i love him.
4-11-05 1:11am, dear diary, he doesnt know how i feel,i tell him everything,i tell him i love him and i know he doesnt believe me,i write him love poems i get him cards, i call him to tell him i love him and he still doesnt get it.he calls me and im out the door just to see him i get ready as fast as humanlly possible and he still doesnt know.iits really makes me crazy when i tell him exactlly what i feel and it goes out one ear and out the other or he'll laugh his little laugh and say something,can he feel it in my kiss?can he see it in my eyes??my heart is despertlly trying to get through to him and he puts it on hold.sometimes i think he feels the same and sometimes not more than not i think he does but i have so many insecuritys,is it hard to love me?the other night we were in bed and i tryed to be so romantic and i got the feeling he wanted to do it a little differntlly if u know what i mean,i started to think about things,later when all was said and done we were lying next to each other in bed and i couldnt help it,i started to cry i thought the reason was obvious but i guess it wasnt,im in love with him right in front of his very eyes and he cant see it ,i cant go back i cant stop,its too late.my heart is in his hands and sometimes im a little scared,alls i know is one heart is gonna break and i dont think itll be his.