(no subject)
BILL
Okay! Ten questions for Jordan McDeere.
(after a pause)
They tell me you've been reluctant to speak on your own behalf.
JORDAN
Yes.
BILL
Why?
JORDAN
You know how you win at three card Monte?
BILL
How?
JORDAN
Get someone to play.
BILL
Does it anger you when people say you're just a pretty face?
JORDAN
I always forgive my enemies - nothing annoys ‘em nearly as much.
BILL
Haha. Speaking of enemies. At your very first press conference, you left somewhat the impression that you regard the Christian right an enemy to be either - beaten or ignored. Is that accurate?
JORDAN
No, beaten and then ignored.
BILL
And now, the serious answer.
JORDAN
I admire people of faith - all faiths. That's not hard for me to do cause I went to Catholic school K through twelve and nobody's more nuts than we are.
BILL
Did you buy a pilot script called "Nations"?
JORDAN
I did more than that. I made a full series commitment.
BILL
It's a one hour drama about the UN. How wide do you imagine its appeal will be?
JORDAN
A hundred ninety-one countries belong to it, but, I can see how we'd have problems syndicating to Taiwan and Vatican City.
BILL
Again - the serious answer.
JORDAN
The Pew Research Center says the two most vile professions in America are - in the order - laywers and doctors. Hasn't stopped shows about lawyers and doctors.
BILL
I'm sure you weren't happy to learn that your ex-husband is publishing a book. He makes claims in it about your lifestyle when you two were together. Do you want to respond to that?
JORDAN
Only to say that we had a lifestyle when we were together and I - regret both of those things very deeply.
BILL
What did your husband do when you met him?
JORDAN
He dealt three card Monte.
BILL
I can tell you enjoy giving humorous answers - and it's disarming. But some people wonder if you're aware of the serious jeopardy you're in.
JORDAN
Yeah?
BILL
Yes.
JORDAN
What people would that be?
BILL
You mean specifically?
JORDAN
Yes.
SHELLY
Why don't we move on to the next question?
JORDAN
I wanna stay with this one.
BILL
There is talk among people in the industry. It has been reported...
JORDAN
The "talk among people in the industry" - and that was absolutely penetrating specificity - hasn't been reported, it's been created, the way it just was a moment ago. Stories need conflict, that's understandable - except reporters aren't supposed to be storytellers. Stop trying to entertain me.
BILL
You don't like the press.
SHELLY
I think that was ten questions.
JORDAN
By "the press" you're talking about a lot of people. Let me be specific - I don't like you...
SHELLY
Okay!
JORDAN
I don't think you've spoken to a single person who's unhappy with my job performance. I think you're reporting on what you and the guy in the cubicle next to you were talking about at lunch. And that makes you a hairdresser and a cockfight promoter.
BILL
Okay. Thank you.
JORDAN
Thank you!
SHELLY
Thank you, Bill
i miss jordan mcdeere.
Okay! Ten questions for Jordan McDeere.
(after a pause)
They tell me you've been reluctant to speak on your own behalf.
JORDAN
Yes.
BILL
Why?
JORDAN
You know how you win at three card Monte?
BILL
How?
JORDAN
Get someone to play.
BILL
Does it anger you when people say you're just a pretty face?
JORDAN
I always forgive my enemies - nothing annoys ‘em nearly as much.
BILL
Haha. Speaking of enemies. At your very first press conference, you left somewhat the impression that you regard the Christian right an enemy to be either - beaten or ignored. Is that accurate?
JORDAN
No, beaten and then ignored.
BILL
And now, the serious answer.
JORDAN
I admire people of faith - all faiths. That's not hard for me to do cause I went to Catholic school K through twelve and nobody's more nuts than we are.
BILL
Did you buy a pilot script called "Nations"?
JORDAN
I did more than that. I made a full series commitment.
BILL
It's a one hour drama about the UN. How wide do you imagine its appeal will be?
JORDAN
A hundred ninety-one countries belong to it, but, I can see how we'd have problems syndicating to Taiwan and Vatican City.
BILL
Again - the serious answer.
JORDAN
The Pew Research Center says the two most vile professions in America are - in the order - laywers and doctors. Hasn't stopped shows about lawyers and doctors.
BILL
I'm sure you weren't happy to learn that your ex-husband is publishing a book. He makes claims in it about your lifestyle when you two were together. Do you want to respond to that?
JORDAN
Only to say that we had a lifestyle when we were together and I - regret both of those things very deeply.
BILL
What did your husband do when you met him?
JORDAN
He dealt three card Monte.
BILL
I can tell you enjoy giving humorous answers - and it's disarming. But some people wonder if you're aware of the serious jeopardy you're in.
JORDAN
Yeah?
BILL
Yes.
JORDAN
What people would that be?
BILL
You mean specifically?
JORDAN
Yes.
SHELLY
Why don't we move on to the next question?
JORDAN
I wanna stay with this one.
BILL
There is talk among people in the industry. It has been reported...
JORDAN
The "talk among people in the industry" - and that was absolutely penetrating specificity - hasn't been reported, it's been created, the way it just was a moment ago. Stories need conflict, that's understandable - except reporters aren't supposed to be storytellers. Stop trying to entertain me.
BILL
You don't like the press.
SHELLY
I think that was ten questions.
JORDAN
By "the press" you're talking about a lot of people. Let me be specific - I don't like you...
SHELLY
Okay!
JORDAN
I don't think you've spoken to a single person who's unhappy with my job performance. I think you're reporting on what you and the guy in the cubicle next to you were talking about at lunch. And that makes you a hairdresser and a cockfight promoter.
BILL
Okay. Thank you.
JORDAN
Thank you!
SHELLY
Thank you, Bill
i miss jordan mcdeere.