This can't be happening...

[almostbreathing]

Could this be it?
Is it all over?
Did I fuck up again like I always do?

My heart hurts.
My arms ache.
I want to scream
But I can't do anything about it...

One word answers, that's all I get now...
"How are you?"
ok
"Are you mad?"
frustrated
"I love you"
yep.

I feel stuck and I don't know how to fix it.
I sacrificed so much, too much last year and now it may have all been for nothing...

I wish he'd just pick up the phone...