I sit down next to the bags and smile, digging through it and having a feeling as if it was Christmas or something. "Yes, you did get everything." I stopped, holding a bag of chocolate kisses in my hand and looked up at him. "Thank you." Simple and to the point, not to mention very serious. There wasn't anyoone I could think of besides my mother that would think of me like this.
He mentions pizza and I shake my head. "This is wonderful, Angel." I pull more things out, lining them up to see what needs to go into the fridge or anything. I notice he bought beer and stand up to slip it in the fridge, assuming that he wanted it for him.
"This will be a hopefully productive study night." My cheeks turn red when he mentions that I need to be spoiled and I smile when he mentions ice cream. "Shakes would be nice tonight," I think softly, nodding when he says he is going to grab a book.
I finish putting the things away and set them on the small table in the corner, pulling open a bag of salt and vinagar chips before moving back to the seat for my book. "Pizza would be good. Later is okay, better even," I tease him, smiling as he came back into the room, my eyes turning up to look at him.
Once out the door and back in my room, I slump into a chair for several moments. That trip...might have been a bit much. Letting my muscles sit and ache for a few minutes, I flick my eyes over the bookcases, trying to find a book while I wait out the worst of the pain.
Shoving myself out of the chair, I snag a book of poetry against my better judgement and hang up my duster. Any time this sickness/illness/weakness thing wanted to go away I would be happy.
Padding back into our den of snack food, I grin at her tease, stealing a chip from her fingers before slipping onto the wide couch, sprawling a little bit. I feel oddly relaxed in spite of the intense day and the grueling venture outside. "Pizza it is then," I tell her, one of those little smirking smiles creeping onto my face.
"Any studying I can help with?" I ask trying to make this an actual useful time to spend together, rather than me just hovering while she tries to work. The chip crunches loudly in my mouth and I realize I can't remember the last time I had an actual chip. The taste is strong in my mouth, and I find myself applauding my taste in snack foods. "Hmm, these are good," I say randomly, still sounding a little surprised.
"Pizza is co-ed love," I tell him, ducking my face and feeling like a nerd. I notice that I'm getting more and more comfortable with him even in such a short span of time and it's almost freeing.
Angel takes a chip from my fingers and I smile at him, amused at his quiet surprise at the taste of it. "Glad I can help with that." He askes me what he can help me with and I shake my head, curling up into the chair next to him. "Make me smarter." I don't know why I wasn't able to grasp this book, I love reading. Too much stress, that had to be it.
I look up from my book and look over at Angel, looking at him curiously before I notice a small stain on his shirt. "Take your shirt off." A small pang of guilt washes over me and I stand up, setting my book down and heading into his room to pick up the bandages we've kept there.
Coming back into the room I set them down next to him and look up at him from my kneeling position in front of him. "I can't clean them with your shirt on."
Her words are puzzling, and it reminds me of talking to Cordy or Buffy sometimes. I was never quite up on all the young people slang or trends, or whatever. She seems pleased by the pizza idea, though, so I smile back at her, pleased.
I frown a little at her asking me to make her smarter, even if I know she's only feeling stressed about finals. Tara seems plenty smart enough, I don't know why she would be worried about not being smart enough.
Again, I frown at her careful perusal of me. I look down, and then back up at her, confused. "What?" I say baffled at her request. I thought we weren't- "Oh," I say when she comes back carrying bandages. I'm still reluctant to remove my shirt like she asks. I look at her sitting between my knees, and bite my lip.
"I'm fine, Tara, really, you should be studying, you really don't have to do this," I continue to babble, but she continues to give me that look that I know all too well from Cordy as being the 'I'm going to stay right here until you decide to stop being dumb, so just let me do what I need to do.'
I stop babbling and sigh, pulling the shirt over my head, feeling slightly annoyed now that one of my favorite shirts has a bloodstain on it. I try to be patient as she works, but I can't help feeling my skin hum and tingle where her fingertips brush.
After much silent waring he pulls his shirt off and I take it from him. "I'll wash it later." I give him a small smile and move closer to him, pulling the bandages off his chest and making careful work of cleaning his still healing cuts.
"The poison is mostly gone, you'll start healing a lot faster soon." I tell him, placing the gause over the wound on his chest. "Don't let me hurt you." I give him a small smile and brush my hair off my face as I stand between his thighs and go to work on the cuts on his shoulder and back. "How's that? D-do you feel better? I'm sorry you hurt yourself going out, I didn't want you to. You didn't have to."
Everything is quiet and thick in the room, the urge to just curl up in his arms is there. But I quiet it for the moment. "Angel," I whisper his name, nervously licking my lips and making him look up at me and against my better judgement I lean down and kiss him gently, almost fairytale in a way, and locking my eyes with his. "Thank you. For everything."
She's careful as she works with the wounds, and it has me wondering how much nursing or patching up she's had to do. It doesn't seem right for her any more than it does Cordy, or any of Buffy's team. So young. I keep quiet as she talks. My hand covers hers as she draws away, the heat burning my skin. "It's fine, Tara. I wanted to go." And for a moment it feels like the world stops and it's just us alone in it.
Her lips leave my mouth, and for a moment, I just look up at her, my own lips still parted as if touched by something sacred.
And I want more.
It roils inside me, but I tamp it down, just like I do with everything else that I want. "I just want to help, Tara," I say quietly in reply to her thanks. "I should be the one thanking you. I'd be just this side of dead if it weren't for you. So we're even." My eyes flick to hers, and I draw back, needing some space. I shrug my shirt on, and look back at her wondering what's next with us.
"You want to sit over here?" with me? I ask, glancing up at her... I don't need the torture, but it's not about what I need, now is it. She looks like she could use some human contact, and since I'm the closest thing she's got right now...
My lips still tingle from his lips and I swallow hard, my tongue darting out and tasting the salt his lips left on mine. "I know you do. It's...It's nice and you don't have to thank me either." I pull back from him and quickly start to pack things up, putting the bandages on the table by the door.
Angel's words sink into me and my eyes meet his and I silently nod, not trusting my voice at the moment. I brush my air dried hair from my face and take my book, I step over to him barefoot and curl up on the couch. I settle in and lean my head against the back, unwilling to attempt to get back to the jibberish that was written on the pages.
Shaking my head I open the page again and attempt to read. "Blah, blah, blah," I mutter, trying to clear my head and make sense of the text. "One more day and I'll be done with this book." That even made me more anxious to get this done. I didn't want to flunk my final. Summer school wasn't my idea of fun.
"Sorry," I murmur, looking down at my book and realizing that I was babbling and keeping him from reading his book.
Good, it looks like I'm not the only one feeling a little harried and confused by that kiss. I can hear her pulse bouncing from slow to fast, but I try not to watch her, or track how shook up she might be. Leaning into the couch, I pick up my book, and thumb through a few pages, past dog-eared poems that I've already read a thousand times.
I smile when I hear a small frustrated noise and her blah, blah, blah. She shifts on the couch restlessly, and I wonder if it's me, the book, or the kiss that's keeping her from concentrating. Setting down my own book when she apologizes, I scoot over next to her and pull her legs across mine.
"Would it help if you read it out loud? Or if I read it to you?" I ask, my hand immediately betraying me by rubbing reassuringly over her calf. I snag a chip and hold it out in front of her mouth. "Or is it already time for a snack break?" I ask, trying for innocence. I am shameless tonight it would seem. I honestly don't know what to do with myself though. I haven't felt this flustered over someone in far too long.
"Or...I could get our of your hair and your personal space," I add reluctantly, glancing away from her bare feet and ankles to look her in the eye. Not that I want to be leaving her alone after this morning, but if that's what she wants then that's what I'll do.
Before I know it his hands are burning into my skin and I find myself almost sitting over his lap and I blush. Wiggling my toes I sigh softly at his touch, looking at him as
"Alone time is over rated," I reply quietly, taking the chip from him happily. "Snack breaks are for people who have more than twelve hours to read five chapters of a book they have no interest or idea about ever reading."
Nervously I bite my lip and rest my head against the side of the couchk trying to think of what the best option there is. "I don't know if my reading it would be of any help, I mean I understand the book and everything, it just seems to me that I can't grasp what their concept is." I sigh and shake my head. "Final's are going to be my death."
I hold the book out to him and sigh, "See for yourself."
Smiling, I take in the toe wiggling and chip snacking. The incredibly adorable toe wiggling and chip snacking. "Hmm. Could be a problem," I muse, taking on a serious tone. I, then, of course, hand her another chip to snack on while she bemoans the book and finals.
My hands are smoothing over her calves, trying to ignore the urge to push her sweatpants up and actually touch her bare skin. Be good, Angel, be good. No touching, remember? And I'm pushed out of my torment when Tara hands me the offensive book. Taking it, my fingers brush hers - accidentally, of course - and I glance at her and quickly back to the book.
"Hmm," I muse again, realizing I've read this book at least twice. "Well, looks like I might be able to help you out," I say, kind of pleased that I might actually know something about her homework. We talk for a little while about the book, me pointing some things out to her, her doing the same to me, until it seems like she might be able to get somewhere.
"See, now that wasn't so bad," I murmur, finally catching on that I've been massaging her feet. Uhh... Oops?
Angel helps me study for well over two hours, maybe even three. I realize the day has dwindled away on us and I nod, understanding what he's saying about the book and finally not feeling stupid from my homework. "I had help, that's why it wasn't so bad."
We become quiet and my eyes glance down at my feet, noticing Angel's muscled fingers working the stress away from my feet and ankles. My cheeks flare red and we sit quietly for a moment and it feels like hours as we both sit there, wondering what is going to happen next.
"Angel," I breathe, swallowing hard as I lean back on the couch and half cover my face in a pillow. "What...what is this? What are we doing and why do I desperately want you to kiss me now..." The words fall from my lips like water and I find myself almost desperate that I hadn't said that but not regretful either.
I breathe in sharply through my nose when the smell of her rushes more heavily at my senses. Glancing at her face, I see the redness spreading over her cheeks, luscious and bright. It's intoxicating to smell her when she blushes. My hands stop moving over her feet, unsure of what's next. Guess I'm not the only one
"Well," I murmur, eyes fixed on her now like predator to prey. I shift slowly, gently so that she might not even notice, until my hand is on her hip, and my face is nearly touching the pillow she's shielding herself with. "Some might call it attraction," again I keep my voice low, my eyes trained on her, not really thinking about what I'm saying it, just saying something so that she's focused on the sound of my voice.
"If we're keeping with the homework thing, we could call it chemistry." My hand gently moves the pillow aside so I can see the whole of her face, and then brush my palm over her cheek. And that makes something nag at me. I can't just kiss her. Can't just keep taking what I want. She's just a young woman still. I'm sure this must all seem a little insane. "I'd like to kiss you Tara..." God, do I want to. "But...are you sure?" I brush my thumb over her cheek. "I don't want to rush you, and I don't want you to regret this again later." She might've said she didn't the first time, but I have my doubts with the way it turned out.
My breathing stops and my heart pounds in my chest all at the same time, the moment is still and thick as he moves slowly over me, I can feel the weight of him against my skin and the loud thunder of my heartbeat in my ears.
His words are soft but I hear them loud and clear as he moves the pillow I covered myself with away, exposing me to his eyes. "Chemistry...Right, I get that." I anxiously lick my lips, my breathing thick as I look up at him.
"Angel...I'm sure. I never regretted before." I swallow hard, nervously licking my lips. "You're not rushing me." I can hear my heart thundering in my ears and I look up at him, tipping my head towards his touch. "Angel..." I nervously nibble my lip. "I...I might be bad at it."
"Bad at what?" I murmur, lips inches from hers, and I look deep into nervous eyes, her body humming dizzy with energy. "You seemed pretty good before," I say quietly, leaning even closer, my eyes on her lips now, her body under mine as I shift over her, hand still close to her hip, bracing me.
"Just...relax..." I whisper, my lips finally brushing over hers, not even a hint of what I want, but oh how easy it would be to take. Angelus is taunting me with needs and urges that I don't want to have about Tara or anyone ever, but I push them back, as many years experience has taught me to do.
My lips brush hers again, still feather light, and I can feel the moisture she just licked over them. "Tara," I breathe, my other hand slipping up into her hair, cupping her head. My mouths slips gradually closer, longer, my tongue teasing the seam of her lips, coaxing them apart for me.
When they do part, I can taste the acidic, salty taste of the chips, and of course that underlying flavor that's all Tara. And still I try not to give in. Try to keep control.
"Kissing," I whisper, his lips so close to mine that I can feel it, he tells me I was good before and I blush again, feeling the weight of his body against mine and my back arches slightly, welcoming that feeling.
Angel kisses me and I can almost hear the world stop, the loud sound of breaks could be heard and I feel his hand in my hair as I bring my hand up to his shoulder and the other around his waist. I gently fist my hand in his shirt, pulling him closer to me as my lips part for him.
I moan softly and boldly dart my tongue past his, breathing in his scent and wanting nothing more than to get drowned in him. It's so easy to forget everything when he's around and that's all I want to do right now is forget everything but him. "Angel..." I pant against his lips, my body arched tightly to his as I lean in to kiss him again.
I press back against her when I feel her body respond, keeping her tight between me and the couch cushions. She feels so... pliant. So responsive for someone who thinks she would be bad at kissing... And how glad am I that she sad kissing - just kissing - and not something else?
Gotta tell her about the curse sometime though, I remind myself, falling into her, the sweet scent of her, the gorgeous way she reacts, drawing me in like a helpless moth. Which you'd think was the other way around, the way she was clinging to me, but, no, I think she has nothing to worry about here. It's me who's going to get burned.
But I do it gladly, hand gliding over her one hip that's not covered by my body, her t-shirt rucking up so my fingers touch actual skin. Moaning softly against her mouth at the way she bravely kisses me back, I return her kiss, trying hard not to grind against her. I seem to be on a short fuse with her around, but not going there, so not going there. It shouldn't be so attractive the contrast between her bravery and the tentative flicks of her tongue, but like I said, she's already making me burn.
"Nothing to worry about, Tara," I mumble between kisses, my mouth seeking out hers almost automatically, rather than be doing anything other than kissing.
He mentions pizza and I shake my head. "This is wonderful, Angel." I pull more things out, lining them up to see what needs to go into the fridge or anything. I notice he bought beer and stand up to slip it in the fridge, assuming that he wanted it for him.
"This will be a hopefully productive study night." My cheeks turn red when he mentions that I need to be spoiled and I smile when he mentions ice cream. "Shakes would be nice tonight," I think softly, nodding when he says he is going to grab a book.
I finish putting the things away and set them on the small table in the corner, pulling open a bag of salt and vinagar chips before moving back to the seat for my book. "Pizza would be good. Later is okay, better even," I tease him, smiling as he came back into the room, my eyes turning up to look at him.
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Shoving myself out of the chair, I snag a book of poetry against my better judgement and hang up my duster. Any time this sickness/illness/weakness thing wanted to go away I would be happy.
Padding back into our den of snack food, I grin at her tease, stealing a chip from her fingers before slipping onto the wide couch, sprawling a little bit. I feel oddly relaxed in spite of the intense day and the grueling venture outside. "Pizza it is then," I tell her, one of those little smirking smiles creeping onto my face.
"Any studying I can help with?" I ask trying to make this an actual useful time to spend together, rather than me just hovering while she tries to work. The chip crunches loudly in my mouth and I realize I can't remember the last time I had an actual chip. The taste is strong in my mouth, and I find myself applauding my taste in snack foods. "Hmm, these are good," I say randomly, still sounding a little surprised.
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Angel takes a chip from my fingers and I smile at him, amused at his quiet surprise at the taste of it. "Glad I can help with that." He askes me what he can help me with and I shake my head, curling up into the chair next to him. "Make me smarter." I don't know why I wasn't able to grasp this book, I love reading. Too much stress, that had to be it.
I look up from my book and look over at Angel, looking at him curiously before I notice a small stain on his shirt. "Take your shirt off." A small pang of guilt washes over me and I stand up, setting my book down and heading into his room to pick up the bandages we've kept there.
Coming back into the room I set them down next to him and look up at him from my kneeling position in front of him. "I can't clean them with your shirt on."
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I frown a little at her asking me to make her smarter, even if I know she's only feeling stressed about finals. Tara seems plenty smart enough, I don't know why she would be worried about not being smart enough.
Again, I frown at her careful perusal of me. I look down, and then back up at her, confused. "What?" I say baffled at her request. I thought we weren't- "Oh," I say when she comes back carrying bandages. I'm still reluctant to remove my shirt like she asks. I look at her sitting between my knees, and bite my lip.
"I'm fine, Tara, really, you should be studying, you really don't have to do this," I continue to babble, but she continues to give me that look that I know all too well from Cordy as being the 'I'm going to stay right here until you decide to stop being dumb, so just let me do what I need to do.'
I stop babbling and sigh, pulling the shirt over my head, feeling slightly annoyed now that one of my favorite shirts has a bloodstain on it. I try to be patient as she works, but I can't help feeling my skin hum and tingle where her fingertips brush.
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"The poison is mostly gone, you'll start healing a lot faster soon." I tell him, placing the gause over the wound on his chest. "Don't let me hurt you." I give him a small smile and brush my hair off my face as I stand between his thighs and go to work on the cuts on his shoulder and back. "How's that? D-do you feel better? I'm sorry you hurt yourself going out, I didn't want you to. You didn't have to."
Everything is quiet and thick in the room, the urge to just curl up in his arms is there. But I quiet it for the moment. "Angel," I whisper his name, nervously licking my lips and making him look up at me and against my better judgement I lean down and kiss him gently, almost fairytale in a way, and locking my eyes with his. "Thank you. For everything."
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Her lips leave my mouth, and for a moment, I just look up at her, my own lips still parted as if touched by something sacred.
And I want more.
It roils inside me, but I tamp it down, just like I do with everything else that I want. "I just want to help, Tara," I say quietly in reply to her thanks. "I should be the one thanking you. I'd be just this side of dead if it weren't for you. So we're even." My eyes flick to hers, and I draw back, needing some space. I shrug my shirt on, and look back at her wondering what's next with us.
"You want to sit over here?" with me? I ask, glancing up at her... I don't need the torture, but it's not about what I need, now is it. She looks like she could use some human contact, and since I'm the closest thing she's got right now...
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Angel's words sink into me and my eyes meet his and I silently nod, not trusting my voice at the moment. I brush my air dried hair from my face and take my book, I step over to him barefoot and curl up on the couch. I settle in and lean my head against the back, unwilling to attempt to get back to the jibberish that was written on the pages.
Shaking my head I open the page again and attempt to read. "Blah, blah, blah," I mutter, trying to clear my head and make sense of the text. "One more day and I'll be done with this book." That even made me more anxious to get this done. I didn't want to flunk my final. Summer school wasn't my idea of fun.
"Sorry," I murmur, looking down at my book and realizing that I was babbling and keeping him from reading his book.
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I smile when I hear a small frustrated noise and her blah, blah, blah. She shifts on the couch restlessly, and I wonder if it's me, the book, or the kiss that's keeping her from concentrating. Setting down my own book when she apologizes, I scoot over next to her and pull her legs across mine.
"Would it help if you read it out loud? Or if I read it to you?" I ask, my hand immediately betraying me by rubbing reassuringly over her calf. I snag a chip and hold it out in front of her mouth. "Or is it already time for a snack break?" I ask, trying for innocence. I am shameless tonight it would seem. I honestly don't know what to do with myself though. I haven't felt this flustered over someone in far too long.
"Or...I could get our of your hair and your personal space," I add reluctantly, glancing away from her bare feet and ankles to look her in the eye. Not that I want to be leaving her alone after this morning, but if that's what she wants then that's what I'll do.
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"Alone time is over rated," I reply quietly, taking the chip from him happily. "Snack breaks are for people who have more than twelve hours to read five chapters of a book they have no interest or idea about ever reading."
Nervously I bite my lip and rest my head against the side of the couchk trying to think of what the best option there is. "I don't know if my reading it would be of any help, I mean I understand the book and everything, it just seems to me that I can't grasp what their concept is." I sigh and shake my head. "Final's are going to be my death."
I hold the book out to him and sigh, "See for yourself."
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My hands are smoothing over her calves, trying to ignore the urge to push her sweatpants up and actually touch her bare skin. Be good, Angel, be good. No touching, remember? And I'm pushed out of my torment when Tara hands me the offensive book. Taking it, my fingers brush hers - accidentally, of course - and I glance at her and quickly back to the book.
"Hmm," I muse again, realizing I've read this book at least twice. "Well, looks like I might be able to help you out," I say, kind of pleased that I might actually know something about her homework. We talk for a little while about the book, me pointing some things out to her, her doing the same to me, until it seems like she might be able to get somewhere.
"See, now that wasn't so bad," I murmur, finally catching on that I've been massaging her feet. Uhh... Oops?
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We become quiet and my eyes glance down at my feet, noticing Angel's muscled fingers working the stress away from my feet and ankles. My cheeks flare red and we sit quietly for a moment and it feels like hours as we both sit there, wondering what is going to happen next.
"Angel," I breathe, swallowing hard as I lean back on the couch and half cover my face in a pillow. "What...what is this? What are we doing and why do I desperately want you to kiss me now..." The words fall from my lips like water and I find myself almost desperate that I hadn't said that but not regretful either.
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"Well," I murmur, eyes fixed on her now like predator to prey. I shift slowly, gently so that she might not even notice, until my hand is on her hip, and my face is nearly touching the pillow she's shielding herself with. "Some might call it attraction," again I keep my voice low, my eyes trained on her, not really thinking about what I'm saying it, just saying something so that she's focused on the sound of my voice.
"If we're keeping with the homework thing, we could call it chemistry." My hand gently moves the pillow aside so I can see the whole of her face, and then brush my palm over her cheek. And that makes something nag at me. I can't just kiss her. Can't just keep taking what I want. She's just a young woman still. I'm sure this must all seem a little insane. "I'd like to kiss you Tara..." God, do I want to. "But...are you sure?" I brush my thumb over her cheek. "I don't want to rush you, and I don't want you to regret this again later." She might've said she didn't the first time, but I have my doubts with the way it turned out.
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His words are soft but I hear them loud and clear as he moves the pillow I covered myself with away, exposing me to his eyes. "Chemistry...Right, I get that." I anxiously lick my lips, my breathing thick as I look up at him.
"Angel...I'm sure. I never regretted before." I swallow hard, nervously licking my lips. "You're not rushing me." I can hear my heart thundering in my ears and I look up at him, tipping my head towards his touch. "Angel..." I nervously nibble my lip. "I...I might be bad at it."
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"Just...relax..." I whisper, my lips finally brushing over hers, not even a hint of what I want, but oh how easy it would be to take. Angelus is taunting me with needs and urges that I don't want to have about Tara or anyone ever, but I push them back, as many years experience has taught me to do.
My lips brush hers again, still feather light, and I can feel the moisture she just licked over them. "Tara," I breathe, my other hand slipping up into her hair, cupping her head. My mouths slips gradually closer, longer, my tongue teasing the seam of her lips, coaxing them apart for me.
When they do part, I can taste the acidic, salty taste of the chips, and of course that underlying flavor that's all Tara. And still I try not to give in. Try to keep control.
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Angel kisses me and I can almost hear the world stop, the loud sound of breaks could be heard and I feel his hand in my hair as I bring my hand up to his shoulder and the other around his waist. I gently fist my hand in his shirt, pulling him closer to me as my lips part for him.
I moan softly and boldly dart my tongue past his, breathing in his scent and wanting nothing more than to get drowned in him. It's so easy to forget everything when he's around and that's all I want to do right now is forget everything but him. "Angel..." I pant against his lips, my body arched tightly to his as I lean in to kiss him again.
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Gotta tell her about the curse sometime though, I remind myself, falling into her, the sweet scent of her, the gorgeous way she reacts, drawing me in like a helpless moth. Which you'd think was the other way around, the way she was clinging to me, but, no, I think she has nothing to worry about here. It's me who's going to get burned.
But I do it gladly, hand gliding over her one hip that's not covered by my body, her t-shirt rucking up so my fingers touch actual skin. Moaning softly against her mouth at the way she bravely kisses me back, I return her kiss, trying hard not to grind against her. I seem to be on a short fuse with her around, but not going there, so not going there. It shouldn't be so attractive the contrast between her bravery and the tentative flicks of her tongue, but like I said, she's already making me burn.
"Nothing to worry about, Tara," I mumble between kisses, my mouth seeking out hers almost automatically, rather than be doing anything other than kissing.
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