Noble when I'm feeling her blush all the way across the table and wanting to brush fingers across her cheek. I don't think so. She's just a girl. She's not Buffy, I remind myself. And who said anything about this being anything more than a one time meeting? I don't know why I'm making this harder than it has to be.
Just as I'm convincing myself to relax and 'go with the flow' as Cordy says, Tara starts saying she should leave! Her wide eyes look up from her wrist, and I find myself staring again, watching her smile and brush her hair, in that way that only women seem to be able to do. They've really got to be equipped with some kind of magic from birth or something, I swear. When Darla used to do that-
Wait, what? She's really leaving? What happened to keeping me company? I glance around for Lorne and see him still deeply engrossed in conversation. So much for answers. I turn just in time to catch her smile and see her start to make her way across the bar floor.
Quickly shrugging on my duster, I come up behind her before she can leave the club, saying, "Tara," softly, before putting my hand on her arm so I don't scare her. "Tara, you...probably shouldn't go home alone." I frown, realizing my words, and trying again, "I mean, would you mind if I walked you home? Or drove you..." I add tentatively, knowing just how creepy I sound inviting a girl alone to take a ride in my car.
"Los Angeles can be...a little rough if you aren't familiar with it," I say, floundering for some words that don't make me sound so creepy. Especially, at night, I think to myself, trying to let my eyes do more of the talking. I'm really not good with the whole using words thing.
There's a hand on my shoulder and I jump slightly, turning to see Angel standing above me. He stumbles over his words and I know they're meant to soothe me somewhat, but they make me feel a bit on edge.
I can't shake the feeling that he knows a bit more than I'm willing to ask or he's willing to tell me. I'm not sure if I'll get or want the chance to find out.
Angel looks at me intently and part of me wants to say no, but I don't and I nod quietly. "Alright...b-but I don't live too far so um...I don't mind walking." I didn't know how comfortable I felt going in a strange persons car; even if they were a friend of Lorne's. Then again, I didn't know Lorne all that well either.
I fix my scarf and dig my hands into my pockets, glancing up at Angel as we stand near the door. "I'm okay if...if you don't want to w-walk; I've walked alone before." Not in LA and I had a feeling it was a lot different out here than it was in Sunnydale.
Huh, I guess I don't notice it with Cordy any more, but it feels strange to have someone look up at me. With Wes around, I don't tower as much as I did in Sunnydale with just Buffy, or her, Willow, and Xander. Even Faith.
She feels...nervous under my hand - a different nervous than at the table - and I really want to know if that's because of me, or...something else. Please let it be anything else.
"Walking sounds good," I say gently, again trying out that smiling thing, really not wanting to spook her again. I also get the bright idea to let go of her arm, but my hand still seems to go to her back as we walk up the stairs and out of Caritas. Alright. Well. Pulling my hand away and stuffing it in my pocket, I walk next to her. "I like walking at night," I say without thinking, and then cringing as I realize, I've just told her that walking around Los Angeles at night is not a good idea. Well...most things I do aren't a good idea, I guess you might say.
"Any reason you chose L.A.? I mean, I know UCLA's a pretty good school," I ramble, "but do you have family here or something?" I say a little hopefully, thinking of my own tiny family back at Cordy's apartment. This conversation thing is rough, especially when we're both...not exactly fluent in social small talk it seems.
I guess maybe I should ask her what the heck she was doing in Lorne's club looking for a job and seeming for all the world not to notice the demons skulking around. She didn't gawk like a first-timer. She definitely seems to know the world. Yeah, I'll have to ask. But maybe later.
"Okay." I smile kindly at him and we head out of the club, the gentle pressure of his hand on my back for a moment until we head out from the door's of the club. The cold night air hits my face and I tighten the scarf around my neck and curl into myself as much as I can and digging my hands into my pockets as we walk.
There's a moment I second guess leading a strange man to my apartment and I realize that there is a building on the other side who shares a parking lot so I can lead him there and head into my place after he leaves.
Angel speaks and I turn towards him before looking back down the street; realizing he does something I seem to do when I feel awkward and nervous - babble. "It's very different than what I grew up with," I answer him. "I d-don't...I don't have family. My..." I let my voice trail off and I realise I'm not ready to tell a stranger about my mother; it was hard to tell Willow even after everything good that had happened. "It's just me." I finally finish, shrugging. "What about you? What brings you and your b-business to L.A.?"
I don't even notice that it's cold out until I see Tara scrunch down in her jacket and scarf from the corner of my eye. I'm guessing walking around with my coat open might seem kind of weird. She probably won't even notice. Besides, who says I'm going to see her again. Well, except we might be going to Lorne's more often, I guess...if I had gotten a reading.
I listen to her quietly, processing details as she goes. Alone in the world. That sounds familiar. She'd fit right in with Wes and Cordy. And she must not be used to a big city. If I were somebody else, I'd be hoping right now that she'd say no to me walking her home. L.A. is no place to be naive.
"L.A.'s got a dark underbelly, like most big cities. Unfortunately, a good place for my line of work." I shrug at her, feeling myself relax now that we're outside and not in a crowded place with other people around. "Plus...I've kind of been around a lot. L.A. seemed like as good of a place as any. Feels like my town more now that I've been here awhile." I give her a sort of half smile as we walk.
"So, uhh, I have to ask... What were you doing at Lorne's? I mean, most humans don't go to Caritas looking for jobs...or readings." I'm still fairly certain she's human, not that I've really taken a whiff yet, but still. There's a definite heartbeat, and breathing. Who knows though.
Angel starts talking about the 'dark side' of L.A. and I find myself wondering what he was getting at and how much he knew about what we saw at Lorne's club. I wondered how he learned and...
I couldn't even dare to think that maybe I'd found someone I could share this part of my life with - as a friend that is. But I couldn't tell anyone about my family or what happened when my birthday comes.
Here comes the big question. I'm not sure how I feel about that but it's good that it's out there. I don't think I'm bold enough to dodge it or put it back on him. Maybe I'll just be honest and hope it doesn't sound like babble. "My mother..." I paused and tried to think carefully of my words. "I've never f-fit in anywhere and I've known and..." I can't exactly tell him that I'm a witch, maybe even a demon. "I've always known t-that there were demons and..." I shrug and look up at him. "It's a job. What about you?" I ask him without missing a beat.
I seem to have hit a nerve, or a sore spot...or something. I don't know, but I listen patiently as she tries to explain. I'm no stranger to difficult explanations.
I'm surprised when she throws the question back at me until I realize, duh, she doesn't know I'm one of those things that were in there. "Oh, I, uhh, my clients..." I pause, looking over at her, wondering how much I should let her in on. Just because she knows about demons... never f-fit in anywhere ...doesn't mean she's going to be a big fan of vampires. We're not exactly usually the friendly sort.
"My clients are usually having trouble with demons or the mystical or something. We're kind of a place to look when the police can't help you," I finish with a little bit of pride in my voice. I may not be a fan of the The Powers' methods, but I am proud of what we do. Proud that we can help people when they need it. "I was supposed to get a reading from Lorne tonight. Needed a little help of our own. My team and I," I add, realizing I'm saying we a lot. I guess I could be a little more forthcoming...
"We're really more like friends actually, or a weird sort of family," I smile over at her. "None of us ever really fit in anywhere either." Well, okay, Cordelia did in high school, but with these visions, she's pretty much just like the rest of us.
The more he talks the more at ease I find myself; I don't exactly know why but I do. It's the way he says things, the things he says; someone making up a story wouldn't be as tedious as he was being with his choice of words.
"It's good to have a p-place like that. I know w-what..." I know what it's like to have nowhere to go. "W-what did you need a reading for?" I question carefully, worried that he would think I was too bold. I found myself wondering what his take on magic and witches was.
Never know until you try...
"W-what is your thought about magic?" I ask curiously, making it sound calm and casual like I wanted to have a thoughtful conversation with him. "I'm c-curious to know wh-what you think about that sort of stuff." I smile and nod at his mention of family being made up of friends and when things were good with Willow...I thought she was family.
I look back at Angel. "I'm curious, if you-you're comfortable w-with that."
I smile back at her, glad she thinks what I do isn't a waste even if it's not the complete truth. The reading I can't really tell her. Oh, I'm trying to figure out if I'm really fated to become human again, and if I'm on the right path to do that. Yeah. "We've been following this lead, but...it's not really getting us to the right place. Thought maybe Lorne could tell if we're on the right track," I say carefully.
Comfortable with magic. "Comfortable might not be the right word...Wes is really better at the magic stuff that I am, but I get by." I rub a hand through my hair, kind of wondering about her question. "Things tend to go wrong when I do magic, but hey, the cake can't come out right every time, can it?" I give her a little smile and shrug. "We run into a lot of magic in our line of work. Comes with the job. Kind of like demons. " Another reassuring smile.
"You know much about magic?" I ask her curiously, starting to wonder who it is I'm talking to now. Another version of the slayer that maybe I've never heard of? If so, I'd probably be getting my butt kicked already. But really, who in their right mind would know about demons and magic, and not be in on all of this? Or a demon themselves.
I smile. "I m-meant talking about it, but I know w-what you mean." I brush my wind blown hair away from my eyes. "You j-just have to know what you're doing and t-to ha-have control." I realize that I've given away my secret, that I in almost all points told him that I was a witch and that I know about magic.
Shrugging slightly, I hug my shoulders to myself and smile shyly. "I'm um...m-my..." I took a deep breath and nibbled my bottom lip. "My mother taught me magic since I w-was little. She was controled and taught me the right w-ways and I know how to n-not abuse it." I reasured him, unsure why I was babbling like this to him now.
But it's out there, he knows about it and now I just sit and see what he has to say about it. Either I have someone who'll know my secret - again - or I'll end up having someone to avoid at work if and when he comes in.
"I'm s-sorry you didn't get your reading t-tonight." My face turned red as I changed the subject. "I w-wish Lorne didn't make me sing; I don't l-like doing that."
Just as I'm convincing myself to relax and 'go with the flow' as Cordy says, Tara starts saying she should leave! Her wide eyes look up from her wrist, and I find myself staring again, watching her smile and brush her hair, in that way that only women seem to be able to do. They've really got to be equipped with some kind of magic from birth or something, I swear. When Darla used to do that-
Wait, what? She's really leaving? What happened to keeping me company? I glance around for Lorne and see him still deeply engrossed in conversation. So much for answers. I turn just in time to catch her smile and see her start to make her way across the bar floor.
Quickly shrugging on my duster, I come up behind her before she can leave the club, saying, "Tara," softly, before putting my hand on her arm so I don't scare her. "Tara, you...probably shouldn't go home alone." I frown, realizing my words, and trying again, "I mean, would you mind if I walked you home? Or drove you..." I add tentatively, knowing just how creepy I sound inviting a girl alone to take a ride in my car.
"Los Angeles can be...a little rough if you aren't familiar with it," I say, floundering for some words that don't make me sound so creepy. Especially, at night, I think to myself, trying to let my eyes do more of the talking. I'm really not good with the whole using words thing.
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I can't shake the feeling that he knows a bit more than I'm willing to ask or he's willing to tell me. I'm not sure if I'll get or want the chance to find out.
Angel looks at me intently and part of me wants to say no, but I don't and I nod quietly. "Alright...b-but I don't live too far so um...I don't mind walking." I didn't know how comfortable I felt going in a strange persons car; even if they were a friend of Lorne's. Then again, I didn't know Lorne all that well either.
I fix my scarf and dig my hands into my pockets, glancing up at Angel as we stand near the door. "I'm okay if...if you don't want to w-walk; I've walked alone before." Not in LA and I had a feeling it was a lot different out here than it was in Sunnydale.
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She feels...nervous under my hand - a different nervous than at the table - and I really want to know if that's because of me, or...something else. Please let it be anything else.
"Walking sounds good," I say gently, again trying out that smiling thing, really not wanting to spook her again. I also get the bright idea to let go of her arm, but my hand still seems to go to her back as we walk up the stairs and out of Caritas. Alright. Well. Pulling my hand away and stuffing it in my pocket, I walk next to her. "I like walking at night," I say without thinking, and then cringing as I realize, I've just told her that walking around Los Angeles at night is not a good idea. Well...most things I do aren't a good idea, I guess you might say.
"Any reason you chose L.A.? I mean, I know UCLA's a pretty good school," I ramble, "but do you have family here or something?" I say a little hopefully, thinking of my own tiny family back at Cordy's apartment. This conversation thing is rough, especially when we're both...not exactly fluent in social small talk it seems.
I guess maybe I should ask her what the heck she was doing in Lorne's club looking for a job and seeming for all the world not to notice the demons skulking around. She didn't gawk like a first-timer. She definitely seems to know the world. Yeah, I'll have to ask. But maybe later.
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There's a moment I second guess leading a strange man to my apartment and I realize that there is a building on the other side who shares a parking lot so I can lead him there and head into my place after he leaves.
Angel speaks and I turn towards him before looking back down the street; realizing he does something I seem to do when I feel awkward and nervous - babble. "It's very different than what I grew up with," I answer him. "I d-don't...I don't have family. My..." I let my voice trail off and I realise I'm not ready to tell a stranger about my mother; it was hard to tell Willow even after everything good that had happened. "It's just me." I finally finish, shrugging. "What about you? What brings you and your b-business to L.A.?"
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I listen to her quietly, processing details as she goes. Alone in the world. That sounds familiar. She'd fit right in with Wes and Cordy. And she must not be used to a big city. If I were somebody else, I'd be hoping right now that she'd say no to me walking her home. L.A. is no place to be naive.
"L.A.'s got a dark underbelly, like most big cities. Unfortunately, a good place for my line of work." I shrug at her, feeling myself relax now that we're outside and not in a crowded place with other people around. "Plus...I've kind of been around a lot. L.A. seemed like as good of a place as any. Feels like my town more now that I've been here awhile." I give her a sort of half smile as we walk.
"So, uhh, I have to ask... What were you doing at Lorne's? I mean, most humans don't go to Caritas looking for jobs...or readings." I'm still fairly certain she's human, not that I've really taken a whiff yet, but still. There's a definite heartbeat, and breathing. Who knows though.
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I couldn't even dare to think that maybe I'd found someone I could share this part of my life with - as a friend that is. But I couldn't tell anyone about my family or what happened when my birthday comes.
Here comes the big question. I'm not sure how I feel about that but it's good that it's out there. I don't think I'm bold enough to dodge it or put it back on him. Maybe I'll just be honest and hope it doesn't sound like babble. "My mother..." I paused and tried to think carefully of my words. "I've never f-fit in anywhere and I've known and..." I can't exactly tell him that I'm a witch, maybe even a demon. "I've always known t-that there were demons and..." I shrug and look up at him. "It's a job. What about you?" I ask him without missing a beat.
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I'm surprised when she throws the question back at me until I realize, duh, she doesn't know I'm one of those things that were in there. "Oh, I, uhh, my clients..." I pause, looking over at her, wondering how much I should let her in on. Just because she knows about demons... never f-fit in anywhere ...doesn't mean she's going to be a big fan of vampires. We're not exactly usually the friendly sort.
"My clients are usually having trouble with demons or the mystical or something. We're kind of a place to look when the police can't help you," I finish with a little bit of pride in my voice. I may not be a fan of the The Powers' methods, but I am proud of what we do. Proud that we can help people when they need it. "I was supposed to get a reading from Lorne tonight. Needed a little help of our own. My team and I," I add, realizing I'm saying we a lot. I guess I could be a little more forthcoming...
"We're really more like friends actually, or a weird sort of family," I smile over at her. "None of us ever really fit in anywhere either." Well, okay, Cordelia did in high school, but with these visions, she's pretty much just like the rest of us.
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"It's good to have a p-place like that. I know w-what..." I know what it's like to have nowhere to go. "W-what did you need a reading for?" I question carefully, worried that he would think I was too bold. I found myself wondering what his take on magic and witches was.
Never know until you try...
"W-what is your thought about magic?" I ask curiously, making it sound calm and casual like I wanted to have a thoughtful conversation with him. "I'm c-curious to know wh-what you think about that sort of stuff." I smile and nod at his mention of family being made up of friends and when things were good with Willow...I thought she was family.
I look back at Angel. "I'm curious, if you-you're comfortable w-with that."
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Comfortable with magic. "Comfortable might not be the right word...Wes is really better at the magic stuff that I am, but I get by." I rub a hand through my hair, kind of wondering about her question. "Things tend to go wrong when I do magic, but hey, the cake can't come out right every time, can it?" I give her a little smile and shrug. "We run into a lot of magic in our line of work. Comes with the job. Kind of like demons. " Another reassuring smile.
"You know much about magic?" I ask her curiously, starting to wonder who it is I'm talking to now. Another version of the slayer that maybe I've never heard of? If so, I'd probably be getting my butt kicked already. But really, who in their right mind would know about demons and magic, and not be in on all of this? Or a demon themselves.
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Shrugging slightly, I hug my shoulders to myself and smile shyly. "I'm um...m-my..." I took a deep breath and nibbled my bottom lip. "My mother taught me magic since I w-was little. She was controled and taught me the right w-ways and I know how to n-not abuse it." I reasured him, unsure why I was babbling like this to him now.
But it's out there, he knows about it and now I just sit and see what he has to say about it. Either I have someone who'll know my secret - again - or I'll end up having someone to avoid at work if and when he comes in.
"I'm s-sorry you didn't get your reading t-tonight." My face turned red as I changed the subject. "I w-wish Lorne didn't make me sing; I don't l-like doing that."
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