rambling... but not entirely pointless?
Well, I suppose that was deserved. I forgot that I should never get my hopes high. Although, following through with what you say you're going to do isn't alot to ask... unless it is, and no one ever told me.
I feel like such a tool.
Also note, as much as I adore RENT and all of that happy crap, I find it incredibly unreasonable to live your life without regrets. There is always something that you wish you did, or wish you hadn't done. Things you wish you would've said or times when you've wanted to smack yourself upside the head for saying something so fucking retarded. I can't say that I regret too much these past 19 (nearly 20!?) years.
This has no direction whatsoever, but it just bothers me when people say, "Oh, I'm trying to live my life without regrets." If you try to live your life that way, you'll never make mistakes-- and making mistakes is the only way you can really learn anything. I'm not saying to go and screw yourself up, but you can't learn how to move on and adapt without learning how to heal. And you can't learn how to heal without being hurt. And you can't get hurt (infact you can't get ANYWHERE) without taking risks or just making that leap of faith. And as awful as that may sound, it's the truth. It's reality.
Sometimes I really wish I had submitted my transfer to ASU this past spring, and then I wouldn't have to deal with alot of petty shit that's going on right now. 2700 miles away... Not saying that running away is a better solution, but life would've become wonderfully simple. But then I see how happy I really am here. My friends from my hall last year, and all the amazing people I've met thus far this fall. Not to mention the amount of classes I'd have to make up in Arizona.. ugh, that's a headache.
I guess it's time to start living life for myself. Stop sweating the small stuff. Have fun and work hard (as always).
...I just wish some other people would let me live this way.
[You'll notice that this is the first public entry after... a really long time. I'm just curious to see who is actually reading this.]
I feel like such a tool.
Also note, as much as I adore RENT and all of that happy crap, I find it incredibly unreasonable to live your life without regrets. There is always something that you wish you did, or wish you hadn't done. Things you wish you would've said or times when you've wanted to smack yourself upside the head for saying something so fucking retarded. I can't say that I regret too much these past 19 (nearly 20!?) years.
This has no direction whatsoever, but it just bothers me when people say, "Oh, I'm trying to live my life without regrets." If you try to live your life that way, you'll never make mistakes-- and making mistakes is the only way you can really learn anything. I'm not saying to go and screw yourself up, but you can't learn how to move on and adapt without learning how to heal. And you can't learn how to heal without being hurt. And you can't get hurt (infact you can't get ANYWHERE) without taking risks or just making that leap of faith. And as awful as that may sound, it's the truth. It's reality.
Sometimes I really wish I had submitted my transfer to ASU this past spring, and then I wouldn't have to deal with alot of petty shit that's going on right now. 2700 miles away... Not saying that running away is a better solution, but life would've become wonderfully simple. But then I see how happy I really am here. My friends from my hall last year, and all the amazing people I've met thus far this fall. Not to mention the amount of classes I'd have to make up in Arizona.. ugh, that's a headache.
I guess it's time to start living life for myself. Stop sweating the small stuff. Have fun and work hard (as always).
...I just wish some other people would let me live this way.
[You'll notice that this is the first public entry after... a really long time. I'm just curious to see who is actually reading this.]