lost
this is weird. im not sad, mad, angry or anything that i normally am. i feel calm right now...but something's just not right.
whoever said high school is a lot of drama wasn't lying. as a matter of fact "a lot of drama" is an under statement. high school is a whirlwind of all kinds of crazy emotions. one minute you're here then the next you're somewhere totally different...somewhere u never expected to be. me, personally, i've kinda learned to deal with it...but i tell you...if college is ANYTHING like high school then i dont think i can handle it. there's only so much one can take ya know?
i realized today that i have great friends...amazing friends. they may not be there ALL the time..but they're never far away and when you need them they never fail to be there for you. im going to miss a lot of them...a whole lot. even the ones who you fall out with...it amazes me that she still has my back...and always will.
im lost at the moment. at a loss for words. i know how i feel but i have no idea how to express it. i have this overwhelming sense of "out of control" going on right now and it sucks b/c i love to be in control of what's going on in my life. i hate this feeling cause i always do things i have no business doing...and turning to a certain someone who i have NO business turning to. he knows that he has me...and he knows that no matter what i will run back to him. the fact that he knows that is dangerous. the fact that he knows this also makes me feel outta control.
at least high school is almost over. but i have this terrible feeling that college will not be much better. my gut tells me that everything im going through now (which is a hell of a lot) will seem like baby shit when im there. that scares me. i dont know if i can handle that. im a strong individual..but sometimes i just want to cry. cry out all the pain. and the part that sucks is that i want to cry...buti have no more tears. they just like...wont form. it's weird.
well im off to dance now. that always makes me feel good. i love those girls soo much. and they may very well be the only individuals (outside of my family) who love me.
whoever said high school is a lot of drama wasn't lying. as a matter of fact "a lot of drama" is an under statement. high school is a whirlwind of all kinds of crazy emotions. one minute you're here then the next you're somewhere totally different...somewhere u never expected to be. me, personally, i've kinda learned to deal with it...but i tell you...if college is ANYTHING like high school then i dont think i can handle it. there's only so much one can take ya know?
i realized today that i have great friends...amazing friends. they may not be there ALL the time..but they're never far away and when you need them they never fail to be there for you. im going to miss a lot of them...a whole lot. even the ones who you fall out with...it amazes me that she still has my back...and always will.
im lost at the moment. at a loss for words. i know how i feel but i have no idea how to express it. i have this overwhelming sense of "out of control" going on right now and it sucks b/c i love to be in control of what's going on in my life. i hate this feeling cause i always do things i have no business doing...and turning to a certain someone who i have NO business turning to. he knows that he has me...and he knows that no matter what i will run back to him. the fact that he knows that is dangerous. the fact that he knows this also makes me feel outta control.
at least high school is almost over. but i have this terrible feeling that college will not be much better. my gut tells me that everything im going through now (which is a hell of a lot) will seem like baby shit when im there. that scares me. i dont know if i can handle that. im a strong individual..but sometimes i just want to cry. cry out all the pain. and the part that sucks is that i want to cry...buti have no more tears. they just like...wont form. it's weird.
well im off to dance now. that always makes me feel good. i love those girls soo much. and they may very well be the only individuals (outside of my family) who love me.