A well needed emotional release...
Ok, It’s not very often that I bitch on here but I think it’s time…
So yeah, I’ve been away from London and in turn Andrew for 4 months and yeah I missed him and yeah I still love him, but I really don’t understand him sometimes. When I offer to buy him dinner/breakfast/some sort of meal cuz I feel like having a nice meal out somewhere, I get told no and to “save me money”. But if he’s sleeping over and needs to leave from my place to go to work the next morning, I get asked if he can have food for his lunch. I’m sorry, I definitely just spent $90+ on groceries for myself. You know very well I can’t eat the caf rood in res anymore cuz it makes me sick so nay food I do eat, I need to cook myself. Why can you readily take that food and not go out for dinner with me? I realize you’re in debt. I realize you have no money. But have you SEEN how much money I ALREADY owe to the bank? Have you SEEN that I don’t drive a $30,000 car that has over $15,000 worth of unnecessary modifications done to it?
That’s another thing that bothers me. You bitch and moan about having no money. You KNOW that you spend about $200 a week on gas to get to back and forth from work. You KNOW you owe the bank and future shop and the car company money every month. You KNOW you have to buy cigarettes on top of all that SO WHY THE HELL DO YOU STILL BUY STUFF FOR YOUR CAR?!?! You’re not a professional driver. You’re not sponsored to race. You’re not even ALLOWED to race that car unless it’s at the track, which you have to PAY MONEY TO DO. And you don’t have money coming out of your ass to do it with!!!
You say you want to buy a house. You say you want to get married in 3 years when I’m out of school. You say you want to start a family, but how do you expect to do that if you have no money. I can tell you right now, any money I make when I get out of school is going towards paying off my debt and maybe car/insurance if I can afford it. It will be a long time before I can afford a house or a wedding. You know my parents can’t pay for any of it, even though they will try. You know you parents can pay for it, but your father is too cheap to do it. How do you expect any of these dreams to come true for us?
I wish you’d grow up. I wish you’d realize that we’re NOT married yet. We DON’T share everything yet. The other half of my bed is NOT for rent. Do NOT expect to stay here every night. You have your own house that you don’t pay for. I pay entirely too much for a single room and I don’t need a roommate. I know you missed me but I need my space. This year is very important that I do well in school. I’m going to barely have time to myself, and you need to understand that.
You need to believe me when I tell you things. Like when I tell you that it’s probably not a good idea to see me after working almost 30 hours straight until you get some sleep. Why you ask? Cuz you spend most of the time sleeping anyways!!! Go home, have a nap and then call me and I’ll be more than happy to hang out with you. Last year, I watched you sleep in MY bed more often than I actually did stuff with you. How many times did you sleep through dinner reservation, movies, bowling, and walks we were supposed to take? And what did you do when I woke you up? Asked me to let you go back to sleep. And I always did. How is that fair to me? Why should I sacrifice my time, my bed, my sleep, my everything to watch you sleep.
I don’t know what else to do or say. You know I love you, but sometimes I get frustrated because I don’t feel like you listen to me. No means no. Stop means stop. I have work to do means I can’t see you and I have class till 10 means you can’t sleep over. And none of this is anything new. We’ve talked about this before, but I guess I’m not important enough to you to listen to me…
Sorry for the rant guys…I just don’t know what to do…
~Nessa
So yeah, I’ve been away from London and in turn Andrew for 4 months and yeah I missed him and yeah I still love him, but I really don’t understand him sometimes. When I offer to buy him dinner/breakfast/some sort of meal cuz I feel like having a nice meal out somewhere, I get told no and to “save me money”. But if he’s sleeping over and needs to leave from my place to go to work the next morning, I get asked if he can have food for his lunch. I’m sorry, I definitely just spent $90+ on groceries for myself. You know very well I can’t eat the caf rood in res anymore cuz it makes me sick so nay food I do eat, I need to cook myself. Why can you readily take that food and not go out for dinner with me? I realize you’re in debt. I realize you have no money. But have you SEEN how much money I ALREADY owe to the bank? Have you SEEN that I don’t drive a $30,000 car that has over $15,000 worth of unnecessary modifications done to it?
That’s another thing that bothers me. You bitch and moan about having no money. You KNOW that you spend about $200 a week on gas to get to back and forth from work. You KNOW you owe the bank and future shop and the car company money every month. You KNOW you have to buy cigarettes on top of all that SO WHY THE HELL DO YOU STILL BUY STUFF FOR YOUR CAR?!?! You’re not a professional driver. You’re not sponsored to race. You’re not even ALLOWED to race that car unless it’s at the track, which you have to PAY MONEY TO DO. And you don’t have money coming out of your ass to do it with!!!
You say you want to buy a house. You say you want to get married in 3 years when I’m out of school. You say you want to start a family, but how do you expect to do that if you have no money. I can tell you right now, any money I make when I get out of school is going towards paying off my debt and maybe car/insurance if I can afford it. It will be a long time before I can afford a house or a wedding. You know my parents can’t pay for any of it, even though they will try. You know you parents can pay for it, but your father is too cheap to do it. How do you expect any of these dreams to come true for us?
I wish you’d grow up. I wish you’d realize that we’re NOT married yet. We DON’T share everything yet. The other half of my bed is NOT for rent. Do NOT expect to stay here every night. You have your own house that you don’t pay for. I pay entirely too much for a single room and I don’t need a roommate. I know you missed me but I need my space. This year is very important that I do well in school. I’m going to barely have time to myself, and you need to understand that.
You need to believe me when I tell you things. Like when I tell you that it’s probably not a good idea to see me after working almost 30 hours straight until you get some sleep. Why you ask? Cuz you spend most of the time sleeping anyways!!! Go home, have a nap and then call me and I’ll be more than happy to hang out with you. Last year, I watched you sleep in MY bed more often than I actually did stuff with you. How many times did you sleep through dinner reservation, movies, bowling, and walks we were supposed to take? And what did you do when I woke you up? Asked me to let you go back to sleep. And I always did. How is that fair to me? Why should I sacrifice my time, my bed, my sleep, my everything to watch you sleep.
I don’t know what else to do or say. You know I love you, but sometimes I get frustrated because I don’t feel like you listen to me. No means no. Stop means stop. I have work to do means I can’t see you and I have class till 10 means you can’t sleep over. And none of this is anything new. We’ve talked about this before, but I guess I’m not important enough to you to listen to me…
Sorry for the rant guys…I just don’t know what to do…
~Nessa