1. To get happily married to K.A. and have a bunch of children together and raise them together; and to resolve all the problems in my family that prevent us from being close.
2. K.A.'s love and affection. I've had some of it once b4 and till this day, i've STILL never felt anything better.
3. My purity. I've been able to retain some of my innocence from when i was a child and it allows me to do stuff. One of those things is my belief that i can do anything. That's the reason why i went from hopelessly failing at DDR on beginner mode, to being able to funk wit 10 footers only 3 months later. That's also the reason why i was able to score averages of 95.25% the last 2 years of H.S. after struggling just to get a C during the 1st 2 years. And alotta otha stuff that i personally find spectacular.
4. I see you as a good person and i believe you truly are. I just hope u won't let this cruel world corrupt u into being a devil. I was the only 1 out of my clique, when i was a boy, to NOT get sent to a home or jail, or both. That was because i made the decision to REFUSE the negative things i was aware of in my life. I would LOVE for you to do the same.
oh, and when it was legal for me to look (i'm 21 now) i noticed u were a cutie. But until ur birthday, ur just another asian with glasses :P
5. I hold back my presumptions. I don't like to assume things AT ALL. But the problem with that is that i feel i give ppl the benefit of the doubt WAY too often. Other than that, i'm very honest and open about nearly everything
6. No. I don't trust anyone. Not even my own mother. Sometimes, i don't even trust myself. But i allow ppl to BELIEVE i trust them because i go thru the motions of trust. But really, i'm only playing along until that person betrays that false trust. If u don't understand that, i hope i say it better this way: I'll treat u like an honest person--although i don't totally believe that--but i'm ready at EVERY moment for you to turn on me. You might say that i hide a constant PARANOiA.
7. "We Fall Down" by Donnie McClurkin. You should download it ASAP. That song REALLY helped me during the lowest point in my life. It's soooooo simple, yet soooooo meaningful. It's a gospel song (although i don't believe in any religion). When he makes his subtle references to god in the song, i think of god as myself as MY idol of worship. But don't get me wrong, i'm not anti-religious. I actually admire religion when it shields people from being corrupted.
8. I can only speak for myself b/c i don't even know all the ppl that care about you. But I care about you b/c i enjoy your company and i think ur a good person. I surround myself with good ppl; not just b/c i enjoy them, but b/c they are my strength to remain good myself.
9. You express yourself. I saw, in your room, all the writings you hung on your wall. It's good therapy to freely express yourself. And since you're willing to do that, it gives you a SIGNIFICANT advantage toward becoming that person you want to become.
10. Freedom and Innocence. Freedom to go anywhere and do anything you wish to do. Innocence to be able to enjoy your experiences without being corrupted by negative thoughts or actions.
11. When you ask them all the reasons WHY they care about/love you and eventually discover ALL the secrets behind the reasons they feel that way. But also, at the same time, when you're willing to rid urself of ur self-consciousness of it and NOT do anything to hurt those people (whether it be unjustly lashing out at them wen ur in a bad mood, or not SHOWING them u appreciate them, or any of the other small things in life that hurt people).
2. K.A.'s love and affection. I've had some of it once b4 and till this day, i've STILL never felt anything better.
3. My purity. I've been able to retain some of my innocence from when i was a child and it allows me to do stuff. One of those things is my belief that i can do anything. That's the reason why i went from hopelessly failing at DDR on beginner mode, to being able to funk wit 10 footers only 3 months later. That's also the reason why i was able to score averages of 95.25% the last 2 years of H.S. after struggling just to get a C during the 1st 2 years. And alotta otha stuff that i personally find spectacular.
4. I see you as a good person and i believe you truly are. I just hope u won't let this cruel world corrupt u into being a devil. I was the only 1 out of my clique, when i was a boy, to NOT get sent to a home or jail, or both. That was because i made the decision to REFUSE the negative things i was aware of in my life. I would LOVE for you to do the same.
oh, and when it was legal for me to look (i'm 21 now) i noticed u were a cutie. But until ur birthday, ur just another asian with glasses :P
5. I hold back my presumptions. I don't like to assume things AT ALL. But the problem with that is that i feel i give ppl the benefit of the doubt WAY too often. Other than that, i'm very honest and open about nearly everything
6. No. I don't trust anyone. Not even my own mother. Sometimes, i don't even trust myself. But i allow ppl to BELIEVE i trust them because i go thru the motions of trust. But really, i'm only playing along until that person betrays that false trust. If u don't understand that, i hope i say it better this way: I'll treat u like an honest person--although i don't totally believe that--but i'm ready at EVERY moment for you to turn on me. You might say that i hide a constant PARANOiA.
7. "We Fall Down" by Donnie McClurkin. You should download it ASAP. That song REALLY helped me during the lowest point in my life. It's soooooo simple, yet soooooo meaningful. It's a gospel song (although i don't believe in any religion). When he makes his subtle references to god in the song, i think of god as myself as MY idol of worship. But don't get me wrong, i'm not anti-religious. I actually admire religion when it shields people from being corrupted.
8. I can only speak for myself b/c i don't even know all the ppl that care about you. But I care about you b/c i enjoy your company and i think ur a good person. I surround myself with good ppl; not just b/c i enjoy them, but b/c they are my strength to remain good myself.
9. You express yourself. I saw, in your room, all the writings you hung on your wall. It's good therapy to freely express yourself. And since you're willing to do that, it gives you a SIGNIFICANT advantage toward becoming that person you want to become.
10. Freedom and Innocence. Freedom to go anywhere and do anything you wish to do. Innocence to be able to enjoy your experiences without being corrupted by negative thoughts or actions.
11. When you ask them all the reasons WHY they care about/love you and eventually discover ALL the secrets behind the reasons they feel that way. But also, at the same time, when you're willing to rid urself of ur self-consciousness of it and NOT do anything to hurt those people (whether it be unjustly lashing out at them wen ur in a bad mood, or not SHOWING them u appreciate them, or any of the other small things in life that hurt people).
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