Thoughts
Sitting crosslegged on the floor of the garage, Scud turns one of the girls' toys around and around in his hands: it's a miniature carousel, and the wind up music box inside the center is broken. He doesn't want to break it to get inside, but cutting and repairing the base will be a task he'll want to be very careful about. And so he's procrastinating a little, absently turning the silent horses as he thinks about what happened to Gabe.
It might be simplest, if he doesn't remember, to let it remain that way. The pard's closeness inevitably gives rise to tumultuous problems, and keeping their relationship confined to one realm might lessen the stress. Scud has to admit, though, that he has ... willpower problems. Even now he twitches a little, thinking about what he'd be giving up. There isn't anybody else like Gabe for him, and if there were, that'd be a pretty big problem all by itself.
He shivers and puts the carousel down, hand splayed protectively over the plastic awning. No, he could never manage it. Just being close to or around Gabe isn't enough, not when half the house will be wearing his scent, his marks. Scud's alone but he still flushes when confronted with his own need for submission, so at odds with his attitude towards the rest of life. It has to do with safety, with sex, with family ... but he's not going to examine this bullshit closely, there's no point. Instead, he picks up the carousel, and sets to work.
It might be simplest, if he doesn't remember, to let it remain that way. The pard's closeness inevitably gives rise to tumultuous problems, and keeping their relationship confined to one realm might lessen the stress. Scud has to admit, though, that he has ... willpower problems. Even now he twitches a little, thinking about what he'd be giving up. There isn't anybody else like Gabe for him, and if there were, that'd be a pretty big problem all by itself.
He shivers and puts the carousel down, hand splayed protectively over the plastic awning. No, he could never manage it. Just being close to or around Gabe isn't enough, not when half the house will be wearing his scent, his marks. Scud's alone but he still flushes when confronted with his own need for submission, so at odds with his attitude towards the rest of life. It has to do with safety, with sex, with family ... but he's not going to examine this bullshit closely, there's no point. Instead, he picks up the carousel, and sets to work.