Confessions of a Recovering Picky Eater
This is, in a way, another pass at something I've posted about before. If you weren't reading my journal in 2001, or were but have probably forgotten (historical note: keristor, you didn't have an lj yet, but you commented anyway!), feel free to pop over there first for background.
All right? Good.
Now. I used to be an picky eater of epic fussiness. I was exceptionally careful about dinner invitations, because (a) there was a good chance there might not be anything on the menu I could EAT, and (b) I was loathe to get myself into a situation where the people I was going to dinner with might find this out unexpectedly. Sort of a combination of worry and shame.
Over the years, the range of 'foods I can eat without it being Very Adventurous' has widened astronomically, so I've gotten much more carefree about accepting invitations without researching the restaurant first. And now it's caught me, and I'm hung by my own petard.
Tonight, I am going to dinner with a large group of friends and acquaintances at a restaurant whose food-genre I can only describe as 'too many ingredients per dish.' Examples will follow below, but this is a widespread restaurant-genre. Luckily for me, they usually have at least one or two dishes on the menu I can eat. Unfortunately for me, 90% of the menu is usually made up of dishes that make me say, "Ooh, that sounds really, really good -- except for the ____."
It turns out that the place I'm eating tonight has not a single dish on the menu that doesn't fall into the latter category.
But I've committed to go, and I WILL enjoy the company ... so I just need to make my decisions before I get there so nobody at the table sees me wibbling and considering and making calculations about how little I need to ask to have left off for it to become edible ...
All right? Good.
Now. I used to be an picky eater of epic fussiness. I was exceptionally careful about dinner invitations, because (a) there was a good chance there might not be anything on the menu I could EAT, and (b) I was loathe to get myself into a situation where the people I was going to dinner with might find this out unexpectedly. Sort of a combination of worry and shame.
Over the years, the range of 'foods I can eat without it being Very Adventurous' has widened astronomically, so I've gotten much more carefree about accepting invitations without researching the restaurant first. And now it's caught me, and I'm hung by my own petard.
Tonight, I am going to dinner with a large group of friends and acquaintances at a restaurant whose food-genre I can only describe as 'too many ingredients per dish.' Examples will follow below, but this is a widespread restaurant-genre. Luckily for me, they usually have at least one or two dishes on the menu I can eat. Unfortunately for me, 90% of the menu is usually made up of dishes that make me say, "Ooh, that sounds really, really good -- except for the ____."
It turns out that the place I'm eating tonight has not a single dish on the menu that doesn't fall into the latter category.
- Jamaican Skillet BBQ Pork Tenderloin with Candied Sweet Potato Puree and BBQ Jerk Sauce Jerk sauce is always a dangerspot for me, because so many things can be all CALLED that and yet taste very, very different. If I can't predict what I'll get, I don't order (to avoid wasted money and food). Also, 'Jamaican' in menus is usually code for "Good luck guessing how spicy it's going to be."
- Grilled Focaccia with Goat Cheese - Roasted Tomato Fondue Some goat cheese I like. Some tastes like gym socks. Also, 'roasted tomato' usually also has bell peppers in it, which are a universal no from me.
- Baby Mixed Greens with Goat Brie Cheese, Poached Apples & Walnuts with Riesling Vinaigrette I don't like brie, and I don't like sweets in my savory dishes (like these apples), just desserts.
- Grilled Mini Filet Mignon Sandwiches (4) with Blue Cheese Cream Sauce & Caramelized Onions I don't like bleu cheese, even when spelled wrong.
- Chickpea Hummus with Feta, Kalamata and Parsley Salad; served with Warm Pita Olives are nasty. Also, I don't like feta (see previous comments about 'gym socks').
- Baked Macaroni & Three Cheeses with Lobster This is a maaaaaaybe. Though 'three cheeses' lights up my worry-meter, because God only knows WHICH three. Please, Lord, not bleu or feta ... I'll ask the server.
- Thai Lettuce Wraps … with Satay Chicken Strips, Carrots, Bean Sprouts, Coconut Curry Noodles and Bibb Lettuce Leaves with Three Spicy Thai Sauces - Peanut, Sweet Red Chili and Tamarind-Cashew I don't like Thai sweet-milky curry, or coconut, or chili sauce, or tamarind. So basically this is a huge no, for me.
- Miniature Lump Crab Cakes with Sweet Corn Sauce; Red Pepper Marmalade and Tortilla Crisps Bell peppers. This is my second maaaaaybe, though I'll have to Sally-Albright it and ask the marmalade on the side. I really dislike Sallying; I've waited tables, and custom orders are annoying. I utterly refuse to Sally on more than one thing per dinner trip, and will just order something else to avoid doing it.
- Grilled Chicken, Arugula, Asian Pear, Blue Cheese, and Candied Pecans tossed with Dijon Buttermilk Dressing Arugula is no, but I can pick it off. Pear, candied pecans: see 'no sweets on my meat, plz.' Also, bleu cheese.
- Coriander Crusted Sea Scallops with Warm Asian Slaw and Spicy-Sweet Wasabi Cream Coriander can become overwhelming in some chefs' hands, which worries me. Also, 'slaw' almost always describes something I will hate. And wasabi should NOT be sweet, IMHO.
- Mojo Glazed Chicken Breast with Cranberry Walnut Orzo and Braised Greens What's 'Mojo'? Riiight. Also, 'sweets on my meat'.
- Flat Bread Pizzas: Pepperoni, Italian Sausage, Mushrooms, Onions and Peppers with Mozzarella and Marinara Sauce They had me till the peppers. I might get this and Sally it.
- Flat Bread Pizzas: Fresh Tomato, Fresh Basil, Mozzarella, Fontina and Parmesan Cheeses Basil quickly becomes overwhelming and no-like-it for me.
- Flat Bread Pizzas: Barbecue Chicken, Smoked Gouda and Mozzarella Cheeses with Red Onion and Cilantro Cilantro tastes like dish soap to me. Also, 'barbecue' is another mystery-meat ingredient on menus: it might mean what John calls barbecue (slow-roasted and smoked, yum) or might mean 'slathered in weird sweet brown sauces' (eew).
- Flat Bread Pizzas: Oven-Roasted Tomato, Spinach, Artichoke and a Touch of Garlic Artichoke, ick.
But I've committed to go, and I WILL enjoy the company ... so I just need to make my decisions before I get there so nobody at the table sees me wibbling and considering and making calculations about how little I need to ask to have left off for it to become edible ...