(no subject)
im so fucking bored right now i think i might just go watch tv soon. im not in the mood to really send many comments etc to anyone on myspace fuck em they can comment me first for once. id write a blog on myspace but nothing interesting has really happened and im not one to put useless bullshit cept on here haha.
the only thing is how much i hate my job. i thought id get used to the 1 hour drive there and home again but im not im hatin to more. i cant even take chris's class when he needs me too and that shitted me off more when ever i think of that. i wanted a job on this side of town but no. the only thing im willing to travel for is a show not for work everyday. and then i had the talk to today. i knew thered be something wrong as if there is ever something good. apparently there have been some customers who have said about my phone manner i dont see any prob unless they think i dont sound friendly enough but im not one to have a full on over the top fake friendly voice im professional. but then i had some old lady who i tried to explain something too and she didnt understand so i had to give her to someone else who said what i had explained in the same way and she got it i was like what the? and this other asshole old guy who reckons i didnt send a mess to someone to call em back fuck that. and then of course there is me being late. for one i cant control the fucking traffic some days its clear and i get there like 10 mins early i have nothing else to do so they get 10 mins extra work from me without me being paid for it. i can leave earlier too and still be late cause the traffic can be that bad at that time in the morning. but its not like im overly late only 10 mins at most and it isnt all the time either. that and when i first started there i was thinking what the fuck and then i found out that their clocks are all 5 mins fast so even though i was on time on my watch according to them i was late. one of them said try gettin up half an hour earlier and leaving half an hour earlier for one i have to share the bathroom with my sis she has the shower at that time in the morning. two im not a morning person im lucky to even get up at the time i do now. three do they really want a mindless zombie walkin around not doin her job properly cause shes that tired. four id be that tired i wouldnt be concentrating on the road as well which could possibly result in a accident with all these crazy fucks on the road and last but not least id get there half an hour early what the fuck would i do in that time. im not happy i have to look for another job even though i dont like the idea of being there 2 months and saying fuck yas.
the only other thing thats on my mind is this guy ive been talkin to online. he lives at like logan and plays the guitar. he seems pretty cool so far been having good convos with him with me doin most of the talkin though. i decided to ask all the boring useless questions like what your fav colour. he didnt mind them cause its something to do as he put it. it was kinda funny i asked what colours he likes and he told me then asked mine so i told him and he was like i dont like blue or red and im like well i dont like green or yellow i think it is haha. we've been having some good laughs. only thing is hes younger then me hes like 19 why do i seem to go for the younger oens. but he has a lip ring aahh no fair im a sucker for lip rings. for some reason i told him they are cool and that i think they are hot go figure. i also found out that hes single and that his last gf was like really clingy wanting to know what he was doin all the time and his every move basically how nuts who cares i mean as long as they arent gettin up to no good who gives haha. but yeah im tryin got get him to come to the charged fest on sat so i can meet the dude. ive gotten that way that i just come online to see if hes on and only stay on hopeing hed come on cause i enjoy our convos so much its weird.
i also seem to have dreams of where i have this totally amazing bf and i fully kiss him in front of rory and just be all happy and shit. and that rory gets like jealous/pissed off that im so happy and no matter what he says he cant make me miserable like he usually does diggin up past memories when i see him. i try to ignore the fucker but he always says something to me. i always dream too that i tell him off tell him to get over himself and that hes just a poser and for him to stop talkin to me because i dont associate with posers just in case the poser disease rubs off on me. the thing that i dont get though is why would i dream of him being jealous or pissed off about me having some awesome guy and being so happy as if hed care and why would he be jealous i dont get that part but in one way i like those dreams as i would so like to give it to him. it seems i have pulled some new found confidence out of thin air by asking if i can have this disables poster form rockinghorse which everone does but i never do and just talkin so easily to random people and jud and pete and eddie from the dsiables so maybe one day ill have that opportunity to show rory that even though it still cuts me up that it doesnt control my life and that im happy without him and that i am fully over him but that he shld get over himself and how he is just a poser and that if he didnt go out with me he wouldnt be hanging with his little following of posers hed still be back where he was looking like a geek smoking his weed. if only.
the thing that will not happen is to have some amazing guy its a fairytale for me anyway. it seems some of my friends have found the perfect person for them like sarah and lauren. i have never really had that, i wish i could have but i doubt i ever truely will have that
the only thing is how much i hate my job. i thought id get used to the 1 hour drive there and home again but im not im hatin to more. i cant even take chris's class when he needs me too and that shitted me off more when ever i think of that. i wanted a job on this side of town but no. the only thing im willing to travel for is a show not for work everyday. and then i had the talk to today. i knew thered be something wrong as if there is ever something good. apparently there have been some customers who have said about my phone manner i dont see any prob unless they think i dont sound friendly enough but im not one to have a full on over the top fake friendly voice im professional. but then i had some old lady who i tried to explain something too and she didnt understand so i had to give her to someone else who said what i had explained in the same way and she got it i was like what the? and this other asshole old guy who reckons i didnt send a mess to someone to call em back fuck that. and then of course there is me being late. for one i cant control the fucking traffic some days its clear and i get there like 10 mins early i have nothing else to do so they get 10 mins extra work from me without me being paid for it. i can leave earlier too and still be late cause the traffic can be that bad at that time in the morning. but its not like im overly late only 10 mins at most and it isnt all the time either. that and when i first started there i was thinking what the fuck and then i found out that their clocks are all 5 mins fast so even though i was on time on my watch according to them i was late. one of them said try gettin up half an hour earlier and leaving half an hour earlier for one i have to share the bathroom with my sis she has the shower at that time in the morning. two im not a morning person im lucky to even get up at the time i do now. three do they really want a mindless zombie walkin around not doin her job properly cause shes that tired. four id be that tired i wouldnt be concentrating on the road as well which could possibly result in a accident with all these crazy fucks on the road and last but not least id get there half an hour early what the fuck would i do in that time. im not happy i have to look for another job even though i dont like the idea of being there 2 months and saying fuck yas.
the only other thing thats on my mind is this guy ive been talkin to online. he lives at like logan and plays the guitar. he seems pretty cool so far been having good convos with him with me doin most of the talkin though. i decided to ask all the boring useless questions like what your fav colour. he didnt mind them cause its something to do as he put it. it was kinda funny i asked what colours he likes and he told me then asked mine so i told him and he was like i dont like blue or red and im like well i dont like green or yellow i think it is haha. we've been having some good laughs. only thing is hes younger then me hes like 19 why do i seem to go for the younger oens. but he has a lip ring aahh no fair im a sucker for lip rings. for some reason i told him they are cool and that i think they are hot go figure. i also found out that hes single and that his last gf was like really clingy wanting to know what he was doin all the time and his every move basically how nuts who cares i mean as long as they arent gettin up to no good who gives haha. but yeah im tryin got get him to come to the charged fest on sat so i can meet the dude. ive gotten that way that i just come online to see if hes on and only stay on hopeing hed come on cause i enjoy our convos so much its weird.
i also seem to have dreams of where i have this totally amazing bf and i fully kiss him in front of rory and just be all happy and shit. and that rory gets like jealous/pissed off that im so happy and no matter what he says he cant make me miserable like he usually does diggin up past memories when i see him. i try to ignore the fucker but he always says something to me. i always dream too that i tell him off tell him to get over himself and that hes just a poser and for him to stop talkin to me because i dont associate with posers just in case the poser disease rubs off on me. the thing that i dont get though is why would i dream of him being jealous or pissed off about me having some awesome guy and being so happy as if hed care and why would he be jealous i dont get that part but in one way i like those dreams as i would so like to give it to him. it seems i have pulled some new found confidence out of thin air by asking if i can have this disables poster form rockinghorse which everone does but i never do and just talkin so easily to random people and jud and pete and eddie from the dsiables so maybe one day ill have that opportunity to show rory that even though it still cuts me up that it doesnt control my life and that im happy without him and that i am fully over him but that he shld get over himself and how he is just a poser and that if he didnt go out with me he wouldnt be hanging with his little following of posers hed still be back where he was looking like a geek smoking his weed. if only.
the thing that will not happen is to have some amazing guy its a fairytale for me anyway. it seems some of my friends have found the perfect person for them like sarah and lauren. i have never really had that, i wish i could have but i doubt i ever truely will have that