(no subject)
So, this is mainly just for me, because I've been in the mood to create lists and sort out thoughts.
So this summer, if I don't fuck up my current internship too much (which is a possibility, being that some of the paperwork still isn't completed), I may be helping create a three week day camp for 5th graders in the Beloit Community. I will be teaching "Ecological Literacy", IE how to understand and "read" nature. It's pretty sweet, but incredibly scary. I mean, this is one of those things that I may actually want to pursue as a career. And it sounds silly, but I almost don't want to run it just 'cause it may end up being a bust. I guess I'm just scared it's going to suck, and I'm not capable of running anything.
For the rest of the summer I'm going to be at home, babysitting for some family friends (two girls and a boy, between the ages of 14 and 9). The main reason they want someone at the house is because of of the girls has some serious health problems. She also likes to play Scrabble. It's going to be a fantastic cakewalk of a job. I might also brush up on my sweet janitorial skills and clean my church during the summer.
I just filled out my FAFSA, in which I realized, yet again, that I am going to have to take out loans to pay for my last semester at school, because my college fund has dried up. This has me in a serious state of panic, because I am not going to make close to enough over the summer to pay for school. PLUS, I keep thinking that I'm going to need to get a car soon. REAL SOON. Because I can't keep mooching off my parents (I mean, I can, but it is really inconvenient for all of us). I keep thinking that I should try and get a car this summer, considering that my sister will also be home and probably employed. On the other hand, I will have to seriously figure out how I will pay for insurance while I'm at school, considering that all the phat cash I make up there goes straight to tuition.
And after all this, I'm definitely moving the fuck home and my parents are just going to have to deal with that. I need those handful of months after I graduate in December to get my shit together, and work and play. I do not want to have to think. I do not want to have a job right away in the field I have studied. I miss my family. I miss Michigan. I miss having all my shit in one place.
As always, I regularly come back to the much repeated frustrations of how my life is panning out right now. Half of it is fantastic. Coming out to my parents this summer was a huge stress relief. I have a fucking fantastic group of friends, both at home and at school. I love being overly social at home, meeting new people and going out to clubs. School is frustrating the hell out of me. I think it's mainly 1) still having a semester left and really wishing I didn't and 2) all the loans I'm going to have to pay off after I graduate. That shit scares me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life paying for school, constantly being reminded of my past every month when I pay my bills.
I just want a job in which I can pay my bills and have a horribly active social life. Some days I fear my liberal arts education is going to go to waste, 'cause all I really want to do is waitress or bartend. Or maybe substitute teach.
Fuck...
Juli
So this summer, if I don't fuck up my current internship too much (which is a possibility, being that some of the paperwork still isn't completed), I may be helping create a three week day camp for 5th graders in the Beloit Community. I will be teaching "Ecological Literacy", IE how to understand and "read" nature. It's pretty sweet, but incredibly scary. I mean, this is one of those things that I may actually want to pursue as a career. And it sounds silly, but I almost don't want to run it just 'cause it may end up being a bust. I guess I'm just scared it's going to suck, and I'm not capable of running anything.
For the rest of the summer I'm going to be at home, babysitting for some family friends (two girls and a boy, between the ages of 14 and 9). The main reason they want someone at the house is because of of the girls has some serious health problems. She also likes to play Scrabble. It's going to be a fantastic cakewalk of a job. I might also brush up on my sweet janitorial skills and clean my church during the summer.
I just filled out my FAFSA, in which I realized, yet again, that I am going to have to take out loans to pay for my last semester at school, because my college fund has dried up. This has me in a serious state of panic, because I am not going to make close to enough over the summer to pay for school. PLUS, I keep thinking that I'm going to need to get a car soon. REAL SOON. Because I can't keep mooching off my parents (I mean, I can, but it is really inconvenient for all of us). I keep thinking that I should try and get a car this summer, considering that my sister will also be home and probably employed. On the other hand, I will have to seriously figure out how I will pay for insurance while I'm at school, considering that all the phat cash I make up there goes straight to tuition.
And after all this, I'm definitely moving the fuck home and my parents are just going to have to deal with that. I need those handful of months after I graduate in December to get my shit together, and work and play. I do not want to have to think. I do not want to have a job right away in the field I have studied. I miss my family. I miss Michigan. I miss having all my shit in one place.
As always, I regularly come back to the much repeated frustrations of how my life is panning out right now. Half of it is fantastic. Coming out to my parents this summer was a huge stress relief. I have a fucking fantastic group of friends, both at home and at school. I love being overly social at home, meeting new people and going out to clubs. School is frustrating the hell out of me. I think it's mainly 1) still having a semester left and really wishing I didn't and 2) all the loans I'm going to have to pay off after I graduate. That shit scares me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life paying for school, constantly being reminded of my past every month when I pay my bills.
I just want a job in which I can pay my bills and have a horribly active social life. Some days I fear my liberal arts education is going to go to waste, 'cause all I really want to do is waitress or bartend. Or maybe substitute teach.
Fuck...
Juli