i WAS TOLD i WAS BEAUTiFUL, BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO YOU?
i WANNA BE AT THE BEACH!
so today was a absolute gorgeous day. at lunch i was just dieing to rip off my shirt nd lay on a table it was so sunny nd cool.
so yea i hadda stay after school for winter concert rehersals, its so terrible, most of us are off pitch except for a few of us, it pisses me off i wanted to grab a gun nd shoot myself. but moving on...
hes so adrable. i want him so bad.
im watchin golden girls..awesome show. i love it, ugh got so much going on, im really stressed out nd i dono why, theres just been so much on my mind im having trouble concentrating nd my grades are slipping.... im going crazy. nd i need to just get out and run but i lost my gym key so i have to go look for it, coz i havent looked yet nd im sure its somehwere in my bed coz i fell asleep w. it in my bed nd we all know i toss nd turn so much.
there isnt even nething overly stessful in myself i just feel so...useless.not to sound all mello-dramatic but its true.
im not saying my lifes one big shit hole, becoz its not..my lifes great, amazing friends and all that good stuff, but im just so stressed, nd the thing is there isnt even nething i can think about that would stress me out this much...maybe its midterms, but that shouldnt do that to me, ahh im rambling, whats wrong with me!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think the thing is iwant to much out of life, i wanna be the best and the prettiest and the smartest,....and im not, so maybe its all this pent up insecurity that i keep inside, nd its just tomuch for me to handle. damn i really gotta go run now.
x0x0xx
so today was a absolute gorgeous day. at lunch i was just dieing to rip off my shirt nd lay on a table it was so sunny nd cool.
so yea i hadda stay after school for winter concert rehersals, its so terrible, most of us are off pitch except for a few of us, it pisses me off i wanted to grab a gun nd shoot myself. but moving on...
hes so adrable. i want him so bad.
im watchin golden girls..awesome show. i love it, ugh got so much going on, im really stressed out nd i dono why, theres just been so much on my mind im having trouble concentrating nd my grades are slipping.... im going crazy. nd i need to just get out and run but i lost my gym key so i have to go look for it, coz i havent looked yet nd im sure its somehwere in my bed coz i fell asleep w. it in my bed nd we all know i toss nd turn so much.
there isnt even nething overly stessful in myself i just feel so...useless.not to sound all mello-dramatic but its true.
im not saying my lifes one big shit hole, becoz its not..my lifes great, amazing friends and all that good stuff, but im just so stressed, nd the thing is there isnt even nething i can think about that would stress me out this much...maybe its midterms, but that shouldnt do that to me, ahh im rambling, whats wrong with me!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think the thing is iwant to much out of life, i wanna be the best and the prettiest and the smartest,....and im not, so maybe its all this pent up insecurity that i keep inside, nd its just tomuch for me to handle. damn i really gotta go run now.
x0x0xx