(no subject)
so here it is, i've not been on here in a while so i do have a few interesting stories, but they all pretty much revolve around one person. we'll call this person "the jew." i know what you're thinking, "wow ally, that is so racist!" but just wait, as you will see, this person practically names himself. so me and my roommates are sitting around getting drunk one night when amy (roommate) gets a call from her boyfriend. a few minutes later he's at our door and i, for the first time, meet "the jew." i'm taken with him for some reason and let my roommates know. well you know how girls are, we all feel that it's our civic duty to hook our friends up with anyone they find even remotly attractive and my roommate amy is no different. this very same night amy returns from giving "the jew" a ride home and informs me that he thinks i am absolutely beautiful. she insists that he really likes me and that he simply must come over again the next night. me, being the cynic that i am, jokingly comment "and what does his girlfriend think about that?"
"what? who told you he had a girlfriend?" oh nice, thanks amy but i don't prefer unavailable guys.
"no, he is breaking up with her seriously, and don't tell him i told you because he told me not to tell you." yeah i bet he's breaking up with his girlfriend right? but after an hour of convincing i decide it's ok if he comes over the next night.
well, "the jew" does come back over, but guess what, talking is not in his vocabulary. mostly i don't really care and i just think, what the hell, i may as well get laid out of all this, so we head to my bedroom. this is where things get humorous.
things are pretty hot and heavy at this point, so i decide to reach down and touch some-thing hard. to my utter shock, this boy was completely soft! he frantically apologized, but then quickly returned to other things. then later as he was kissing me, i felt a small drop on my forehead. then i felt a few more drops, and i realized that this boy was sweating all over me!! i was disgusted, but i had come this far so i had better get SOMETHING out of all this.
when "the jew" finally did get hard, he reached for a condom, but no sooner had he touched it, his penis went limp again. after numerous attempts, "the jew" got hard long enough to put on a condom. as soon as he put it in, i realized this would be more than worth the wait. it was INCREDIBLE! for about three minutes that is. after that he was done. he once again apologized profusly, but i pretty much ignored him.
then, and this is by far the best, he says "here, you can have this condom. i got like 500 of them for $50." so i'm thinking, yeah, thanks for the 10 cent condom, that's just great. then he adds "hey, are you catholic??"
"yeah"
"oh cool. i'm jewish. ever fucked a jew before?" WHAT??!! are you KIDDING ME?? who says that?? then he leaves. so two nights ago, he returns for a reinactment, but this time gives an amazing performance. i was blown away and after, amy tells me that all he does is talk about me, blah blah blah, he likes me so much, more blah.
sadly, for the last two nights, i've been trying to talk to him and can't. it's exactly what i didn't want to happen-i find myself likeing him. so now he can get a hold of me, but i cna't get a hold of him. he comes here when he wants to, but if i want him he can't come. now i'm a booty call! in one last vain attempt to prove that i'm emotionless toward him, i invite someone else over tonight. sadly, that too was a bust-in literally two minutes.
i hate men, and i hate feeling for someone when they don't feel back. how could i have let myself do this?? i KNEW he had a girlfriend! he keeps telling me he's going to break up with her but he won't and i know it. i haven't answered his calls all night and i deleted him from my phone, but i'm just angry with myself for feeling for him!! every single time i feel for someone they end up hurting me. EVERY TIME! i need severe help....
"what? who told you he had a girlfriend?" oh nice, thanks amy but i don't prefer unavailable guys.
"no, he is breaking up with her seriously, and don't tell him i told you because he told me not to tell you." yeah i bet he's breaking up with his girlfriend right? but after an hour of convincing i decide it's ok if he comes over the next night.
well, "the jew" does come back over, but guess what, talking is not in his vocabulary. mostly i don't really care and i just think, what the hell, i may as well get laid out of all this, so we head to my bedroom. this is where things get humorous.
things are pretty hot and heavy at this point, so i decide to reach down and touch some-thing hard. to my utter shock, this boy was completely soft! he frantically apologized, but then quickly returned to other things. then later as he was kissing me, i felt a small drop on my forehead. then i felt a few more drops, and i realized that this boy was sweating all over me!! i was disgusted, but i had come this far so i had better get SOMETHING out of all this.
when "the jew" finally did get hard, he reached for a condom, but no sooner had he touched it, his penis went limp again. after numerous attempts, "the jew" got hard long enough to put on a condom. as soon as he put it in, i realized this would be more than worth the wait. it was INCREDIBLE! for about three minutes that is. after that he was done. he once again apologized profusly, but i pretty much ignored him.
then, and this is by far the best, he says "here, you can have this condom. i got like 500 of them for $50." so i'm thinking, yeah, thanks for the 10 cent condom, that's just great. then he adds "hey, are you catholic??"
"yeah"
"oh cool. i'm jewish. ever fucked a jew before?" WHAT??!! are you KIDDING ME?? who says that?? then he leaves. so two nights ago, he returns for a reinactment, but this time gives an amazing performance. i was blown away and after, amy tells me that all he does is talk about me, blah blah blah, he likes me so much, more blah.
sadly, for the last two nights, i've been trying to talk to him and can't. it's exactly what i didn't want to happen-i find myself likeing him. so now he can get a hold of me, but i cna't get a hold of him. he comes here when he wants to, but if i want him he can't come. now i'm a booty call! in one last vain attempt to prove that i'm emotionless toward him, i invite someone else over tonight. sadly, that too was a bust-in literally two minutes.
i hate men, and i hate feeling for someone when they don't feel back. how could i have let myself do this?? i KNEW he had a girlfriend! he keeps telling me he's going to break up with her but he won't and i know it. i haven't answered his calls all night and i deleted him from my phone, but i'm just angry with myself for feeling for him!! every single time i feel for someone they end up hurting me. EVERY TIME! i need severe help....