3 wOrDs...i'M mOvInG oN......
Yep...i'm moving on and letting go. I can't hold on 2 what i don't have anymore. Mark obviously doesn't want 2 be w/ me so i why do i keep trying and keep waiting?? It's getting me nowhere. Everyone tells me not 2 worry that he'll come around eventually and realize he loves me 2. I can't wait until eventually. I've already waited long enough. We had a phone conversation about 15 minutes ago and i told him i was letting go. From now on i was just gonna be his friend and nothing else. I'm trying so hard 2 smile right now.....to tell myself that i'm gonna be okay and that it's gonna be easy letting go of what was never there. But it's not easy.....because there really was something there.....for me anyways.....even if it wasn't there for him. Plastic smiles..........like a Barbie........have u ever noticed that no matter what Barbie is doing she's always smiling?? Every Barbie u buy always has that same perfect smile painted across her face. She never shows any emotion...she never looks sad or sympathetic...or any other emotion u would expect a doll 2 show. She must be pretty happy......maybe that's what i should do.....put on my "Barbie face" and play like everything is fine. Just shut out the world and make it all go away....maybe one day i'll open up and see that everything worked out just fine. That i really did go through w/ moving on from Mark and that i don't have 2 hide my true emotions from him anymore. Ha....once upon a time in a perfect world....I don't feel very well 2night....not just because of Mark but because of what i ate.....blah.........i think i need 2 go b4 i hurl all over the computer screen.....l8r........