I hate myself...

[almostbreathing]

Is there such a thing as being too aggressive? I never thought I’d reach that point, but I think I finally have. There’s a point where it’s sexy, and hot and wow, look at that she knows what she wants. And then it becomes woah, and desperate, and holy crap leave me alone. Why do I push so hard? Why can I not see a good thing when I have it? Why do I push a great situation over the edge and make it a bad one? I can’t help that I want him. I can’t help that I’m jealous of his other girls. I can’t help knowing that I was the only one and then he found others. I just want things to be perfect.

I just can’t help thinking that I had all of this and I threw it away.

I know this is cryptic, and I’m sorry…I’ll explain in time