My heart thunders hard in my ears and I sit up on my side of the couch, shifting my clothes back into place and brush my hair away from my eyes. "You d-didn't...I'm um..." I swallow thickly and look down at my hands. "I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to push
( ... )
"No, it's me," I say waving her off, and trying to think about the most inane things possible. Casually slipping from the room also seems like a good idea. "You didn't rush, Tara, I just-" I run my hands through my hair again. "I just don't have very good control when it comes to certain things," I say quietly. "It's not your fault," I say looking at her honestly
( ... )
He looks uneasy and I sigh, just letting it go for the moment. If Angel wants to talk to me about it then he will. "I'm sorry," I find myself whispering. I wasn't sure what I was thinking by assuming anything could happen with us. He's so much better than I am, deserves it too.
I shake my head and sigh, nibbling my bottom lip in worry. "N-no, I'm um okay." I smile nerviously at him. "Thank you for um h-helping me, Angel." I tuck my feet further under myself and sigh, feeling exposed and almost naked to his eyes. "I-If you want to go back to doing your stuff you can, I didn't want to keep you from anything. I d-don't want to be a bother..." I pause and try to salvage some of this night. "W-what were you um d-doing down there?"
Oh great. I've completely screwed things up now. When am I going to learn how to actually talk to girls when they're not bound and gagged or under my teeth? I sigh inwardly at my ineptitude.
A frown creases my face when she asks what I was doing down there... down where? Does she mean the hard-on in my pants? Great, now I'm confused, and feeling like I screwed everything up.
I glance at her and open my mouth, and close it again.
"It's not that I don't want to-" I stop, not knowing where I'm going with this when I reach over to put a hand on her knee - carefully making sure my arm is covering my lap - and then leave it there, again not knowing where I'm going with this. "I'm sorry, what was I doing down there? You mean in the basement?" Ahh, there, that makes more sense, not that I'm likely to be making any sort of sense right now.
Her knee feels warm and again I'm reminded that I'm not supposed to be touching her, and I'm the one who stopped the touching. God, I must be confusing her like crazy.
"I know..." I whisper, not exactly knowing why he wanted to stop but understanding that he may have wanted something more than I was able to give.
My cheeks flame red when the look in his eyes makes me realize he thought I meant something else. Great, Tara, next time be clear on something or don't talk at all. It's best you don't talk at all.
I feel his hand on my knee and I shift, not moving his hand away even though I want to, I don't want him to move it though. But it might be best if he should.
He's sending me mixed signals and I was never good at understanding them in the first place.
"Yes, I meant w-what were you doing in the basement..." I nervously look away and glance into my soda before taking a sip and wondering if I could become the type to pick up drinking to get rid of this foot-in-mouth disease.
"Oh," I say, feeling even more stupid that I misunderstood. "It was just tai chi. It's kind of meditation, kind of exercise, too. I could teach you sometime if you want," I slipping my hand off her knee when it starts to feel awkward. "I like to use it to train, but it's easier on my body when I'm healing too." Maybe blowing off a little steam might not be so bad right now
( ... )
"Oh," I murmur, shifting and tucking my legs under myself. "Not very good at fighting or anything like that."
Quietly I watch him and he starts to talk, babbling and not making a lot of sense and I stay quiet to process it before speaking. "I don't see you as a vampire." My lips quirk into a smile as I hide behind my hair. "You're just a guy I met at work who for a second makes my nightmares go away who could use a tan." I shrug and hope what I said made any sense to him at all.
"It's okay," I tell him, trying to think of something else to talk about. "But I'm not good at fighting, not good is an understatement actually. I c-can't fight at all L-lorne says I should learn, it might keep the demons f-from 'getting fresh' as h-he says." Yeah, way to change the subject.
Well, all I can think, is that she better start thinking of me as a vampire. Because that's what I am. And if she doesn't, she really is going to get hurt, and not in the way that she thinks
( ... )
He offers to train me and I find myself blushing even as I nod yes, agreeing to take him up on the offer. Maybe things will change - for the better - if we spend some 'friend' time together...or something.
I look up at him and brush my hair from my face, smiling shyly. "Well I h-have to work tomorrow after my final but I get off at ten so if well...if you wanted to celebrate with me...Not that I had anything planned." I bite my lip and try to think when he asks me what I want to learn. I don't know what to answer him.
The room is silent and I fidget with the edge of my shirt, trying to think of what he could teach me but nothing comes to mind. "Everything," I breathe finally, looking up at him for the first time in a few minutes and wondering if that sounded as...wrong as I thought it might.
"I'd like that," I tell her honestly, really giving her a smile this time. "I mean, both parts," I add. Celebrating would be good for Tara. Again with the spoiling and having fun. And if I'm around maybe it will put her mind at ease about her family.
"There's a lot to learn, but I think you'll do fine," I tell her, knowing that she will. She seems to work hard, and she must be smart with the witchcraft and school. She'll catch on quick, and if she doesn't we'll keep going until she does.
"Maybe I should let you turn in? It's getting kind of late... Don't want you to sleep through that final," I smile and snag another chip, half wondering what we're going to do with all this junk food. Another night, maybe.
"Thanks for...letting me help you study. I...had a nice time," in spite of the awkwardness in the middle and the sexual frustration I'm likely going to be dealing with later.
"I would too," I reply, feeling the tension slink out of the room and leaving us - mostly - relaxed. "W-well if I'm really bad," Which I know I will be, "You can always change your mind and stop. Okay." I don't give him a chance to reply and I agree when he say's it's getting late.
Shifting awkwardly I speak softly, "It is but..." I pause and look over at him. "I had a nice time too. Thank you for helping me, Angel." I smile and stand, gathering my notes for tomorrow to take back to my room. "If you need anything just knock, your um bandages should be okay until tomorrow." I left out the part about the shower because that isn't something I wanted to think about. Not even if I thought of such things.
I stand and hold my books to my chest, reaching out and touching his arm for a moment. "Night, Angel." Without looking back I turn and head towards my room, the smell of his aftershave still on my skin.
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I shake my head and sigh, nibbling my bottom lip in worry. "N-no, I'm um okay." I smile nerviously at him. "Thank you for um h-helping me, Angel." I tuck my feet further under myself and sigh, feeling exposed and almost naked to his eyes. "I-If you want to go back to doing your stuff you can, I didn't want to keep you from anything. I d-don't want to be a bother..." I pause and try to salvage some of this night. "W-what were you um d-doing down there?"
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A frown creases my face when she asks what I was doing down there... down where? Does she mean the hard-on in my pants? Great, now I'm confused, and feeling like I screwed everything up.
I glance at her and open my mouth, and close it again.
"It's not that I don't want to-" I stop, not knowing where I'm going with this when I reach over to put a hand on her knee - carefully making sure my arm is covering my lap - and then leave it there, again not knowing where I'm going with this. "I'm sorry, what was I doing down there? You mean in the basement?" Ahh, there, that makes more sense, not that I'm likely to be making any sort of sense right now.
Her knee feels warm and again I'm reminded that I'm not supposed to be touching her, and I'm the one who stopped the touching. God, I must be confusing her like crazy.
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My cheeks flame red when the look in his eyes makes me realize he thought I meant something else. Great, Tara, next time be clear on something or don't talk at all. It's best you don't talk at all.
I feel his hand on my knee and I shift, not moving his hand away even though I want to, I don't want him to move it though. But it might be best if he should.
He's sending me mixed signals and I was never good at understanding them in the first place.
"Yes, I meant w-what were you doing in the basement..." I nervously look away and glance into my soda before taking a sip and wondering if I could become the type to pick up drinking to get rid of this foot-in-mouth disease.
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Quietly I watch him and he starts to talk, babbling and not making a lot of sense and I stay quiet to process it before speaking. "I don't see you as a vampire." My lips quirk into a smile as I hide behind my hair. "You're just a guy I met at work who for a second makes my nightmares go away who could use a tan." I shrug and hope what I said made any sense to him at all.
"It's okay," I tell him, trying to think of something else to talk about. "But I'm not good at fighting, not good is an understatement actually. I c-can't fight at all L-lorne says I should learn, it might keep the demons f-from 'getting fresh' as h-he says." Yeah, way to change the subject.
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I look up at him and brush my hair from my face, smiling shyly. "Well I h-have to work tomorrow after my final but I get off at ten so if well...if you wanted to celebrate with me...Not that I had anything planned." I bite my lip and try to think when he asks me what I want to learn. I don't know what to answer him.
The room is silent and I fidget with the edge of my shirt, trying to think of what he could teach me but nothing comes to mind. "Everything," I breathe finally, looking up at him for the first time in a few minutes and wondering if that sounded as...wrong as I thought it might.
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"There's a lot to learn, but I think you'll do fine," I tell her, knowing that she will. She seems to work hard, and she must be smart with the witchcraft and school. She'll catch on quick, and if she doesn't we'll keep going until she does.
"Maybe I should let you turn in? It's getting kind of late... Don't want you to sleep through that final," I smile and snag another chip, half wondering what we're going to do with all this junk food. Another night, maybe.
"Thanks for...letting me help you study. I...had a nice time," in spite of the awkwardness in the middle and the sexual frustration I'm likely going to be dealing with later.
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Shifting awkwardly I speak softly, "It is but..." I pause and look over at him. "I had a nice time too. Thank you for helping me, Angel." I smile and stand, gathering my notes for tomorrow to take back to my room. "If you need anything just knock, your um bandages should be okay until tomorrow." I left out the part about the shower because that isn't something I wanted to think about. Not even if I thought of such things.
I stand and hold my books to my chest, reaching out and touching his arm for a moment. "Night, Angel." Without looking back I turn and head towards my room, the smell of his aftershave still on my skin.
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