Rant about guys brought on from watching "The Last Kiss"
In an earlier entry, I was talking about love. How love is messy, inconvenient, takes work. Remember this? Well now I have the perfect movie to go with this theme.
This movie is "The Last Kiss", which stars Zach Braff and Rachel Bilson.
This is the type of movie to watch when you are in a good, old-fashioned, love-hating, guy-bashing mood. You know those kinds of movies.
In TLK, Zach Braff plays the role of a man whose girlfriend is pregnant; they aren't married, but they are in love. He keeps finding ways to side-step the discussion of marriage and a future; he's scared of the future and the "finality" of it. Braff may be the main character, but his story falls into the background at times as all of the other characters have problems in their relationships. Braff's girlfriend's parents seperate from each other; a friend of Braff is "trapped" in his marriage to a shrew of a woman and their child; another friend is trying to get over a woman who he still loves, but does not love him back, as well as deal with the failing health of his father; still another friend finds himself in his dream relationship--he finds himself "the perfect girl" who doesn't care what he does, has amazing sex with, etc.--but finds it moving too fast when she wants him to meet her parents; and last, Rachel Bilson plays a college student that tempts Braff into adultery.
What. The. Fuck.
All right, here we go. Strap on your seatbelts and keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times.
Men are scum. I was already feeling this before watching this movie, but this just solidifies my thoughts on the subject. As a whole, men are completely stupid, think with the WRONG head, are disgusting pigs. Now yes, I KNOW that there are some good guys left in the world--I am friends with plenty of them--but the fact still remains. Case in point: the fact that men are three times more likely than women to cheat in a relationship (however, the percentage of men who admit to cheating on their significant other is relatively low, only about 35%). I know, I have been in a NUMBER of relationships where I have been cheated on--in some cases, multiple times because I was stupid myself and went back to the fuckers because they told me that they would change. Men are jerks. Men are insensitive; men are oblivious to an awful lot of things, unless they play some kind of sport or have boobs. And even then, men find new ways to mistreat them.
Again, I should know. While I was only in one relationship where I was in actual danger--abuse is NEVER a fun thing to go through--there were many other relationships where I was emotionally and verbally abused. Told I was scum, I wasn't pretty, I would never BE pretty, I was stupid, I wasn't talented, that no guy would ever want me. And for a long, long time, I was stupid enough to believe that. I was stupid enough to let that effect me. I was stupid enough to let that damage me. Well, no more.
Watching this movie tonight, I realize the importance, the vitality of love. But I also realize that in a loving relationship, the feelings of the other person come first; the other person is the person THAT YOU PUT ABOVE ALL OTHERS. If you love that person, then the stupid little defects, the little quirks that they have won't bother you as much. At least, they shouldn't. You should be able to look past them to their character, their soul. When a person gives you their heart, they trust that you will not break it. They trust you enough to give you a vital part of themselves, and if you screw that up...well, that's your own damn fault.
I once dated a guy who said that he couldn't stand his on-again, off-again girlfriend. She was immature, indecisive, had cheated on him. He wanted a relationship with me, and things went well for a while, until he cheated on me--with guess who? That's right.
He never even apologized for hurting me.
I don't think he ever even realized, which is sad, because I actually cried over him for days on end. I wasted all of those tears on someone who probably forgot about me within a few hours of telling me he cheated on me.
Guys are scum. Guys are horrible, mean, awful, shouldn't be allowed to breed. Guys are stupid, guys are disgusting, guys are heartless, guys are assholes.
However.
(There's always a however.) However. Love is hard. Love takes work. Once you look past all the grime and scum and actually find someone who is worth knowing, who is worth giving your heart to...you have to work to keep them. Just as they, if they are smart, have to work to keep you. Love is scary, love is inconvenient, love is all-consuming, love is...final. And it's this finality that scares a lot of people. It's not the commitment, it's the fact that this is it. This is what your life is leading up to...and what if it fails? It might, you know. You can't look ahead into the future and see if you'll be with this person 10 years down the line...you just have to trust that it's there. A wise person once said that loving someone means that you have given them the means to hurt you, yet you trust them not to. And I think that's it. Not this mushy, "let me count the ways" type of love. And not even the bodice-ripping "let me take you now" type of love that people sometimes crave.
Love is an end. Love is something to strive for.
And once you get it...NEVER let go.
This movie is "The Last Kiss", which stars Zach Braff and Rachel Bilson.
This is the type of movie to watch when you are in a good, old-fashioned, love-hating, guy-bashing mood. You know those kinds of movies.
In TLK, Zach Braff plays the role of a man whose girlfriend is pregnant; they aren't married, but they are in love. He keeps finding ways to side-step the discussion of marriage and a future; he's scared of the future and the "finality" of it. Braff may be the main character, but his story falls into the background at times as all of the other characters have problems in their relationships. Braff's girlfriend's parents seperate from each other; a friend of Braff is "trapped" in his marriage to a shrew of a woman and their child; another friend is trying to get over a woman who he still loves, but does not love him back, as well as deal with the failing health of his father; still another friend finds himself in his dream relationship--he finds himself "the perfect girl" who doesn't care what he does, has amazing sex with, etc.--but finds it moving too fast when she wants him to meet her parents; and last, Rachel Bilson plays a college student that tempts Braff into adultery.
What. The. Fuck.
All right, here we go. Strap on your seatbelts and keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times.
Men are scum. I was already feeling this before watching this movie, but this just solidifies my thoughts on the subject. As a whole, men are completely stupid, think with the WRONG head, are disgusting pigs. Now yes, I KNOW that there are some good guys left in the world--I am friends with plenty of them--but the fact still remains. Case in point: the fact that men are three times more likely than women to cheat in a relationship (however, the percentage of men who admit to cheating on their significant other is relatively low, only about 35%). I know, I have been in a NUMBER of relationships where I have been cheated on--in some cases, multiple times because I was stupid myself and went back to the fuckers because they told me that they would change. Men are jerks. Men are insensitive; men are oblivious to an awful lot of things, unless they play some kind of sport or have boobs. And even then, men find new ways to mistreat them.
Again, I should know. While I was only in one relationship where I was in actual danger--abuse is NEVER a fun thing to go through--there were many other relationships where I was emotionally and verbally abused. Told I was scum, I wasn't pretty, I would never BE pretty, I was stupid, I wasn't talented, that no guy would ever want me. And for a long, long time, I was stupid enough to believe that. I was stupid enough to let that effect me. I was stupid enough to let that damage me. Well, no more.
Watching this movie tonight, I realize the importance, the vitality of love. But I also realize that in a loving relationship, the feelings of the other person come first; the other person is the person THAT YOU PUT ABOVE ALL OTHERS. If you love that person, then the stupid little defects, the little quirks that they have won't bother you as much. At least, they shouldn't. You should be able to look past them to their character, their soul. When a person gives you their heart, they trust that you will not break it. They trust you enough to give you a vital part of themselves, and if you screw that up...well, that's your own damn fault.
I once dated a guy who said that he couldn't stand his on-again, off-again girlfriend. She was immature, indecisive, had cheated on him. He wanted a relationship with me, and things went well for a while, until he cheated on me--with guess who? That's right.
He never even apologized for hurting me.
I don't think he ever even realized, which is sad, because I actually cried over him for days on end. I wasted all of those tears on someone who probably forgot about me within a few hours of telling me he cheated on me.
Guys are scum. Guys are horrible, mean, awful, shouldn't be allowed to breed. Guys are stupid, guys are disgusting, guys are heartless, guys are assholes.
However.
(There's always a however.) However. Love is hard. Love takes work. Once you look past all the grime and scum and actually find someone who is worth knowing, who is worth giving your heart to...you have to work to keep them. Just as they, if they are smart, have to work to keep you. Love is scary, love is inconvenient, love is all-consuming, love is...final. And it's this finality that scares a lot of people. It's not the commitment, it's the fact that this is it. This is what your life is leading up to...and what if it fails? It might, you know. You can't look ahead into the future and see if you'll be with this person 10 years down the line...you just have to trust that it's there. A wise person once said that loving someone means that you have given them the means to hurt you, yet you trust them not to. And I think that's it. Not this mushy, "let me count the ways" type of love. And not even the bodice-ripping "let me take you now" type of love that people sometimes crave.
Love is an end. Love is something to strive for.
And once you get it...NEVER let go.