i wrote this post on loose leaf during chem class then copied it to a computer later i am a loser
I’ve had this Saves the Day song stuck in my head all day. Not even the song really just that line “Heart is on the floor, why don’t you step on it” over and over in my head. I don’t like the band or the song, but goddam that chorus is catchy.
I don’t know if I’m in the best condition for this retreat. Physically I’m kinda weak, sorta tired, sorta out of it. Mentally I’m not that focused, sorta all over the place, sorta preoccupied, not that relaxed. I don’t really care all that much but I was hoping I could manage to get a little something out of the next 2 days. If I don’t then oh well. It’s still 2 days off from school.
I feel like I haven’t written a nice “blah, blah, blah, this is how I’m doing” type livejournal post in a long while. It feels pretty good to just ramble on about nothing in particular to a forum such as this every now and then. This is why criticizing livejournal is dumb. Where else are you gonna go when you wanna tell all your friends about all those little personal things that contribute to the state you’re in at the moment you make a post. That wording kinda sucked, but whatever, I think you know what I meant.
What the fuck is my chem teacher babbling about. It’s kinda funny when you totally don’t know what’s going on in a subject like chem or math or something. Cuz this stuff is so foreign and useless and stupid and silly.
I got a good grade on an English paper today, one of the highest grades in the class or something. I don’t know why but somehow this gives me some sense of satisfaction. I know a lot of this shit is useless, but somehow it makes me feel good about myself when I excel in it. Why this is, I may never know.
I’m more of an uneasy teenager than I think. That kinda sucks but its worth it. To feel passionately about anything for any amount of time is always worth it. To say to yourself that you’ve never felt so strongly about something, about anything, is always a gratifying realization. As is realizing that you’re not the slightest bit jaded, and that your heart and your mind are capable of feeling a tremendous amount of emotion at one time about one thing.
I will never ever be confident that anything I submit to this forum is the slightest bit enjoyable for any of you to read. But I do it anyway, cuz where else am I supposed to go and write about the stuff I write about on livejournal.
I don’t know if I’m in the best condition for this retreat. Physically I’m kinda weak, sorta tired, sorta out of it. Mentally I’m not that focused, sorta all over the place, sorta preoccupied, not that relaxed. I don’t really care all that much but I was hoping I could manage to get a little something out of the next 2 days. If I don’t then oh well. It’s still 2 days off from school.
I feel like I haven’t written a nice “blah, blah, blah, this is how I’m doing” type livejournal post in a long while. It feels pretty good to just ramble on about nothing in particular to a forum such as this every now and then. This is why criticizing livejournal is dumb. Where else are you gonna go when you wanna tell all your friends about all those little personal things that contribute to the state you’re in at the moment you make a post. That wording kinda sucked, but whatever, I think you know what I meant.
What the fuck is my chem teacher babbling about. It’s kinda funny when you totally don’t know what’s going on in a subject like chem or math or something. Cuz this stuff is so foreign and useless and stupid and silly.
I got a good grade on an English paper today, one of the highest grades in the class or something. I don’t know why but somehow this gives me some sense of satisfaction. I know a lot of this shit is useless, but somehow it makes me feel good about myself when I excel in it. Why this is, I may never know.
I’m more of an uneasy teenager than I think. That kinda sucks but its worth it. To feel passionately about anything for any amount of time is always worth it. To say to yourself that you’ve never felt so strongly about something, about anything, is always a gratifying realization. As is realizing that you’re not the slightest bit jaded, and that your heart and your mind are capable of feeling a tremendous amount of emotion at one time about one thing.
I will never ever be confident that anything I submit to this forum is the slightest bit enjoyable for any of you to read. But I do it anyway, cuz where else am I supposed to go and write about the stuff I write about on livejournal.