(no subject)
sometimes I believe all the lies so I can do the things I know I despise. Everyday I'm swayed by wahtever I have on my mind. My faith is like shifting sand... changed by every single wave.
God, it's been a month since I've some to you. Sure, I've prayed and it's been truly genuine and real but maybe if I stopped blocking the door to your voice by not reading your Word... I would make better choices. Standing on the stability of my own wisdom.. .I fall every time. Shifting sand. I need you God. I know I do.
You deserve so much more than my leftovers. And thats exactly what I'm giving you. But the fringes... the fringes of your robe are more than enough. They're too much actually. But I dont care. I want it all. I want to much. I'm so hungry for all of you.
I mistake my happiness for blessings.
Keep it coming. Conviction.
Keep me guessing. I'm so idle and the funny thing is that I'm fooling myself b.c I talk ABOUT you and how wonderful you are. But I have not been continuing to seek it so that I can daily experience it. I've been running to everything BUT you.
THAT IS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME!!!!!!
How do I expect you to speak to me about Nathan if I shut my ears by nto even opening the Scriptures in private settings. How so I expect you to speak to me about my family, about my friends, about work, about church, about classes, about finances, about Indonesia, about ministries, about everything. ABOUT LIFE!
This whole time...you've been watching and waiting and wanting me to run to you. TO YOU. I figure running to my friends is a channel to you. Which it can be. But not like this
Not like this.
Please forgive me for ignoring your gentle call to me. I do not get why it's so hard for me to go to you FIRST. No body can handle me or my issues beter than you. Not Brittany, not my mom, not Tami, not christina, not mrs sue, not Jo, not callie, not bethany, not nathan, not haley, not becky.... none of them!!!!!
Deuteronomy 33:27 says "The eternal God is your refuge and dwelling place and underneath are the everlasting arms."
whoa
Father... Daddy... ABBA... I need you now. I want to spend time with you again. I'm ready to choose your love over my love for the world. But you know me... I'm weak and frustrated with you and I need your help.
God I want and need and yearn for YOU to be the one that I RUN to when I'm celebrating, when I'm crying, when I'm hurting, when I'm stressing, when I'm laughing... So I'm coming back to you now.
Thank you so much that your arms are always open for your baby girl.
I am SOOOO lucky that I have a Daddy who's never too busy for me... who's never absent from me... and who ALWAYS wants to hold me.
I want to be near you.
I love you.
I need you.
Habakkuk.
whoa
God, it's been a month since I've some to you. Sure, I've prayed and it's been truly genuine and real but maybe if I stopped blocking the door to your voice by not reading your Word... I would make better choices. Standing on the stability of my own wisdom.. .I fall every time. Shifting sand. I need you God. I know I do.
You deserve so much more than my leftovers. And thats exactly what I'm giving you. But the fringes... the fringes of your robe are more than enough. They're too much actually. But I dont care. I want it all. I want to much. I'm so hungry for all of you.
I mistake my happiness for blessings.
Keep it coming. Conviction.
Keep me guessing. I'm so idle and the funny thing is that I'm fooling myself b.c I talk ABOUT you and how wonderful you are. But I have not been continuing to seek it so that I can daily experience it. I've been running to everything BUT you.
THAT IS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME!!!!!!
How do I expect you to speak to me about Nathan if I shut my ears by nto even opening the Scriptures in private settings. How so I expect you to speak to me about my family, about my friends, about work, about church, about classes, about finances, about Indonesia, about ministries, about everything. ABOUT LIFE!
This whole time...you've been watching and waiting and wanting me to run to you. TO YOU. I figure running to my friends is a channel to you. Which it can be. But not like this
Not like this.
Please forgive me for ignoring your gentle call to me. I do not get why it's so hard for me to go to you FIRST. No body can handle me or my issues beter than you. Not Brittany, not my mom, not Tami, not christina, not mrs sue, not Jo, not callie, not bethany, not nathan, not haley, not becky.... none of them!!!!!
Deuteronomy 33:27 says "The eternal God is your refuge and dwelling place and underneath are the everlasting arms."
whoa
Father... Daddy... ABBA... I need you now. I want to spend time with you again. I'm ready to choose your love over my love for the world. But you know me... I'm weak and frustrated with you and I need your help.
God I want and need and yearn for YOU to be the one that I RUN to when I'm celebrating, when I'm crying, when I'm hurting, when I'm stressing, when I'm laughing... So I'm coming back to you now.
Thank you so much that your arms are always open for your baby girl.
I am SOOOO lucky that I have a Daddy who's never too busy for me... who's never absent from me... and who ALWAYS wants to hold me.
I want to be near you.
I love you.
I need you.
Habakkuk.
whoa