The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...
I am SO insanely bored out of my motherfuckin mind!!! I cant even stand it! I want to shoot myself in the fuckin face! I dont have any homework to do, I dont have anymore emails to check, I dont have anyone to talk to, I dont have anything to do!!! All I do anymore is think. And I hate thinking! I read way too much into stuff and then make myself paranoid, or in this case, extremely jealous.
I wish... Ugh... I wish a lot of things.
I dream a lot now. I dream of my life falling apart. Half the time it's just me overexaggerating about little things, the other half is actual problems... I dont know what to do anymore...
My mom is driving me insane. She tried to kill herself, though she didnt succeed. She didnt try very hard. Im not impressed. She acts like a fucking 10 year old. She throws tantrums when she doesnt get her way and she gets SO jealous so fast over the dumbest things...
I miss my daddy, so Im staying there more and more. Im just afraid to get sick again. Ecoli was not a fun thing.
Im getting my other two wisdom teeth out on May 25th. Im not looking forward to that. But at least it's after the MCR concert and my bridging ceremony. It's a three-day weekend so hopefully I wont be too swollen by the time school starts so that I dont have to miss any.
I've missed so much school lately. Im scared that Im going to get too many absences. I still have like, 3.5 months left... And my mom found out that I've been skipping... I tried to play it off and she bought it at the time, but I have a feeling if she tries to look anymore into it, she's gonna notice that I just lied to her face. She may be an idiot, but she's not a complete moron...
Im pretty sure my dad got high the other day. I rescued him from a concert on friday, a phunk concert. He was like "So, I dunno if you noticed I was a little 'happy' on friday... but uh... " and I was like "contact high? or regular" he was like "Uhm... so how bout this Lost show... pretty sweet, yes?" I just laughed... lol
Jeff wont stop begging for me back. It is definitly an ego boost, I knew he'd regret it. He keeps saying that he's trying to fix his mistake and that he misses me and loves me. But I just dont want him anymore. Im done. I outgrew him and I can do better. He just doesnt understand what he put me through and that those memories cant be erased. Ugh... I keep telling him to leave me alone too, but he just doesnt get the hint. Friends is all I want at this point in time.
I dont wanna go to college anymore. I wanna stay here with my friends. I'd even be willing to live with my mom. I just dont wanna be alone. I hate making new friends. I dont WANT to make new friends. I just dont want change. These months are going by SO fast... there are only 3 months left! Then Im done with school! Im pretty excited for summer, but it's my last summer pretty much and Im going to be working everyday for billions of hours... 8am-6pm. HO SHIT that's a lot of money, but I want to spend time with my friends too... I'll have saturday and sunday... but sheesh. It's summer! Oh well *sigh* I'll deal.
Wow... I cant think of anything else to write about...
Uhm... this crush thing is rediculous... I wish I didnt have it. Actually, what I really wish is that he had one on me too. That'd be pretty bomb. I'd be ok with that :P But I feel sad all the time now. That's how they always work though. Crushes are retarded. All they make you do is feel sad and lonely and miserable. Im so jealous of her! I wish he would like me the way he likes her *grumble*
So, uh... Congratulations on reading all this. *high five* I've wasted enough of your time and not enough of mine. Maybe I'll go play solitare or something...
<3
I wish... Ugh... I wish a lot of things.
I dream a lot now. I dream of my life falling apart. Half the time it's just me overexaggerating about little things, the other half is actual problems... I dont know what to do anymore...
My mom is driving me insane. She tried to kill herself, though she didnt succeed. She didnt try very hard. Im not impressed. She acts like a fucking 10 year old. She throws tantrums when she doesnt get her way and she gets SO jealous so fast over the dumbest things...
I miss my daddy, so Im staying there more and more. Im just afraid to get sick again. Ecoli was not a fun thing.
Im getting my other two wisdom teeth out on May 25th. Im not looking forward to that. But at least it's after the MCR concert and my bridging ceremony. It's a three-day weekend so hopefully I wont be too swollen by the time school starts so that I dont have to miss any.
I've missed so much school lately. Im scared that Im going to get too many absences. I still have like, 3.5 months left... And my mom found out that I've been skipping... I tried to play it off and she bought it at the time, but I have a feeling if she tries to look anymore into it, she's gonna notice that I just lied to her face. She may be an idiot, but she's not a complete moron...
Im pretty sure my dad got high the other day. I rescued him from a concert on friday, a phunk concert. He was like "So, I dunno if you noticed I was a little 'happy' on friday... but uh... " and I was like "contact high? or regular" he was like "Uhm... so how bout this Lost show... pretty sweet, yes?" I just laughed... lol
Jeff wont stop begging for me back. It is definitly an ego boost, I knew he'd regret it. He keeps saying that he's trying to fix his mistake and that he misses me and loves me. But I just dont want him anymore. Im done. I outgrew him and I can do better. He just doesnt understand what he put me through and that those memories cant be erased. Ugh... I keep telling him to leave me alone too, but he just doesnt get the hint. Friends is all I want at this point in time.
I dont wanna go to college anymore. I wanna stay here with my friends. I'd even be willing to live with my mom. I just dont wanna be alone. I hate making new friends. I dont WANT to make new friends. I just dont want change. These months are going by SO fast... there are only 3 months left! Then Im done with school! Im pretty excited for summer, but it's my last summer pretty much and Im going to be working everyday for billions of hours... 8am-6pm. HO SHIT that's a lot of money, but I want to spend time with my friends too... I'll have saturday and sunday... but sheesh. It's summer! Oh well *sigh* I'll deal.
Wow... I cant think of anything else to write about...
Uhm... this crush thing is rediculous... I wish I didnt have it. Actually, what I really wish is that he had one on me too. That'd be pretty bomb. I'd be ok with that :P But I feel sad all the time now. That's how they always work though. Crushes are retarded. All they make you do is feel sad and lonely and miserable. Im so jealous of her! I wish he would like me the way he likes her *grumble*
So, uh... Congratulations on reading all this. *high five* I've wasted enough of your time and not enough of mine. Maybe I'll go play solitare or something...
<3