(no subject)
this has been a week full of bombshells.
on the bad side, my kitty, rigby, passed away. he had heart disease. :( i'm going to miss him so much. he was the craziest cat i've ever met. but, my family and i gave him the best life that we could while he was with us, and that's comforting. i still love him so much. <3
another bad bombshell...i got fired from yearbook for not doing office hours for 2 weeks. i totally deserved it, and i need to focus on schoolwork and STN more than it anyway. but it still sucks. i feel pretty shitty about it.
but there were better bombshells! alex likes me back (and we made out and cuddled soooo much all week =])...he and i told a few people in STN that yes, the rumors are true :P...and one of our friends is gay WHICH BLOWS MY FUCKING MIND OMG I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED! i mean it's totally cool, but i would never have pegged him in the slightest.
and...probably the biggest bombshell of the week...and one of the biggest i've ever been told.
alex is bisexual.
and i'm the first person he ever told.
EVER.
i...freaked out when he told me. FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. not because of the fact that he's bi - i think that's awesome (and hot :P)...but for 2 reasons. 1, because he hid it so well, i would never have guessed it in a billion years. and 2, I AM THE FIRST PERSON HE HAS EVER TOLD. 4 years of knowing he was bi and he couldn't ever tell anybody. he was certain none of his friends or family back home in maryland would ever understand...
it's completely insane to me that i'm the first person he has ever trusted enough to do it...i'm like...honored, in a way. but also like...that's such a heavy thing to tell someone...to know that he trusts me so deeply, and we have a strong enough bond between us that he felt safe telling me...i can't really explain it. it's just crazy that it's me. idk what it means for our relationship. we have a bond that i can't explain. it's deeper than friendship. i think. we'll see.
i'm so proud of him, though. and so, so ridiculously happy. he's told probably 10 more people since i found out on thursday, and he's absolutely ecstatic that he doesn't have to hide who he is from the world anymore. it makes me SO happy to see him like this. i've told him this plenty of times, but i've never been more attracted to him than i am since he's told me that. =] it's like i get to see a whole new side of him, and now i know the whole alex, not just the facade he was putting up to hide one of the biggest aspects of his life. i'm so ridiculously attracted to him, omg. physically and mentally, he's just awesome. <3
plus, whoamygod he likes boys. i LOVE boys who like boys. rawr =]
so in conclusion, alex is awesome and i'm so happy we're close friends/makeout buddies =) <3
it's almost spring break you guys! it's like 98% certain that i'll get to travel somewhere with pep band, because the uha women's team is doing AMAAAAAZING. we're ranked 21 in the country, which has never goddamn happened before at my school. everrrr. holy crap, it's going to be amazing.
life has its ups and downs, but overall, things have been awesome lately. i hope this keeps up. i haven't been this happy in quite a while. =)
on the bad side, my kitty, rigby, passed away. he had heart disease. :( i'm going to miss him so much. he was the craziest cat i've ever met. but, my family and i gave him the best life that we could while he was with us, and that's comforting. i still love him so much. <3
another bad bombshell...i got fired from yearbook for not doing office hours for 2 weeks. i totally deserved it, and i need to focus on schoolwork and STN more than it anyway. but it still sucks. i feel pretty shitty about it.
but there were better bombshells! alex likes me back (and we made out and cuddled soooo much all week =])...he and i told a few people in STN that yes, the rumors are true :P...and one of our friends is gay WHICH BLOWS MY FUCKING MIND OMG I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED! i mean it's totally cool, but i would never have pegged him in the slightest.
and...probably the biggest bombshell of the week...and one of the biggest i've ever been told.
alex is bisexual.
and i'm the first person he ever told.
EVER.
i...freaked out when he told me. FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. not because of the fact that he's bi - i think that's awesome (and hot :P)...but for 2 reasons. 1, because he hid it so well, i would never have guessed it in a billion years. and 2, I AM THE FIRST PERSON HE HAS EVER TOLD. 4 years of knowing he was bi and he couldn't ever tell anybody. he was certain none of his friends or family back home in maryland would ever understand...
it's completely insane to me that i'm the first person he has ever trusted enough to do it...i'm like...honored, in a way. but also like...that's such a heavy thing to tell someone...to know that he trusts me so deeply, and we have a strong enough bond between us that he felt safe telling me...i can't really explain it. it's just crazy that it's me. idk what it means for our relationship. we have a bond that i can't explain. it's deeper than friendship. i think. we'll see.
i'm so proud of him, though. and so, so ridiculously happy. he's told probably 10 more people since i found out on thursday, and he's absolutely ecstatic that he doesn't have to hide who he is from the world anymore. it makes me SO happy to see him like this. i've told him this plenty of times, but i've never been more attracted to him than i am since he's told me that. =] it's like i get to see a whole new side of him, and now i know the whole alex, not just the facade he was putting up to hide one of the biggest aspects of his life. i'm so ridiculously attracted to him, omg. physically and mentally, he's just awesome. <3
plus, whoamygod he likes boys. i LOVE boys who like boys. rawr =]
so in conclusion, alex is awesome and i'm so happy we're close friends/makeout buddies =) <3
it's almost spring break you guys! it's like 98% certain that i'll get to travel somewhere with pep band, because the uha women's team is doing AMAAAAAZING. we're ranked 21 in the country, which has never goddamn happened before at my school. everrrr. holy crap, it's going to be amazing.
life has its ups and downs, but overall, things have been awesome lately. i hope this keeps up. i haven't been this happy in quite a while. =)