Venting...again, I do this WAY too much
Why is it that everyone else seems to be able to carry on these perfectly happy relationships where they are treated like they're wanted and loved where as I always seem to get the shit end of the stick? I'm so tired of trying. All I've done for the past 5 months is give, and I don't want to be the only one giving anymore. He wanted things to change, and I have no probem with that, but if he doesn't do anything to at least try, then there's nothing there. What kind of relationship is it if he lives in a buliding that's 100 feet away and I barely ever see him?! He never calls back when he says he will, he never stops by. The only time I ever see or talk to him is if I make an effort or we just happen to run into each other, I have no problem with him wanting time with his friends, but don't I deserve a little time too? Even when he does come over, he ignores me and goes to talk to everyone else on the floor. Why do I keep doing this to myself?! I keep getting angry and upset but I'm so afraid of ending up completely alone that I don't do anything about it. But sometimes I think that if I did end it, I woudn't feel as alone as I do now. The one thing about our relationship that actually made me feel wanted is gone, but it needs to be replaced with something...and so far I've only seen less and less. I'm so disappointed in him and in myself.