In Recognition of the Festive Spirit
In the interest of sharing with you all a little of my festive spirit (something clearly lacking from this journal), I thought I would share with you a few of the very valuable, seasonal lessons I have learned this year.
Christmas shopping, packed shopping centres and spending way too much money? Doesn't that just scream festive cheer to you?
Nat's First 3 Laws Of Shopping:
1) If I do not buy something when I see it, you can bet the item will be gone next time I go looking for it, even if the gap between spotting it and coming back for it, is how long it takes me to get to my ATM (this chance increases exponentially if a Who item is involved, because I am being stalked by Who Shopping Pygmies, but that’s a story for another day.)
In the instance that I do miss out on the item in question at this time, there is a 98% certainty that I will never be able to find that object again on shelves.
2) When I cannot find the item I am looking for, I will succumb to one shop's shiny lure of 'ordering' the object in. If I allow myself to be swayed by such false promises, and do indeed place an order, then, next time I walk into a competitors shop, I will find my desired object on the shelf (even if they have previously assured me that they will not be getting any copies in). The best thing about this is I will still have to wait the three weeks for my placed order to come in across the road, and I cannot cancel my original order without being out of pocket around $15.
3) When all the above has been done and I have finally managed to find/receive my item and I have paid full price for it, then next time I walk into the same store, the item will be sitting on the shelf in mass quantities at half the price I paid for the same thing a week earlier.
These laws are by no means definitive, and I am willing to add to them if you've learned anything equally important over your own silly season shopping.
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If this were the retail workers 3 laws of shopping, there would be something about douche customers, but I'll spare you all that for now.
P.S. - the above is not in any way related to Doctor Who. Oh. Yes it is. Stupid freaking DVD shops. "Oh we don't get them in, in mass quantities ever" *image of Nat standing in front of shelves packed with the first three seasons, all at half price.* I will shank somebody, I swear it
P.P.S. - For some reason I kept spelling ‘Shop’, ‘Shope’ through this post. Yeah, and I graduated with a degree in English today. Bah. It must be Archaic English. Also, no cracks about my grammar!
P.P.P.S. - Festive table is festive colours!