Characters:Ryan "Cokewhore" Ross & mikeyway
1.Tampons
2.Strudel
3.Ink
4.Boobies
5.Absolut [Vodka]
"So this one time Brendon was all 'Ryan You're SOOOO BEAUTIFUL!' or something like that, and THAT is why I have to be female...because like, Brendon wouldn't think I was pretty if I was a guy, right?"
Currently Mikey wasn't entirely sure who this person talking to him was, or how he got past Big Worm, or who Brendon was. The young err-boy in front of him then stuck a hand in the pocket of his pants. Mikey backed up slowly, hoping he just wanted him to autograph something and then he'd leave. What Ryan pulled from his pocket made no sense to Mikey.
"SEE! I got these becasue I figured, well...If I'm a girl I'm gonna need tampons for when I become a bitch or whatever, right?" Ryan was waving the tampon around wildly as he spoke. Mikey grabbed it from his hand with monkey-like reflexes. Ryan blabbered on as Mikey did the only thing he could think to do.
Autograph the tampon. With a pen. A pen that contained ink. Red Ink. His signature looked like his name in period blood on a tampon. He shrugged and threw it back at the person and began to walk away briskly.
"...So yeah, I know I don't have boobies, but it makes SOOO much more sense that I'm a girl then right? Mikey?" Ryan noticed Mikey was walking quickly away and ran to catch up to him, he still hadn't got Mikey's approval of his theories. That's when he noticed Mikey about to slip on a pastry that someone had carelessly left in the middle of the road.
"MIKEY OMFG NOOOO! DON'T STEP ON THE STRUDEL! IT WANTS TO STEAL YOUR SOUL!" Alas, Ryan was too late, and Mikey step directly on the baked good and screamed out in terror.
They both stood scratching their heads for a few minutes contemplating the squished strudel. Then Ryan started back in, "Oh, and I also loooove raspberry flavored Absolut vodka, even though they spell it wrong. Everyone knows all words in in Es, and only girls drink that so, I gotta be female right? Who would've known, The Ryan Ross, was a girl!?"
Mikey picked the pastry from under his mighty boot, signed it it, 'Dear The Ryan Ross, apparently female, go away-MIKEY'
He proceeded to stuff the ruined strudel into Ryan's mouth and walk away. It was cream cheese flavored, and Ryan decided that was just alright with him.
THE END.
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A/N: Written for
Pantanamo