Make me forget everything i ever wanted, and make me remember everything i ever lost.
It has been a while, but i am still here. This past week has been extremely emotional, for reasons that i am yet to be sure of. What i do know is that, i wish i had someone to comfort me when i feel like this, its hard enough to be completely alone, and when i say completely that is exactly how i feel, some people can always go to a friend or their parents, but i am left to deal with all the shit everyone deals with alone, not to mention that i have it pretty rough as it is, if there was someone there to go through it with me, at least i could count on that. I am tiered of having to struggle, since i can remember my whole life has been a constant struggle, and for what? For all these people i love so much to keep letting me down. I am so tiered of having to go everyday worrying about the next, i just want to get a brake, i am only 20 years old and i can no longer handle all this bullshit, what am i supposed to look forward to ? More struggles? Why? It just dosn't make sense, and its not supposed to make sense, but i don't think it was supposed to be this hard. I am well aware that life isn't easy or fair, fine i can deal with that, but growing up in a place where people have families who care, friends that matter, and not having any of that myself, just makes it so difficult to continue with this never ending struggle. I can deal with not being raised in a family that can provide, financially as well as emotionally, but to have to deal with it in the surrounding's i live in is just a little more difficult, and having to deal with it ALONE is the problem. I want to give up because it's so much easier to, and i am exhausted, so exhausted with everything.