(no subject)
dana and i are getting an apartment. and when i say that, i mean we are past the looking stage and actually have agreed to one. not in writing yet, that will be next week when we sign our lives away for a year, but we are really doing this. i came home from work after i found out and tore my room apart. posters, pictures, letters, frames, everything came off my walls. my room is so empty and i have that empty feeling about leaving; i hate leaving my parents alone to let one of them get torn apart by the other, but i need to go. if i stay any longer i will hate myself. it could be because i never thought i wouldn't need so much stuff, or the guilt from the last two weeks by my mother which, as usual, has turned to jubilant shopping sprees to make up for it. whatever "it" is, its natural, i think, to be so reluctant to leave your home behind and try to find that place that you can call home without the people who raised you pushing you around.
work could not have been slower. the whole time i stressed about how we will financially and actually do this. we both know the first month will suck as much as sucking can suck. we are each putting down $1125 for our first/last/security and plan to live off of noodles for the rest of september. we still need to figure out furnishings, cable, internet, utilities, etc. some of these thing can wait and some of these things will have to wait. the smart thing to do would be working renaissance for a few days, but i would rather drain my savings to be independent than slave in a place that drains my soul. money is just a bunch of numbers, and stuff is a term for shit that you don't need and in this new chapter, i am ridding myself of both in a defiant, bold move towards independence. not to mention we are doing this right before school, so buying books will be another pain in the ass, since i have 4 great books that no one wants to buy off me. as frustrated and scared as i am to do this, i know its worth it. and we hope to score sweet donations.
i'm sorry i have been out of touch with all of you. i am working whatever i can to be able to afford this, and in the meantime i am trying to figure out school. i'd like to say once school starts that will change, but i hate cliches and lies. who knows. you all know how i am; i will get overwhelmed, breakdown and do it all again 3 weeks later. for those of you who stick by it no matter what, i love you.
i need to tag sale asap...
work could not have been slower. the whole time i stressed about how we will financially and actually do this. we both know the first month will suck as much as sucking can suck. we are each putting down $1125 for our first/last/security and plan to live off of noodles for the rest of september. we still need to figure out furnishings, cable, internet, utilities, etc. some of these thing can wait and some of these things will have to wait. the smart thing to do would be working renaissance for a few days, but i would rather drain my savings to be independent than slave in a place that drains my soul. money is just a bunch of numbers, and stuff is a term for shit that you don't need and in this new chapter, i am ridding myself of both in a defiant, bold move towards independence. not to mention we are doing this right before school, so buying books will be another pain in the ass, since i have 4 great books that no one wants to buy off me. as frustrated and scared as i am to do this, i know its worth it. and we hope to score sweet donations.
i'm sorry i have been out of touch with all of you. i am working whatever i can to be able to afford this, and in the meantime i am trying to figure out school. i'd like to say once school starts that will change, but i hate cliches and lies. who knows. you all know how i am; i will get overwhelmed, breakdown and do it all again 3 weeks later. for those of you who stick by it no matter what, i love you.
i need to tag sale asap...