(no subject)
So I lied; the new school year brought me way less time to update than I had expected. But tonight seems like the appropriate time to leaving a long, rambling post. Tonight at work Monte and I got to talking about old times and memories and the future. The closer it gets to August 22nd, the more real going away to college and leaving everything behind seems. I guess my mom said it best the other night: "This is your time to completely reinvent yourself any way you want to." I don't know if I can though. So much from my past has shaped who I am today, and I don't know if I'd want to change that. I've fallen, I've been hurt, I've been bruised, I've been challenged, I've succeeded, I've proven myself, I've accomplished things I didn't know I could...and so much more. All of these things combined are part of me, and if it weren't for theses events, I'd be a completely different person. So how can I "completely reinvent myself?" How can I forget all I've been through and simply start with a clean slate? I don't think it's possible. The same applies to people in my life. As the lyrics from Wicked say, "I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are led, to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return." I strongly agree with that. There have been people in my life that have come and gone in less than a year, but some of them are people whom have had the biggest impact on me. I can't imagine what my life will be like next year without certain people, but I know I'll never see them again after graduation. Even the S.H.S. kids; we all promised we'd stay close throughout high school, but who do I still talk to? Out of a class of 20, there are about 5 that I can still call friends. What will happen to them next year? Will we remain close, even despite distances such as Florida, or will we drift apart like everyone else? And what will happen to people at Coughlin whom I've just started talking to this year, but have inspired and been a friend in ways I never knew. Will they still be there for me, or will it all just fade away? 20 years from now, when I am in "the real world," how many of these people will know I still exist?
I think the things about high school that I'll miss the most are the weird little things. I've been walking through the halls these past few weeks thinking "wow, this school really is crappy...but I'll definitely miss all of it." I guess all of the crumbling walls and scum give it a bit of character. What actually is there to miss in a school that's perfect and always clean? I think flaws are the best parts of life. I'll miss the crumbly wall going from the 20/s to the auditorium, the Santa face that's on the stage all year long, the giant stage curtain, full of holes, the chair Matt broke in 10th grade, the steps I fell down in front of the whole school, the chorus concerts, reading the names over the stage, pep rallies, and assemblies. I'll miss the swimming pool in the bandroom, the giant dice blocks that have been around since 9th grade, the bulletin board that's never up-to-date, the mis-matched cafeteria, the gym ceiling full or birdies, especially the one B.J. got stuck in a crack in 10th grade. I'll miss the gross gum wads under the front stairs of the annex, the block missing from the wall all year, them missing ceiling in the 70s, the railing that's been gone from the 70s to the 60s since freshman year ( I was there when it finally fell off all the way too), the door that slams, and the cafeteria doors that are usually locked. I'll even miss the traffic in between classes, saying hi to at least 5 people on the way to each class, knowing which way is the best way to get to class in order to avoid underclassmen, and always being able to use the "cross-walk-traffic-jam" excuse as to why you're late to class. I'll miss the big star in the 40's, the trophy case full of dead animals, the science labs that don't quite work, the sockets we thought didn't work (until Nick shoved a paper clip in one and short-circuited the 40s), the Carol posters, and the weird way classrooms are connected in the 30s. Most of all, I'll miss the 20s. That's been like my at school home. The Journal and Breidlin offices have always been my safe-havens; when I had a bad day, I knew I could go and get a pass to get out of class and just sit down and relax. I knew there'd be always someone there for me to talk to and who'd help calm me down. The crazy Journal door, as weird as this sounds, has been like a "home sweet home" sign, and it's reassured me that I had a place to belong. I'll really miss the lizard on the ceiling, too.
I think the things about high school that I'll miss the most are the weird little things. I've been walking through the halls these past few weeks thinking "wow, this school really is crappy...but I'll definitely miss all of it." I guess all of the crumbling walls and scum give it a bit of character. What actually is there to miss in a school that's perfect and always clean? I think flaws are the best parts of life. I'll miss the crumbly wall going from the 20/s to the auditorium, the Santa face that's on the stage all year long, the giant stage curtain, full of holes, the chair Matt broke in 10th grade, the steps I fell down in front of the whole school, the chorus concerts, reading the names over the stage, pep rallies, and assemblies. I'll miss the swimming pool in the bandroom, the giant dice blocks that have been around since 9th grade, the bulletin board that's never up-to-date, the mis-matched cafeteria, the gym ceiling full or birdies, especially the one B.J. got stuck in a crack in 10th grade. I'll miss the gross gum wads under the front stairs of the annex, the block missing from the wall all year, them missing ceiling in the 70s, the railing that's been gone from the 70s to the 60s since freshman year ( I was there when it finally fell off all the way too), the door that slams, and the cafeteria doors that are usually locked. I'll even miss the traffic in between classes, saying hi to at least 5 people on the way to each class, knowing which way is the best way to get to class in order to avoid underclassmen, and always being able to use the "cross-walk-traffic-jam" excuse as to why you're late to class. I'll miss the big star in the 40's, the trophy case full of dead animals, the science labs that don't quite work, the sockets we thought didn't work (until Nick shoved a paper clip in one and short-circuited the 40s), the Carol posters, and the weird way classrooms are connected in the 30s. Most of all, I'll miss the 20s. That's been like my at school home. The Journal and Breidlin offices have always been my safe-havens; when I had a bad day, I knew I could go and get a pass to get out of class and just sit down and relax. I knew there'd be always someone there for me to talk to and who'd help calm me down. The crazy Journal door, as weird as this sounds, has been like a "home sweet home" sign, and it's reassured me that I had a place to belong. I'll really miss the lizard on the ceiling, too.