*Insert Madeleine Kahn song here*---"I'm tired...."
I've always been a big girl and, if you've read even a little of this journal, you know that I am far from being ashamed about my size. I am like who I am as a person because I'm funny, smart, talented, and pretty. And I have enormous jugs. There's a lot to love, literally and figuratively.
But, the thing is, I'm sick. My body aches and my joints, especially my knees hurt. I was getting better for awhile. I could tell because the stairs in my house were becoming easier to climb. They are getting hard to navigate again and that frightens me. Because I really can't continue on like this.
I have pretty much laid around the house all winter. On top of that there has been a lot of--let me be brutally honest here--binging. I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm watching TV. I eat when somebody points out that I shouldn't eat. And, here's the most frightening part, I eat when I'm alone. Like any good addict.
I need to make a change. Truth be told, I was crushed when I didn't get a callback from "The Biggest Loser." I sort of felt like I needed that in order to know what to do and how to start. I don't particularly want to be a Skinny Minnie. I'd settle for the size I was in high school or the weight on my driver's license.
Even my self-esteem has plummeted lately. That's the real reason I went to the salon and put the highlights in my hair. I needed a boost. (And many, many of my lovely FB friends provided just that.)
But, the thing is, I'm sick. My body aches and my joints, especially my knees hurt. I was getting better for awhile. I could tell because the stairs in my house were becoming easier to climb. They are getting hard to navigate again and that frightens me. Because I really can't continue on like this.
I have pretty much laid around the house all winter. On top of that there has been a lot of--let me be brutally honest here--binging. I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm watching TV. I eat when somebody points out that I shouldn't eat. And, here's the most frightening part, I eat when I'm alone. Like any good addict.
I need to make a change. Truth be told, I was crushed when I didn't get a callback from "The Biggest Loser." I sort of felt like I needed that in order to know what to do and how to start. I don't particularly want to be a Skinny Minnie. I'd settle for the size I was in high school or the weight on my driver's license.
Even my self-esteem has plummeted lately. That's the real reason I went to the salon and put the highlights in my hair. I needed a boost. (And many, many of my lovely FB friends provided just that.)