CJV
I spent last night struggling with my mind, attempting to just feel the sensation of his fingers in all the right spots on my body. his lips, brushing across my skin, the bits of moisture on my neck, his weight on my hips. I wanted it to feel good. He said the right things, and laughed when he should have. It was light, and fun, as it should have been considering I hadn't seen in in several months. But i couldn't feel it. My mind kept blocking me. I knew how to get him, I wanted to, he wanted me to. I knew where, how much and how fast, and yet... I couldn't. we lay together, and he held me. He did everything that i would want from someone i loved. But i felt no love. I felt no attraction. i felt duty to please, want to please, but no love. I thought about other boys. and i hope to god i can feel it when i am with them. If I am with them.
He looked like my dad
He looked like my dad