the best in it
cindyjade: haha
Cesare: I have not been vocal enough in my preferences
cindyjade: your mom knows you so well
cindyjade: trip omg
Cesare: ALL HOBBITZ ALL THE TIME PLIS
cindyjade: was that a bulge
cindyjade: that link
cindyjade: dom's towel
cindyjade: BULGE?
Cesare: it looked like it, didn't it?
Cesare: it is an unsolved mystery trip
Cesare: like the face on Mars or the Shroud of Turin
cindyjade: i am getting that DVD trip
cindyjade: someone bought for me
Cesare: oooooh
cindyjade: MINE
cindyjade: MY OWN
cindyjade: BULGE
Cesare: hey trip these people
Cesare: on this show
Cesare: I guess they are spies
cindyjade: you think trip?
cindyjade: i don't know
Cesare: that should be exciting right?
Cesare: SHOULD is the operative word
cindyjade: how did you come to that conclusion
Cesare: I also think possibly Sydney does not like that balding guy. possibly maybe perhaps?
Sydney says she has to go prep.
cindyjade: did she just announce she had to poo poo?
Cesare: prep trip
Cesare: PREP
cindyjade: oh
Cesare: *dies laughing*
Cesare: trip she's a spy
Cesare: shouldn't she have a better poker face?
Cesare: she is totally showing that Sloane guy that she is all upset and afraid
cindyjade: it's her I HAVE TO CRAP face trip
Cesare: ahahahaa
cindyjade: i don't think she's in a wig anymore trip
cindyjade: OR IS SHE
cindyjade: the real mystery
Cesare: bwah
Cesare: hey trip
Cesare: spies listen to Dido
Cesare: who knew
cindyjade: is that fucking dido?
cindyjade: haha trip
cindyjade: more trains
cindyjade: i am sensing a theme here trip
Cesare: we appear to have lapped ourselves trip
cindyjade: this show is putting my cats to sleep
cindyjade: n'aww
Cesare: she is blonde again
cindyjade: another bad accent trip
cindyjade: YAYE
Cesare: *refuckingjoices*
cindyjade: commercial yaye
cindyjade: oooh southpark
cindyjade: no more dumb show CARTOON IS ON
ETA
Cesare: alias is STILL on trip
Cesare: show nevah ends
cindyjade: wtf!
Cesare: poor Sydney!
Cesare: earlier she was angsting because her dad killed her mom
Cesare: now she is angsting because apparently her mom wanted to kill her
Cesare: and her dad killed her mom to save Sydney
Cesare: are you following all that trip?
Cesare: IT IS SAD OKAY
cindyjade: *coma*