if only i could push rewind
due to my lack of a place to turn i return to trusty old livejournal. i have a problem..i need to shut up. i need to go to an all girls school. i need to shut up. think before you speak. read before you push send. STOP SCARING PEOPLE OFF. its not always good to tell them EXACTLY what youre thinking. i mean ya ill rationalize it to where i meant for it to happen...but lets be real. im sad and mad and about to cry. i could have worked it out. now they both think im a nutcase. maybe i am. shit ineed to figure this out and fix it. fuck im sooooo stupid. he was good. or not? i dont know but it seemed good. his flaws were nothing compared to so many others. and i went and fucked it up so i wouldnt eventually get hurt. but now im hurt. but maybe i cope better when i hurt myself as opposed to them hurting me. im stil in control that way. wow maybe that is it. i do it every time. every every time. maybe he isnt worth it cuz he reacted like that. or maybe im just a nutcase.