people are starting to notice....
this life is drowning me and people are starting to notice. this random girl from the spanish club emailed me this:
"Whatever has been getting you down lately should pale in comparison to your great qualities. I don't know exactly what is up, but please look in the mirror and congratulate yourself on a job well done.....Por favor, SMEEEEELAAAAYY (the phonetic spelling of saying smile with spanish pronunciation)"
so i think i'm out of the denial stage. i am suffering from depression. as i may have already mentioned, i'm going to see a professional tomorrow to listen to me and figure out what's going on in my head.
i wake up every hour of the night sweating with my heart racing thinking about what i'm going to do for my clients in the clinic. i spend about 4 hours a week in tears and having anxiety attacks of all sorts. for the first time ever i didn't turn in a paper when it was due without asking the teacher for an extension. in fact, i didn't even know it was assigned till after the due date and it's been almost a week and i still haven't done it. i have no initiative. i've got a ton of tests and papers due this week and i haven't done any of them. i want to drop out of everything i'm involved in. i want to drop all my classes. i just want to lay in bed and sleep forever.
on a more positive note, i'm happy with my life overall. i think i've made a lot of good decisions. i've got a wonderful new boyfriend. i miss my friends, but in may i will be able to hang out with them again in may. i have no idea what is causing my depression aside from the sheer volume of activities that i am involved in. (which is drastically cutting itself down to class, work, gym and church)
April L. - are you still wanting to go on spring break with us?
April H. - can we still come and visit you? it'll be like march 20ish-25ish that we'll be in your area. dad said we may stay in statesville with my aunt martha.
"Whatever has been getting you down lately should pale in comparison to your great qualities. I don't know exactly what is up, but please look in the mirror and congratulate yourself on a job well done.....Por favor, SMEEEEELAAAAYY (the phonetic spelling of saying smile with spanish pronunciation)"
so i think i'm out of the denial stage. i am suffering from depression. as i may have already mentioned, i'm going to see a professional tomorrow to listen to me and figure out what's going on in my head.
i wake up every hour of the night sweating with my heart racing thinking about what i'm going to do for my clients in the clinic. i spend about 4 hours a week in tears and having anxiety attacks of all sorts. for the first time ever i didn't turn in a paper when it was due without asking the teacher for an extension. in fact, i didn't even know it was assigned till after the due date and it's been almost a week and i still haven't done it. i have no initiative. i've got a ton of tests and papers due this week and i haven't done any of them. i want to drop out of everything i'm involved in. i want to drop all my classes. i just want to lay in bed and sleep forever.
on a more positive note, i'm happy with my life overall. i think i've made a lot of good decisions. i've got a wonderful new boyfriend. i miss my friends, but in may i will be able to hang out with them again in may. i have no idea what is causing my depression aside from the sheer volume of activities that i am involved in. (which is drastically cutting itself down to class, work, gym and church)
April L. - are you still wanting to go on spring break with us?
April H. - can we still come and visit you? it'll be like march 20ish-25ish that we'll be in your area. dad said we may stay in statesville with my aunt martha.